Lobola, Biblical?
In 2023, I had the privilege of sitting under Dr Voddie Bauchim’s class. The name of the course he taught at that time was called, “God, Marriage, and Family.”
A class discussion during one of the classes that year.
One of the papers I wrote for that class was a biblical analysis of Lobola. So, what we have below is the paper I wrote on that subject.
Marriage is a social contract between two parties. Wrong! It is a divinely ordained institution between one man and one woman, both enter a convent to strive to mirror the relationship Christ has with the Church. Many practices are followed far as marriage is concerned. In African, there are a lot of traditional practices that people follow some of which the Bible does not explicitly prohibit or permit; lobola such one practice. The name originates from the Zulu and Xhosa of south Africa meaning bride price. As Christians part of cultures, we need to ask if we dissolve the biblical principles into our culture rather than doing the opposite. A lot of questions are raised, what is the intended purpose for lobola, and what biblical justifications do Christians who practice give? Are these justifications liable to scrutiny? Furthermore, what is the biblical view of lobola, and how should African Christian couples approach this issue? Does it have any detrimental impacts? Lastly, what biblical principles can be applied to marriage practices?
Historically, bride prices have been paid by the man to the woman’ parents. A lot of reasons were given as to why a man is to pay either with goods or money before marrying a wife. One of the reasons given is that Lobola is seen as a gesture of respect and gratitude from the groom’s family to the bride’s family. It acknowledged the bride’s value and contributions to her family and community and demonstrated the groom’s seriousness about the marriage.This is the most common reason African parents give as to why a man should pay for his wife to be. It is to show appreciation to the parents for giving him their daughter and raising her. The next reason is just like this one; it is a form of compensation to the family for all they have done for her but also because one who was helping with the house duties is gone. The other reason for lobola is that it acts as an insurance and shows marital commitment.It in a way ensures the family that “your daughter will be taken care of, see I played money to get her.” In addition to that, it also shows ability to provide for his potential family. Above all the reasons given, the one that is primary, every other reason falls under this is the aspect of culture. Some people do not think through this issue before going forward with it; they do it because it is a cultural obligation.
Christians who practice lobola claim have biblical justifications for it. The common example given is that of Isaac when his father’s servants went to look for a wife for him in Genesis 24. The servants gave gifts upon being told to take Rebekah. “Then he brought out silver and gold jewelry and clothing and presented them to Rebekah. He also gave expensive presents to her brother and mother. Then they ate their meal, and the servant and the men with him stayed there overnight.” (Genesis 24: 53–54). This narrative is used to justify why money should be paid before one gets a wife. Another example in Genesis is that of Jacob when he offered to work for seven years for Rachel. “I will serve seven years for your younger daughter Rachel.” (Genesis 29: 18). This was after Jacob had asked him what his wage would be for serving him. “Because you are my kinsmen, should you therefore serve me for nothing?” (Genesis 29: 15). Another reference used is throughout the books of the law, the mosaic books there is a mention of a price that one pays for a bride.
The question to be answered is, are these references used justly; do they justify the use of Lobola for Christian? Is it prescribed even? The interesting thing about two passages is that the man offered to give something. Jacob offered to work for seven days, and Abraham’s people offered the gifts for Rebeca. We do not see the bride’s parents telling the groom what to give or how much to give. If the Lobola practicing process gets its principles from any of these passages, it shows inconsistency with the narratives on their part. Further, the mention of prices paid to the bride’s parents mentioned in Exodus 22 is about a virgin who has been rapped by a man. The man who does that was to pay damage, not necessarily paying to get a wife.
The rationales behind Lobola can cause the practice to be questioned. Case in point, the reason that lobola is a form of appreciation. If it really is done for appreciation, why do they have to charge how much and what should be given. The moment a price is put, it ceases to be appreciation because the giver is told what should be given, worse more, they even have a negotiation. The aspect of compensation also falls when one considers the parent’s duty to their daughter; they do not need to be repaid for fulfilling their duty as parents. Parents are supposed to give their all to their children, die for the even. Having a man who desires to marry their daughter pay as a form of compensation means the daughter owes the parents for taking care of her. Especially that in most cases the lobola charge is dependent on how educated a girl is. Based on how much the father invested in the girl, he expects a form of compensation.
