Member-only story
Essay
How to (actually) shift your identity (and stop fighting yourself)
How I shifted my identity from a constant internal war to someone who takes action.
Have you ever wanted to do something so badly? But you just can’t do it. You have everything you need, all the time and the tools. And nothing, absolutely nothing, is stopping you from doing it. But you can’t do it. You think about doing it all the time, but you don’t do it.
The fight
At least I have. I have wanted to be a writer for as long as I can remember. And I think about it all the time. But sitting down to actually write is almost impossible sometimes. I want it so badly, and still a discomfort grows in me every time my hands touch the keys. I freeze up, and the fight inside my head begins between the me who wants to write and the resistance who don’t think I can. And my head wants to save me from that fight by drowning me in videos.
Ones that kept me alive when my internal war wanted me dead, and every discomfort gave fuel to those thoughts.
I am here on the other side because my mind protected me. In the only way she knew how, by drowning everything out.
