Kimberly

Giving children names that they’ll be stuck with for the rest of their lives is fun

When I was younger, I thought that if I ever had a daughter, I would name her Kimberly. No one likes that name these days. In 2021, Kimberly is a terribly unpopular name choice. According to the website BabyCenter, the number of babies with this name peaked in the late sixties, and has steadily declined since then. This is because those late-60s Kimberlys became young adults in the eighties, the decade that spawned the “valley girl,” and for my money no name conjures up the image of a valley girl quite like Kimberly.

It seems about ninety-nine percent of Kimberlys shorten their name to Kim anyway, which also has negative connotations (think about the famous Kims you’re aware of). And currently the most famous Kimberly I can think of who did not shorten her name is Kimberly Guilfoyle. You know, AMERICA’S KIMBERLY:

So what draws me to the name? Simple: there’s a song called “Kimberly Austin” by the band Porno for Pyros (you may remember their lone hit, “Tahitian Moon”) that I happen to like. That’s it.