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176 pages, Hardcover
First published April 2, 2024
You belong to the world, animal. Deal with it.
what I am looking for doesn't matter.
that I am looking doesn't matter.
I exert no meaning.
[..]At first, I thought
the eagle was watching me. Then I realized the
eagle was my life watching me. The distance between my
life and myself had become too far. Because of my
desire to find a way out of my life.[..]
[..]Step
over the snake instead, realize
both living and dying require giving up.
[..]i turn
to the trees for relief & they say nah!
don't look at us. you don't even know our names.
you don't even know the difference between
an oak tree & a maple tree. It's true:
my relationship with (love) (nature) (money)
(fill in the blank) is like my relationship to weather -
I only see it when it's pouring on my head.
LETTERS
Rain has eaten 1/4 of me
yet I believe
against all evidence
these raindrops
are my letters of recommendation
here is a man worth falling on.
What's the point, now,
of crying, when you've cried
already, he said, as if he'd
never thought, or been told -
and perhaps he hadn't-
Write down something
that doesn't have to matter,
that still matters,
to you. [..]
She's almost two. I'm seventy-five.
I won't be here when the worst
of what's coming comes. I think about it
and then I try not to think about it.
And then I try to think
because if we don't- but I can hardly grasp it.
[..] but it is like me to imagine the spider
believes itself a failure what with its dance from corner to
corner
its web eclipsing more & more of the woodwork with each passing day
& still nothing to show for it but another night of tearing down
& rebuilding & another mornign of light stumbling into a window laughing
at the barren web which is a plea a moan a disaster of a lonely maze
[..]
I make the bed in the mornings now every day
it looks like new again like no one has ever been in it