On Persevering!
Slowly, I pulled the handbrake up, shifted the gear into neutral and turned off the ignition. Then I nervously looked at the passenger seat but the spectacled, middle aged man didn’t give anything away. His lips pursed, not a smile nor a frown in sight; he looked down at his clipboard and after what felt like a decade he lifted his eyes and nodded at me. That was it, I knew then that I had done it. I silently cheered and a grin stretched across my face from ear to ear. Finally, I had done it. 5th time lucky. No minors, the green sheet was clear. I had passed my driving test.
(This is based on when I finally passed my driving test!)
There have been many instances in my life when I have wanted to give up but am glad that I pushed through, continued, picked myself up and carried on. In this case, I do believe that because I had 5 driving instructors and I kept changing my instructor, each one must have cursed me or something hence it took me 5 tries before I finally passed!
Another instance I wanted to give up at the first hurdle was my part time job at M&S when I was in college. Even though it was a temporary Christmas job, I was ready to hand in my notice after just a few weeks because I felt I couldn’t do it anymore with college work!
Or the time when I was teacher training at my final placement, I had no support from my Host Practitioner (the teacher whose class I was teaching 80% of the time)I failed quite a few observations and was put on a ‘special support’ program courtesy of my university lecturer. I came through it but the same thing happened to me in my NQT year, where I faced many challenges in a school that did not have a great support structure in place when I first started. It was literally: sink or swim.
Sometimes, life gets us down but I do firmly believe that with every difficulty you learn many things. With every problem you face and overcome you become stronger, braver, wiser and certainly more resilient.
The next time you face a similar problem which has been dressed up in another way, your past experiences will shape how you respond to it.
Something I have learnt is to think before I react because our reaction is the most fundamental thing we can control.
Words spoken in anger can’t be taken back. Even if we apologise later, that ill feeling is not easily forgotten. As a Muslim, I believe everything has been decreed by Allah, to be pleased with the Almighty’s decree as everything that happens is with God’s permission. How we react is our choice.
This is definitely one of my favourite Rumi quotes! It gives the sense of much hope, it doesn’t matter who you are, what you believe, even if you feel you are the worst person in the world, it tells us that as long as we’re alive, breathing and living in this world we have the amazing opportunity to be good people and persevere.
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Sometimes it’s fine to give up too! To know your own limits and cut something off before you reach breaking point for your own mental wellbeing. There is wisdom in this. Leaving behind things that aren’t benefitting you or others in a positive way. As I mentioned in a previous post, when one door closes another opens.
Most of us have goals in life, wether that is to lose weight, become successful in our jobs, earn more money, start a family or buy a new house and the steps to getting our goals vary based on our personal situation. Imam Hanbal said: God does not compel a soul to do something beyond his ability.
We should always be striving to attain our goals but the question should be why do we want it? Checking our intention is pivotal. Are we doing it for our own sake? To please others? Or if you are religious it may be to gain closer to God.
The Covid outbreak should have allowed us a lot of time to reflect on our purpose and hopefully taught us many things including how we deal with things that aren’t in our control. A maxim I recently came across which is relevant here is: The nafs: if you do not busy it with good will become busy with evil.
Or another way to put it is the proverb: idle hands, make fretful minds.
Essentially, it is better to keep yourself busy with a structure and routine, rather than procrastinating or getting involved in pointless things. Much like how we structure our day for our children (school, homework, screen time, dinner, bath and bed) as adults we also need a routine to give us that sense of purpose.
Have you noticed that in life we might leave something that we enjoy doing? Perhaps later in our life, when we have more time or our situation changes we are once again inclined to do that what we enjoyed?
I remember when I was in secondary school I would read tons of books, making a trip to the library every other day! I stopped reading for a little while after I read Khaled Hosseini’s book ‘The Kite Runner’. and then a year or so later I mustered the courage to read his other book ‘A Thousand Splendid Suns’ both of these books left a profound impact on me. If anyone has read them then you will agree that they would leave you emotionally scarred! I literally couldn’t read another devastating book again for quite a while afterwards and I went off reading altogether. I did return back to reading once those powerful feelings evoked by the author had faded. But, it just shows that I have always been inclined to reading so I would return back to it.
This blog is unfinished but I am going to post it now all the same as I’m out of time. Having a young family is hard work! Please do share your thoughts on the matter. I’m on the lookout for new books to read at the moment so if you have any recommendations then leave a comment. If you relate to anything I’ve written in my blog I’d appreciate some love by way of ‘claps’, comments or shares.
Aamri
