第31页

Loss in all of its manifestations is the touchstone of depression -- in the progress of the disease and, most likely, in its origin. At a later date I would gradually be persuaded that devastating loss in childhood figured as a probable genesis of my own disorder; meanwhile, as I monitored my retrograde condition, I felt loss at every hand.
One dreads the loss of all things, all people close and dear. There is an acute fear of abandonment. Being alone in the house, even for a moment, caused me exquisite panic and trepidation.
The acute sense of loss is connected with a knowledge of life slipping away at accelerated speed.
p34
When we endure severe discomfort of a physical nature our conditioning has taught us since childhood to make accommodations to the pain's demands -- to accept it, whether pluckily or whimpering and complaining, according to our personal degree of stoicism, but in any case to accpet it.
In depression this faith in deliverance, in ultimate restoration, is absent. The pain is unrelenting, and what makes the condition intolerable is the foreknowledge that no remedy will come -- not in a day, an hour, a month, or a minute. If there is mild relief, one knows that it is only temporary; more pain will follow.
p35 真实揭露 准确 想哭
However, the sufferer from depression has no such option and therefore finds himself, like a walking casualty of war, thrust into the most intolerable social and family situations. THere he must, despite hte anguish devouring his brain, present a face approximating the one that is associated with ordinary events and companionship. He must try to utter small talk, and be responsive to questions, and knowingly nod and frown and, God help him, even smile. But it is a fierce trial attempting to speak a few simple words.