GETTING OVER IT….
-with Bhoovi Chauhan
All our life we run away from our disappointments and fears. We try to avoid it as much as we can. We turn our faces to the dark side of our story just to avoid being hurt. But do we realize that we are already hurt by the one who caused that disappointment?
Disappointment is the biggest fear in anybody’s life, the biggest worry, the biggest cause, the biggest disappointment! Almost everything that we do is to avoid that disappointment. Disappointment for letting someone down, disappointment for hurting, disappointment for failure.
It is the root of all the cause and it is the cause itself. But what is the cause of disappointment?
Expectations.
Expectations lead to disappointment. We expect many things from many people, even when we don’t want to, ‘cause we just cannot help it. It is so deeply rooted in us to expect things from people who are close to us that we cannot avoid even if we want to. This building up of expectations and shortage of efforts to fulfill it, causes disappointment.
Getting over disappointment
Something we all want to do, but don’t know how.
It isn’t one hour process. It requires weeks and months of efforts.
The very first step is to figure out the cause of your disappointment. Is it a self generated disappointment or is it someone else’s affecting you?
Once you figure that out, move to the next step, that is to think of ways to lessen this sadness. If it is a self-generated disappointment, work on yourself. Make yourself believe that you are worthy of yourself. If it is someone else’s disappointment in you, ask yourself if it was enough. If you haven’t done enough to prove it yet, start doing it already. Try till the point you feel totally exhausted and worn out. Stop. Ask yourself, “ Was it enough? Is this my best? Does this make me fulfilled?” If your answer is a no, get up, get back to it until your ‘No’ changes to a ‘Yes’. Now, do you feel done? Do you feel you’ve tried all ways possible to make it happen? Do you feel this is the last of every bit you can do? The answer will be a yes. Now wait for the results.
Did it work out? NO? Again?
Relax for a while. Give yourself some time and air to sit and think about all that just happened. Analyze the scenarios. READ IT AGAIN. I said, “Analyze the scenarios, not overthink”.
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Now you must be thinking, “What’s the difference between analyzing and overthinking? How would you know?”
Analyzing involves examining every aspect of something to find out vulnerabilities, loopholes or lack of something.
Overthinking is self-doubt. It is just over analyzing of thoughts. When you’ve analyzed things properly, you start thinking about why they didn’t work out. And you end up self — doubting. That, is overthinking.
Coming back to my point, analyze the scenarios, see what went wrong and see if you can fix it. After all of this exhaustion of thinking and re-thinking, you suddenly start to feel satisfied.
Now that you’ve analyzed the situation in every way, you’ve acknowledged yourself of all the efforts you made, you’ve made yourself believe of all the chances you took to make it work and it didn’t work out, that it’s not your fault. Now you know and believe that you did everything in your power and that there’s nothing more you can do about it.
Do you get it? How we are clearing our self doubt slowly?
As you move further in this process, you’ll reach a point where you will feel done with it. That. That is the perfect point for getting past your disappointment. Now that you don’t have any regrets about the past, you will start focusing on the future. Instead of crying over what happened, you will see what is coming. You will start accepting the situation. you will start accepting yourself and rather try to make your fore coming days better, than to dwell in the past.
And this, my dear friend, is how you get over the disappointment.
