随着时代变迁，上海越来越多的新婚夫妇选择与新娘的父母同住，而非遵循传统与新郎父母同住。这种变化反映了年轻一代对于独立性和经济考虑的新看法。
Husbands feel at home with parents of partnersThe traditional idea of the bride moving in with the bridegroom's parents seems to be on the wane. In modern day Shanghai, the opposite seems just as likely.
Miao Qing
Shanghai_Delta
page01 2006-11-24
The traditional idea of the bride moving in with the bridegroom's parents seems to be on the wane. In modern day Shanghai, the opposite seems just as likely.
Before moving into his wife's family home earlier this year, Li Feng had felt worried about what life with his in-laws would bring.
The thirtysomething civil servant, whose hometown is outside Shanghai, had not found a house in the city before he married his Shanghainese wife.
"I thought of renting a big apartment because I feared I would lose my independence living with her family," said Li. "But my wife and her parents insisted that living together would be a better option. It is certainly more convenient, and it helps save money. Plus their house is big enough for the four of us to get along."
Now Li says he is living the happy life with his wife and the two elders,and feels far less pressured to buy a new home.
Like Li, more and more newlywed couples in Shanghai have accepted the idea of life with the parents of the bride, an idea which seems contrary with the past. To move into the bride's family home was long regarded as a sign of weakness on the groom's behalf. It suggested either an incompetence of the husband or an inequality in the couple's family background.
"It still sounds a bit strange when young people get married but continue to live with their parents,especially with their wife's parents,"said Li. "Many men think it's a dent to their dignity and independence if they move into their wife's family home. More often than not they would prefer to bring their wives into their own family home."
But the young, modern generation of Shanghai seem to be slowly abandoning this traditional viewpoint.More and more couples seek to fi nd the correct choice between support and care from their respective family homes.
Since his son was born, Huang Wei has been living with his in-laws for nearly four years. An entrepreneur of a local IT company, Huang says he now enjoys living in such a "big" household.
Neither he or his wife are Shanghai natives, but have settled in the city for the time being. "My parents-in-law fi rst came to Shanghai mainly to take care of our newbaby, as both my wife and I had to work in the daytime,"Huang said. "But they eventually decided to stay here because we came to realize that we all need each other and can take care of each other much better this way."
His wife is especially pleased about their choice of family surrounding."It was apparent that the relationship between my husband and my parents would be much easier than the relationship between me and his parents," she said. "My parents are a great help in looking after our son, and I think we will try to keep hold of our three-generation unit for a long time."
For some, however, life with the parents seems more like a smart business move than a question of choice.Zhou Bo and his girlfriend bought an apartment in Shanghai two years ago, yet continue to live with the girl's parents.
"We bought the new house with a bank loan and then lent it to someone else," said Zhou. "Thisway we could receive a regular income to pay back the loan. Living
with my would-be in-laws not only reduces our basic living costs but also helps us to keep a house with much less money."
But it is not only the young who are open to this new idea. Many elders in Shanghai also encourage their married children to remain with them, simply because most of them have only the one child, due to China's family planning policy. To live with their children's family makes them feel less lonely, and brings them much closer to their grand-children.
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