after week 8 burner rankings
welcome back to the burner blog. i am just a normal guy who watches a ton of sports, i have a lot of takes and just looking for a place to let those takes get out there. i am not going to use capital letters so if you don’t like that i do not care.
last week i had chatgpt write this for me and it made us realize two things. chatgpt doesn’t know ball, and we are all cooked. that computer spat out my blog in about 10 seconds. something that takes a ton of thought and care each week was pumped out in mere seconds. luckily, for us ball knowers, chatgpt will never replace us. chatgpt simply doesn’t know ball.
this was a huge week for college football. a few teams separated themselves, a few teams announced themselves as frauds, and one of us (definitely not me) is going to retire from gambling.
- ohio state (last week — 1)
they went half speed and beat wisconsin (putrid team) 34–0. julian sayin had really impressive numbers on the day. it almost felt like ryan day was trying to get him some numbers to get him fully into the heisman conversation (they were still throwing it in the 4th quarter). if it wasn’t that, maybe they were just trying new stuff because this game was a glorified practice for the buckeyes. after seeing wisconsin in person last week, i didn’t expect them to score a single point on this ohio state defense. they didn’t.
2. indiana (last week — 3)
i don’t think indiana even tried and won by 25. i really did question myself by having the hoosiers at 2. i don’t think anyone else deserves the spot more. cignetti is an elite coach. do i think they can win the national championship? no. probably not. they don’t qualify for the blue chip ratio and every team that has won a championship since it has been tracked was a qualifier. also, have to give a huge credit to cignetti for using penn state as a massive leverage play in record time. he clearly wanted to stay at indiana and became the 3rd highest paid coach in the sport in less than 100 hours. the job opened sunday and he had his extension by thursday. also have to give a lot of credit to indiana. did they just decide they are a football school now because basketball has been irrelevant for over a decade? probably.
3. alabama (last week — 4)
kalen (not kaleb, like chatgpt thought) deboer was put on the hot seat after a week 1 loss. now he’s got 4 straight wins over ranked teams and is very clearly a national championship contender. ty simpson is really really really good. if they can avoid a major letdown loss, they will be back in the playoff with a real shot to win it. they completely handled tennessee. tennessee is also a good team. overall a really impressive win.
4. oregon (last week — 7)
they scored 42 points in the first half. i don’t care that they played rutgers. they still scored 42 points in the first half. impressive! i may drop them down next week if they don’t shut out wisconsin. wisconsin hasn’t scored in two weeks and i think at this point if you don’t shut them out, you might not be very good.
5. georgia (last week — 5)
they beat a good ole miss team but they definitely have a problem on the defensive side of the ball. i’m not going to doubt kirby smart otherwise he will use my blogs as bulletin board material and we don’t want that. they simply couldn’t get a stop. sure, lane kiffin is a great offensive coach and his team isn’t bad. but the downfall of this georgia team might be the defense. they did end up getting the stops they needed to win the game, so you have to believe it’s in there for them.
6. miami (last week — 2)
carson beck played like complete dogshit. horrible. horrendous. horrific. i can’t think of any other words that start with horr and describe how awful he played. it was that bad. AND THEY STILL HAD A CHANCE. i still think they’re the best team in the acc. obviously it’s concerning to have flashes of 2024 carson beck, but i’m going to trust it gets turned around and we get more of the 2025 version that was elite to start the year. he’s allowed one bad game. we have to remember he’s just a kid.
we also have to remember, i live bet them (5 units) -2.5 on the last drive and he immediately threw a pick and they lost. kill me.
7. notre dame (last week — 10)
yes. i’m serious. i think they’re all the way back. there isn’t another loss on their schedule. they should have beaten texas a&m. they are going to make the playoff and they’re going to compete for it once again. i think lincoln riley has finally put together a pretty solid squad at usc and notre dame handled em. sure, the score was a little close. c.j. carr threw the worst interception of all time to end the half and it made usc look like they had a shot. they didn’t.
the only thing that could hold notre dame back at this point is the potential distraction of the penn state job. if the reports are true that they are targeting freeman and there is mutual interest, that is the only thing that stops them from going 10–2.
