Stutter

by Laryssa Okada

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1.
Limbo 02:21
Your email finds me untethered, in a listless state How have I been? Surviving in a caustic landscape A tepid rain with songs sung by cicadas I revisit comforts tender with time “A scattered dream that's like a far off memory” Third law cries out, all that we know of the divine Limbo (limbo, limbo) Floating in limbo Bounded by science, the chemicals shift After all of these straws, the horrors persist Just how long till the gears reset At what point does this limbo end Just how long till the gears reset (Floating in limbo) At what point does this limbo end
2.
Burnout 02:33
Sure that you lost it Fell right out of pocket You were always wondrous to behold ‘A gifted child’ Time couldn’t have stopped it It’s all that you wanted Is this what it feels like to lose control? You’ll make it through The burnout Familiar carpet Right back where I started Everything is smaller than it was A faded shadow Should I be blaming my target? Or the ones who had sold it? Tell me, was it my fault? Take it back, take it Even if I lost hope Take me back, take me Why did you lead me to the end of my rope? Take it back, take it Even if I lost hope Take me back, take me Why did you lead-
3.
kirakira✩ 03:11
時々散歩すると見逃して | Sometimes when I take a walk いたものが見つかる | I find things I had missed Walk a slower gait Had to learn that the hard way I’m grateful though, mm Wouldn’t have known that flowers can bloom where the moonlight glows See your face in the crowd ヤッホー! | Yoohoo! Chaos dims all around 君にこの声が届きますように | I hope this voice will reach you 爆発する感情 | Exploding feelings 振り返らないで | Don't look back 手が触れる | Hands touch 手をつないで | Hand in hand Fiending for harbor at light 終わりのない物語 | Story with no end 手が触れる | Hands touch Made a home with you! 晴れのはずが | it was supposed to be sunny 予報はずれ雨 | But the forecast was wrong and it rained 雨宿りをすれば it's all okay | Took shelter from the rain and it's all okay Had to learn that the hard way We break, we grow 金継ぎ (Kintsugi)) lines rooted who we are today So when I See your face in the crowd ヤッホー! | Yoohoo! Chaos dims all around 君にこの声が届きますように | I hope this voice will reach you 爆発する感情 | exploding feelings 振り返らないで | don't look back キラキラ!☆ | Sparkling 手が触れる | Hands touch 手をつないで | Hand in hand キラキラ!☆ | Sparkling Fiending for harbor at light 終わりのない物語 | Story with no end 手が触れる | Hands touch Made a home with you! 愛してる | I love you やっと言えるよ | I can finally say it 同じ大地に | In the same place 根を張って | Let's put down roots 花を咲かそう | Let flowers bloom Just let me know キラキラ!☆ like the way it feels With you With you
4.
🅢🅗🅞🅟!🅦🅐🅛🅚!🅣🅐🅛🅚!
5.
Soulcrushed 03:54
Ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh Cause why would you be any different Despite all the press? Had us in a chokehold Altitude rising, catastrophic bluff What a mess Pressure in the atmosphere, said to be soulcrushed Got me feelin out of space Cause why would you be any different Despite all the press? Made your bed Deep breath in, no going back The lever's pulled, your glamour's cracked Ivory chambered solitude 届かない警告 | Warnings unheeded Hope fell short, but what's new? Cause why would you be any different Despite all the press? Had us in a chokehold Altitude rising, catastrophic bluff What a mess Pressure in the atmosphere, said to be soulcrushed Got me feelin out of space Cause why would you be any different Despite all the press? Made your bed Symptom of the greener dream Revolving doors of hands unclean Islands of stolen solitude 届かない警告 | Warnings unheeded Hope fell short, but what's new? Cause why would you be any different Despite all the press? Brain activity race Altitude rising, catastrophic bluff What a mess Modernity sets the pace Pressure in the atmosphere, said to be soulcrushed We forged myths we foresaw Cause why would you be any different Despite all the press?
6.
7.
分かった、悲しいのは | I get it, it’s sad 赤い目 に導かれて | Led by red eyes 分かった、悲寂しいのは | I get it, it’s lonely 雨空 に導かれて | Led by rainy skies 馬の耳に念仏 | Praying into a horse's ear 馬の耳に念仏 | Praying into a horse's ear So call me when you get home I know this one’s solo mode 別の福音からの教訓 | Lessons from another gospel So call me when you get home Seedlings in the breeze Know not where they’ll land Come what may I know you’re hurting friend, Take your time The floods will subside 分かった、(I get it) 悲しいのは | I get it, it’s sad Through the sadness 赤い目 に導かれて | Led by red eyes Driven to madness 分かった、悲寂しいのは | I get it, it’s lonely A loneliness pours out 雨空 に導かれて | Led by rainy skies 馬の耳に念仏 | Praying into a horse's ear 馬の耳に念仏 | Praying into a horse's ear So call me when you get home I know this one’s solo mode 別の福音からの教訓 | Lessons from another gospel So call me when you get home!
8.
Sacred 02:59
