The Starting Place
At the age of 11, I was wisked off by police after hiding in a friends closet after running away from a situation that I knew in my young mind was not where I wanted to be.
Both parents had decided that their need for love was just as important as anything else and I found myself in a turmoil of resentment, frustration and judgement at having to quickly learn how to be street smart.
Soon after being picked up, I was under lock and key at a drug rehab, undergoing intense psychotherapy and having to clean dumpsters because I used the “F” word one too many times after being there for almost a year with no visitation.
It wasn’t so bad to be put into that facility considering, I hadn’t used drugs, or committed any crimes. I did get to spend my weekends at Hesters listening to Pink Floyd’s The Wall after all.
Long story short, although my life seemed to twist and turn much of the same ways it did for my kin, I was fortunate enough to not make the same decisions when it came to re-marriage and figuring out greater lessons that would propel me to take a deeper look at my own faulty decisions that I beg will not affect my own child.
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The choices we make once we are old enough to fully understand how systems and societies work pile up and ultimately decide your fate down the road.
I have experienced some twists and turns in life that involved having to make the right decisions in a flash moment and have chosen incorrectly to my own detriment and to the detriment of others.
When I look at my child, I see the effects of my poor decisions and instead of feeling helpless to stop it, I look to the people who are in my life and suddenly I am surrounded by people who actually care about the same things.
Falling down and getting back up is always part of life. But learning how to not fall down in the first place starts with us as parents.
Knowing what I know, the starting place is you and how you handle the twists and turns sets you up for years down the road.
When faced with choices good and bad, may you always choose the ones that lift you and everyone around you up so that your children will never know what it feels like to question whether they are loved.