8. texas a&m (last week — 6)
they let arkansas hang around. that’s not how you move up in the #burnerrankings. the fact that they let arkansas score 42 points is pretty embarrassing. if you’re supposed to be a real contender you can’t let that happen. they’re still undefeated and have a fake win over notre dame but i am not trusting them at all to be a lock for the playoff just yet. their remaining schedule keeps getting easier because both lsu and texas are NOT GOOD.
9. texas tech (last week — 8)
Get burner605’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
they lost a road game to a solid team with their backup quarterback. it’s hard to knock them for that. they looked dead in the water and fought back to take the lead late which impressed me. i hate giving teams credit for almost winning, but given the circumstances, it was good to see from them. i still think they’re the best team in the big 12 and they’ll have more chances to prove it once morton comes back.
10. ole miss (last week — 12)
‘how can a team lose a game and move up 2 spots?’ because i said so. i probably had them too low after an awful performance against washington state (well coached team) in a look ahead spot last week. losing on the road at georgia is just something everyone (besides alabama) does so i’m not going to kill them for that loss. i also think they have a VERY manageable remaining schedule. they have a higher chance to make the playoff than some teams that are better than them.
also, lane would absolutely crush it at florida, right?
11. vanderbilt (last week — unranked)
i truly never thought i’d see the day that i ranked the commodores. credit to clark lea. they are actually good. diego pavia the heisman contender? what in the new mexico is going on in college football?! they were just flat out better than lsu. more physical. tougher. just overall better. their schedule is tough, so they have a lot of work to do before they can really be excited.
i have to imagine that somewhere, jay cutler is reading the #burnerrankings and is very proud of his alma mater.
12. anybody who wants it
we are at the point in the season where i’m asking someone to step up. i’m asking a team to say ‘hey burner, we’re good. rank us.’
there are a few teams i will mention later that just simply don’t want it bad enough. i am challenging those teams. maybe if they do enough, maybe if they’re hungry they can see themselves in this spot (or higher) next week.
non power 5 team:
if/when usf beats memphis they’re going to be the team i fully expect to get the pity at large spot. i hate that we have to include a non power conference team, we all saw how that went last year and will continue to go moving forward.
honorable mentions/monitoring:
georgia tech — you can’t just expect me to rank you after what i watched against duke right? i bet on georgia tech so i was glad to see the outcome. but they simply got out played by duke for 4 quarters. i actually still don’t even know how they won the game. maybe that’s a sign of a good team. maybe they’re just really really good. they can get out played and still cover spreads. georgia tech was handed a college football playoff spot on a silver platter because clemson sucks this year. can they take full advantage of that opportunity? or will they get outplayed by an inferior team again but lose?
missouri — i probably needed to mention them sooner. they’re a good team. it was an ugly win against a horrible auburn team in overtime so i am not ready to give them the nod yet. they’re going to need to do more to impress me. almost beating alabama (they really didn’t almost beat them, but the score was close) and barely beating jackson arnold (ass) is not going to get you ranked.
byu — they have a great opportunity. they’re undefeated. they play in a winnable league. i just can’t quite take them seriously yet because their quarterback is #47.
oklahoma — you had a chance. fortunately for you chatgpt wrote the blog last week and i didn’t get to call you an overrated fraud for losing to arch manning (ass). i wasn’t impressed with a win over south carolina (i actually ranked them earlier this season and am still embarrassed).
there are a lot of other teams that technically still have a path to the cfp and i don’t have enough time to talk about every single one of them. so i won’t.
i mentioned earlier that someone will be retiring from gambling.
i went 9–20 this weekend on college football. i even had to deposit into the account to get through saturday. what an absolute disaster. 78–93–5 on the season now. the miami loss shouldn’ve been the sign that i should take it easy this weekend. maybe not bet on as many games. but no, i just kept digging the hole deeper.
retiring is sometimes a really good thing.
BUT IT IS NOT MY TIME YET.
i have still SUCKED. but thanks to cam skattebo anytime touchdown (+125) today, we got back to even on the year. it was a massive win. it was an aggressive play. if he didn’t score today? maybe i would’ve retired (retire = i would’ve taken friday night and the noon slate saturday off). is it a problem? no. we gamble responsibly here on the #burnerblog
thanks for reading this edition of the #burnerrankings.