Spoke with a stare A soul laid bare Don't look this way Babygirl you glisten bright, bright You're sacred in your own right 触れた 頬は濡れていて | When I touched her cheek, ポツリ、| It was wet, "It's okay to cry" 飲まれる | Engrossed in those 無邪気な瞳 | Innocent eyes 心に刻み付けて | Engraved in my heart Spoke with a stare A soul laid bare Don't look this way Babygirl you glisten bright, bright You're sacred in your own right 鏡 | Mirror 自分自身を見た | I saw myself with my own eyes 魔境 See through the lie Stowed away A sense of who I could be (could feel, so free) 強い意志 | A strong will 心に刻み付けて | Engraved in my heart 鼓動音が二つ | Two heartbeats, 絶望、手探り (手探り) | Despair, groping 夜空、灯火 | The night sky, the light, 照らし合わせば | In comparison Spoke with a stare A soul laid bare Don't look this way (my way, my way, my way) Babygirl you glisten bright, bright You're sacred in your own right
9.
I won’t lie, I’m scared of ending up alone What is a life without a best friend to call your own? Girl deflate, take a break Don’t catastrophize day to day Here beside you now I write to you I send my letter to yesterday Postmarked intuition, always a step ahead Today I’ll face my disposition! "Don’t let it pass you by" Making the memories in real time "You’ve gotta let fear subside” What a strange old feeling Invariably known yet unsaid I’m floating thousands of miles Anxiously stuck in my head I send my letter to yesterday Postmarked intuition, always a step ahead (today’s the day) Today I’ll face my disposition! Don’t let it pass you by Making the memories For right now I’m by your side Savor the moment Don’t wanna lose focus What lies in store is a life to explore And all that we have to do is Live! Woke up in a sweat, catch your breath Future me sent a letter, afraid I’d forget Won’t let it pass me by For now and always I’m by your side
10.
Stutter 03:19
Blue light, 真夜中メール | Blue light, midnight email 返信 | Reply Too late, 送られちゃった | Too late, already sent 既読 | Read Friendly, but keeping a little space 嫌いにならないで | Don't hate me ファントム ポッケに vibration | Phantom, vibration in my pocket これは。。。| This is... 重症 | Severe ちょっと待って | Wait a minute Blue light, 真夜中メール | Blue light, midnight email 返信 | Reply Too late, 送られちゃった | Too late, already sent A cybernetic retrograde Stutter through Refresh rate, reload, rewrite Nervous to communicate Overwhelmed by what we can't undo Solid state to manic Enough of this lately Refresh rate, reload, rewrite Can't undo Stutter through, undo Leave it behind A cybernetic retrograde Stutter through Refresh rate, reload, rewrite Nervous to communicate Overwhelmed by what we can't undo 不確実な未来 | An uncertain future 青い空を見上げたい | I want to look up towards the blue sky All too familiar 携帯みたい | Like a cellphone 話をしてください | Tell me a story One where the people lived outside What was it like? Blue light, 真夜中メール | Blue light, midnight email 返信 | Reply Too late, 送られちゃった | Too late, already sent 既読 | Read Friendly, but keeping a little space 嫌いにならないで | Don't hate me If I took just a little time to unplug リセットしないと | I have to reset リアルでは | Real world 会いたい | I want to see you
11.
Yuzu 05:30
日脚 | In summer heat 伸びる夏至 | Growing summer solstice 不快とげ | An unpleasant thorn 形付く | Had taken shape 思いが | A thought 流れた、ごめん | Had come to pass, I'm sorry きみだけ | There's only you Oh will things stay the same Even as the seasons change? Won't think that far, just here and now The memories 君の笑顔 | Your smile Autumn breeze Blooming yuzu tree Sweet like candy The space we claim Never knew that Things could be real like this Here safe with you (never knew) (here with you) Through everything I've felt the wind at my back with you by my side Do you remember the time that we had in that september when you held my hand? 空が雲を突破するように | Like sky breaking through clouds
12.
夜空の船にのっている | I'm on a ship in the night sky 星の中に | Inside the stars Alas, here we go 今度は今度。今は今. | Next time is next time. Now is now. 一期一会 | "In this moment, an opportunity" Hidden away, like it's obfuscated Life enduring However ruined this world 迎えに行くから | I'm coming to pick you up 光放ってて | so shine your light 十分 ETA | 10 minute ETA Got lost down a wistful lane I hesitated But I know if I hold on We'll find a way Sanctuary's still a ways away Alas, here we go But I know if I hold on We'll find a way Sanctuary's still a ways away Alas, here we go 溺れそうでも豪雨に耐え | Even though we were drowning 予報の余地もなく| We endured the torrential rain 灯台目掛け | Without any warning ひたすら帆をはり| Aimed for the lighthouse 二人で作り上げて来た | And set sail 地図に記し付け | Marking it on the map that we had made together 迎えに行くから | I'm coming to pick you up 光放ってて | So shine your light (So shine your light, I'm only 10 minutes out) 十分 ETA | 10 minute ETA Got lost down a wistful lane I know I hesitated I get so scared of what's to come But I know if I hold on We'll find a way Sanctuary's still a ways away Alas, here we go But I know if I hold on We'll find a way Sanctuary's still a ways away Alas, here we go But I know if I hold on We'll find a way Sanctuary's still a ways away Alas, here we go But I know if I hold on We'll find a way Sanctuary's still a ways away Alas, here we go

