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Emptiness
A chapter of a yet to be published book, “Never Say Never — When a Dad Stays Home”
When are you going to take responsibility?
This big question looms large in my head, again and again and again.
When I’m on a roll, in the evening, I prepare myself, follow the best productivity instructions to make a plan the night before to make immediate execution a walk in the park.
This tactic works once in a while. But then after the first successful day, I say let’s repeat.
I hit a wall.
When I make my plan again, I end up leaving the core hours empty, hoping that inspiration will come the next day to fill them.
Then I simply end up doing nothing, since nothing is written.
I can’t seem to bring myself to fill them or to do anything during that time.
I freeze.
Sleep, Wake, Repeat
The next morning, I wait until I’m alone at home.
Then I’m often hungry, so I busy myself with preparing something to sate my appetite.
I sit down and eat my fill, then say now it’s time to work, but a nagging feeling at the back of my mind tells me that I still haven’t made up the beds, I still haven’t tidied up the house, I still haven’t gone shopping. What…
