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Medication Rant
Schizoaffective little helpers
It’s a quarter to 5 on Saturday afternoon. I’ve had a good day and would like to continue with my day at least until 9 or 10 pm. But I can’t. You see I have a mental illness, schizoaffective disorder, and the affects of yesterday’s previous dose of risperidone and lexapro are wearing off. The risperidone is an antipsychotic and it keeps me from being delusional and parinoid. The lexapro is an anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication, it keeps me from wanting to kill myself and going into a deep pit of despair.
As the medication from yesterday wears off I find myself getting agitated, suicidal, and paranoid. So, I need to take my meds to get rid of those symptoms but once I do my day is over, shortly after taking my anti-crazy pills, I will need to go to bed.
I try to fight it and stay up later but as the symptoms progress I just can’t deal with it and taking the medication becomes a necessity.
It is a burden I deal with nightly.
I don’t do things at night as I know what kind of shape I will be in and my medication and illness is a priority.
If I didn’t need to deal with this tonight I would crochet or take a ride to Goodwill, maybe go out to eat with a friend or a movie. But the schizoaffective tells me, “Eh, eh, ehhh you better give me those pills or there’s going to be hell to pay.”
So, I take them and dreamland comes. When morning arrives I am fine, “normal”, ready to seize the day…. until 5pm.
