The Dating Game
Navigating the modern dating world often feels like participating in an elaborate game with lots of rules.
We are polluted with numerous tips from various sources that shape our approach to finding love. But do these tactics really help us connect with others, or make us suspicious of each other?
Every time I venture into dating, I hear the same advice:
- Don’t be too easy.
- Men like to hunt.
- It’s a seduction game.
- Make yourself available, but not too much.
- Don’t text him first.
- Don’t write long messages… ecc
“Men like to hunt.” Do I look like a wild boar to you?
We spend our time trying to be the winner in the dating game
You win if you don’t show your feelings too much
You win if you don’t write first after a date or ever
I once tried to follow these tips, but not only did I lose the connection with my dating partner and lose my mind, I also wasted a lot of energy during the process
How can all these strategies help you find someone who loves you for who you are?
Because I mean, Isn’t that the whole point of dating?
Instead of focusing on what we really want and committing ourselves to it We strive to fool the other person, hoping that by doing so, we’ll get what we desire
We spend our time lying, trying to impress, trying to be the dominant one,
all guided by our pride
In reality, there is no such thing as dominant or submissive in a healthy relationship.
What’s scary is the message that behind all this:
“No one will ever love you for who you really are,
You better hide your weaknesses”
Is that really the message we want to convey?
In this world, it is already difficult for men to show their feelings because
Real men don’t care
Or should pretend not to
And even in a relationship with women they love, they struggle to open up
How can we encourage such advice?
Get Ashem | In Progress’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
Aren’t we building walls where we should be building bridges?
Are we afraid of being alone, to the point where we are content to be with someone with whom we cannot be ourselves, for fear of not pleasing them?
When we let our fear guide us, we usually achieve nothing
And don’t tell me times have changed, the roads are no longer safe for love
Don’t tell me I am a utopian
“If someone can’t tap into their heart, they can’t tap into yours.”
A utopia is a call to action
We all want to love and be loved.
But love is an energy…
We cannot attract love with fear
We only attract love with love
One thing I have learned from Mark Manson’s “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” is to not give a f*ck about what doesn’t really matter and to focus your attention, energy, and time on what truly does.”
Love should not be a game…
A conscious search for a partner requires staying true to yourself.
In line with the values and beliefs you want to convey,
So that the other person knows what you are looking for
Don’t compromise yourself because you want to be with someone
https://youtu.be/vxTN4eX4Vss?si=tzGYQGhR6x6tCTju
When the movie “Think like a man” came out, we found it funny
For some, it was like a turning point.
Women had tricks to manipulate men and get what they wanted from them.
Because men are like babies, right? They don’t know what they want, and it’s our duty to “gently” help them get what they didn’t know they wanted before.
Even if, I personally find this way of thinking to be an insult to men, I can see why this type of movie can be a hit in this capitalist world where power is the law.
And it’s true, we can’t change everything in a day but
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step “
— Lao Tzu
A first step can set everything in motion
Let us be the change we want to see in others…
Honesty is important when seeking a serious relationship with someone
They may be dishonest with you because of their own experiences
But don’t be unfaithful to yourself by choosing the same path
Because although we are not responsible for their actions, we are responsible for our reaction to their actions.
Se muoio per avere contato sull’amore ne sarà valsa la pena