about

if you'll indulge a moment of my sincerity,

been in a weird place this past year. i think a lot of us have been. there's so much day to day injustice and vitriol that it can feel immaterial to take the time to create art, but i know in my heart that's not true.

for me, writing has always been divided into two camps: my work for games, which is very intentional and calculated; and writing personal music, which has always been a strange, vulnerable, and unknowable thing. it's often been my way of having conversations with myself about the things that live heavy on my mind.

i think stutter is my musical cry about the caustic landscape we live in. it's about finding your way back from a listless feeling of defeat and burnout; appreciating the people we have in our lives and the time that we have with them, even if we're tormented with the fear of one day losing them. it's about the battles we and our loved ones face, sometimes in private, and sometimes together. and how, at the end of the day, we must simply say: alas, here we go!

credits

released September 26, 2025

all songs written & produced & sung by Laryssa Okada
all songs mixed & mastered by Nick Calapine
lyrics written in collaboration with REN on burnout, kirakira, soulcrushed, sacred, stutter, and alas here we go
album artwork by cherry✟ (aletiune) in collaboration with Sasha E Head on visual/graphic design

instrumentalists on burnout -
guitars by Alex Abraham
drums by Aaron Kiser
bass by Paxson Helgesen

alas, here we go was written with the help of Throno Crigger: thronocrigger.bandcamp.com
vocalists on Alas, here we go (feat. Throno Crigger) -
Angelina Park, Brad Backofen, D'anthoni Wooten, Gaby Pulcinelli, Gisula, Marly Koven, Nadia Wheaton, Paxson Helgesen, Plusol, and Taylor Beebe

license

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