A Little Surprise
London, March 2023
The rain pounded against the window of my office in London as I heard a soft knock on my door. As soon as the door flung open — in my shock, I found Natalie behind it with a smile that swiped across her face, and the moment she stepped inside, the icy grip of the storm that relentlessly raged outside no longer made my place freezing as if she brought the sun inside — it feels warm the moment I saw her.
Quelle agréable surprise. Honestly, this was a pleasant surprise that I would like to get from time to time.
We settled on the couch as the rain continued its dance outside with the distant rumbles of thunder that were heard.
“I hope I’m not interrupting your work.” She said apologetically, knowing I’ve been busy the past few weeks as I’ve got a lot to hand over.
Today’s my last day working in Formula One — after a few years working in the most fast-paced work environment I’ve been in, I finally chose to go back. The thrill, the sleepless night for a few days straight, the constant pressure of achieving the best result from time to time, and how I can’t afford any distraction — not even the slightest one.
I’ve talked about this with Natalie before, as my father not-so-accidentally mentioned when I would be back working at my family company just a few days after I asked her out (we had dinner at my place that day). Talking about it when we just dated feels like it will be too much for her to handle — I don’t want her to feel overwhelmed with all the things I’ve done for her, and I don’t want her to feel guilty about the reason when I abruptly changed my career — just so that I could find her, even when she knew it already. But it was different when she heard it from the other person, my father.
“No — not at all.” I would like her to come unannounced like this as many times as she could.
“I didn’t know you’d be in London.” We didn’t talk about it when I called her in the morning.
Her smile, as enchanting as ever, widened, and a playful glint danced in her eyes, “It won’t be fun if you knew about it.”
Yes, it won’t be fun, but what matters is she was here with me.
“How long you’ll be here?”
“How long do you want me to stay?”
Pour toujours — the only acceptable answer.
I couldn’t help but quickly grinned at her, “As long as you could.” I could settle on this one for now, even when my lips longed for the word forever.
“Should I?” A small smile graced her lips, drawing the corner of my mouth into one too.
“You should,” I stated.
“Alright. Two days sound good to you?”
That’s not a long time. I need more. More than two days.
“Can you stay a bit longer?” I stroked her hands gently as I tried to tell her that I genuinely missed her — I’d probably spend most of my weekends in Monaco with her only if work didn’t catch up. Given the short time I have to wrap everything up in just a month doesn’t give me that much time off, and my weekend is filled with meetings too.
“How long do you want me to stay?”
“One week? No, two weeks?” I would want her to stay for a month if she could, but I know she had much to do. “What about three weeks?”
She chuckled as soon as she heard my indecisiveness.
“That won’t do.” The disappointment was etched across my face.
“I have to fly to White Walls next week. For Maya’s wedding party. Haven’t I told you that before?” She asked me.
I froze. She already told me, “I’m sorry, that one slipped.”
How could I forget about this one?
“Yeah… I think so too.”
“Are you…mad?”
“Why would I?” The corners of her mouth turned up as she let out a small laugh.
“Because I forgot?”
She shook her head, “You’ve got a lot of work, Dan. It’s alright. I’m sure you don’t mean to.”
“I’m so sorry,” I said again.
“You were pretty busy, and I’m sure you didn’t get any sleep.” She pointed out my noticeable dark circles and the amount of paperwork on my desk — the last day will always be the busiest day because there were many things to do with just a little time.
“I’m sorry,” I repeated.
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“Stop saying sorry.” She said. “We all forgot one or two things when we were preoccupied — you’ve got a lot to do. You’ve had to go through an extensive number of meetings with sleepless nights recently; of course, there will be things that you’ll forget. It’s understandable.”
“Don’t you remember when we promised to have lunch together, but then I already had mine?”
“You were busy that day,” I answered.
“So do you.”
Even with her telling me it doesn’t matter, I still feel bad for forgetting what I should’ve remembered. White Walls was one of the places she’d stayed the longest when she was away. I heard many good things too about them — how they took care of Natalie or when the sisters woke up three hours early so Natalie could get a warm banana cake when she woke up or when one of them wanted Natalie to stay with her during the night for a couple of times. They feel safe around her, and vice versa.
“We’re not that young, too, Dan. It’s completely normal.”
“Thirties aren’t that old.” I protested.
“Old enough to forget some things.” She pinched out my cheeks as I went to give her a peck on her cheeks, creating soft laughter that echoed throughout the room. I haven’t heard this laugh for a couple of weeks, but damn, I was lucky to be able to listen to this from time to time — and not hide it anymore.
“So… tell me.” I
“How do I end up here?”
I nodded. We talked on the phone in the morning — mainly about her plan and what time I would clock out, and she didn’t mention her plans for coming to London.
“I came to help you move your things.”
“I didn’t have much.” I looked around my office, and there was only a box of it. I know that I won’t be staying here forever, so I didn’t put much into the office, and most of the time, I was traveling and having meetings somewhere else, so there weren’t many of my things here.
“Still, I wanted to help you out… besides, we can go for a walk, too — if you’re not too tired.”
I laughed. “Never.” Not even once. I’d never passed these opportunities.
She turned her head to me as we both locked our gaze, “I would never say no to you.”
“That’s such a lie!”
I arched my eyebrows, “Why do you think I was lying to you?”
“You said no when I told you I wanted to stop by your place.” She really brought this up whenever she wanted to win over me. But it won’t be fun if I give in the moment she says that.
“You’re going to bring this up whenever you can, right?” A mischievous grin appeared as I couldn’t resist teasing her a little bit more for today.
“Of course I will!” She stated.
My fingers lightly caressed her hair as I gave her a gentle pat. “You worked till late that day. Of course, I said no, I should be the one who come to you.”
“You were tired too.”
“If it comes to you, I never got tired — ever. It’s all gone.”
I hid my feelings for her for years, and getting tired of her has never even crossed my head — not even the slightest.
“But still…”
“I would’ve let you come if you didn’t work till late,” I explained to her the reason why I didn’t want her to come to my place at night. I was in Monaco and wasn’t busy that night, so I should be the one who came to her, and even when I was busy, I would send someone to drive her to my place. That is what I would do.
“This isn’t good.”
“What do you mean?”
“I might get lazy and tell you to come to me all the time if you always did this.”
“Do it, then.” I challenged her. It doesn’t matter if she was across the country or even the ocean. I’d come to her the minute she asked me to, and I would do that without hesitation — without even the slightest doubt.
“What if you were in the middle of something important?”
“I’d try to wrap it up as soon as I could, and if it were an emergency — meaning you were in labor or any other essential life or death situation, I’d dropped everything right away,” I explained.
A gentle smile appeared on her lips, spreading its warmth across her face as her cheeks turned into the color of her lipsticks, beige underground — the color of the YSL lipstick she bought when we went to Paris after new year’s Eve.
“Good answer.”
The only right answer, and I know Natalie would understand what I was saying — she’d do the same thing if she were in my shoes. I have responsibilities — huge enough to put the company and the workers’ lives at stake, and if it was an emergency, I’d dropped everything for her. Surely the people I met with would understand that too, and if they didn’t understand, it means that we aren’t compatible to work together — I’d rather lose that kind of business deal than Natalie.
Elle est tout pour moi, j’en ai rien à foutre du reste.
