After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is "like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair," has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him: "That woman was sexy. . . . Ou...
After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is "like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair," has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him: "That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them." "Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking." "The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two." More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern's philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes. An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny's, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh*t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.
So like any six-year-old who doesn't want to do something, I faked being sick, which attracted a lot more attention to me. Upon hearing that I wasn't feeling well, My aunts hurried me down the carpeted hallway to my parents' room and burst into it like it was an episode of ER (查看原文)
I had no problem with you crying. My only concern was with the snot that was coming out of your nose. Where does that go? On your hands, your shirt? That's no good. Oh, Jesus, don't start cryting. (查看原文)
妥妥是亲爹=v= You thought it was hard? If kindergarten is busting your ass, I got some bad news for you about the rest of life.果然我的悲剧淫生从幼儿园就开始了╮(╯_╰)╭又是医生又当过navy又满口Jesus fucking Christ又教娃写功课，这是多矛盾的存在……都不像真...妥妥是亲爹=v= You thought it was hard? If kindergarten is busting your ass, I got some bad news for you about the rest of life.果然我的悲剧淫生从幼儿园就开始了╮(╯_╰)╭又是医生又当过navy又满口Jesus fucking Christ又教娃写功课，这是多矛盾的存在……都不像真的了。(展开)
From the beginning till the end, there are words all over the pages such as f**k, hell, shit, go**amn, etc. But if you think this book is about a load of crap spat out by a father, then you are terribly wrong. It’s a collection of a variety of subjects on ...
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一时手痒。摘了几句老爹金句。有机会写写自己的感想，先欠在这儿:) On My Response to Having My Tires Slashed “Oh, don’t go to the goddamned cops. They’re busy with real shit. I don’t want my tax dollars going to figuring out who thinks you’re an asshole....
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芝麻小元宵
Boxtree2010版
很低调的magic
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后知后觉的伦
湖南文艺出版社2012版
磁力振子
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Z
Tuscany
湖南文艺出版社2012版
0 有用 Cyder 2014-02-08 17:37:14
生活琐事，家庭幽默，一个外表严厉内心坚强但带着些许温柔的父亲如何教育儿子！
0 有用 Fornever 2011-07-22 21:18:37
温暖有趣，但没有剧里的段子那么直击要害
0 有用 熊類爆弾 2011-03-06 01:20:03
骯髒笑話集。
0 有用 太白兔 2014-09-13 00:43:51
妥妥是亲爹=v= You thought it was hard? If kindergarten is busting your ass, I got some bad news for you about the rest of life.果然我的悲剧淫生从幼儿园就开始了╮(╯_╰)╭又是医生又当过navy又满口Jesus fucking Christ又教娃写功课，这是多矛盾的存在……都不像真... 妥妥是亲爹=v= You thought it was hard? If kindergarten is busting your ass, I got some bad news for you about the rest of life.果然我的悲剧淫生从幼儿园就开始了╮(╯_╰)╭又是医生又当过navy又满口Jesus fucking Christ又教娃写功课，这是多矛盾的存在……都不像真的了。 (展开)
0 有用 程不成 2010-11-28 15:59:25
轻松有趣，适合任何时候阅读。太快乐啦~~~~~哇吼吼吼吼 Jesus fucking christ!!!