How do we look at lobola in light of scripture? When we look at the sanctity of marriage, the selflessness of marriage, and the human dignity of the bride, does the practice of lobola overshadow any of these biblical principles? Especially that the aspect of negotiations pictures a sell. Humans are made in the image of God. As image bearers, they are to be treated with dignity and respect. If the part of negotiation pictures a sell, the woman is not treated as an image bearer because she is sold as a property. If this is so, the lobola practice trats marriage as a transactional arrangement and undermines its sacredness and reducing it to mere exchange of goods and wealth.In scripture we seen that marriage is a picture of the relationship Christ has with the church( Ephesians 5). If lobola pictures a sell due to its negotiation nature, it then violates the principles put up in scripture.
Can lobola have some detrimental implications? Yes, it can for example, it can make it difficult for women to leave abusive marriages, as they may feel that they are not entitled to leave without returning the lobola that was paid for them. Additionally, lobola can sometimes be used to exploit women, as the amount of lobola that is demanded can be excessive. What was intended as way to show appreciation is now used to enrich people, “greed and commercialization has crept in…Lobola has gone horribly wrong.” Lobola can sometimes lead to the objectification of women and the notion that their worth is determined by their market value, perpetuating harmful stereotypes. This can have psychological effects on women, impacting their self-esteem and well-being. It may lead to women to measure their worth by how much money was paid for them especially if they compare with the friends who might have had a higher charge.
In most cases, the demands have become exorbitant, leading to economic hardships and debt for the groom’s family. Many marriages have been called off because the groom failed to pay lobola for some reason. Who needs the money more, the new couple hoping to build a family or the parents? Obviously, it is the new couple. Usually, the man must work and save up money to pay for a wife, then figure out how he can take care of her after she comes. Lobola is supposedly intended to maintain cultural heritage and strengthens family ties, however, some situations have shown that it can also contribute to strained relationships between families. Disagreements over lobola payments or expectations can lead to conflicts and even break down marriages. It breaks the very thing it claims to build.
Some may argue that most of the times in the Old Testament culture, people offered or presented something before marrying a woman. For example, Jacob offered to work and have Laban’s daughter as his wage and Soul offered David his daughter if he could deliver philistine skins to him. Such events and more in the Old Testament narrative make it seem like it was a norm for the culture to have a man present something before getting a wife. But it is important as seen in the biblical passages, it was not a price but rather the culture in the bible was more gifts of appreciation for allowing the marriage to take place, rather than a price. They would be nothing wrong if the people that practice it stay consistent with the practice performed in the Old Testament. But even then, they do not have biblical backing for practicing lobola. We find a lot of things in the Old Testament narrative which we can not necessarily practice because the Bible does not prescribe that.
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The big question is, what should an African Christian couple do? They have had family before them that have practiced lobola and they are expected to undergo the same process by their family members. For African Christian couples contemplating marriage, navigating the intricacies of Lobola can be challenging. It requires thoughtful consideration, open communication, and a willingness to uphold Christian principles, and following culture far as it is in line with biblical principles. Embracing the significance of lobola while staying true to their faith can create a unique and meaningful experience for the couple and their families. But again, the question should always be, how are these practices honoring God? Does the lobola practice go against some biblical principles? Is it sinful even to undergo these practices?
There is nothing wrong with lobola if all it is, is appreciation. The moment the other party tell the man how much he should pay; it ceases to be an appreciation. No one will ever come who desires to appreciate them and tells them how much they should pay in appreciating them. If it is really appreciating the woman’s parents for raising a daughter, why is it only one sided? Didn’t the man’s family raise him too? Unless the man was not raised, and no effort went into bringing him up. If it is really appreciation, it should not be charged and should not be obligatory and should not be charged. The Bible does not condemn it but neither does it permit it to be part of a Christian marriage practice. Other practices done in Christian marriages that are not wrong or do not violate biblical principles are practiced. A lot of these are not prescribed in the Bible let alone mentioned.
In conclusion, the practice of lobola, or bride price, in African cultures raises important questions for African Christian couples. Marriage is a sacred institution, divinely ordained by God, and it should reflect the relationship between Christ and the Church. While lobola may have historical and cultural significance, its compatibility with biblical principles requires careful examination.
The reasons given for lobola, such as appreciation, compensation, and marital commitment, may seem valid. However, the practice becomes problematic when it turns into a negotiation and a transactional arrangement. The biblical references used to justify lobola lack consistency, as they involve offerings made voluntarily, not a prescribed price for a bride.
Furthermore, the practice of lobola can have detrimental implications. It may perpetuate harmful stereotypes, objectify women, and impact their self-esteem. It can also lead to economic hardships and family conflicts due to excessive demands and expectations.
For African Christian couples contemplating marriage, striking a balance between cultural practices and biblical principles is essential. While some cultural practices can be incorporated into a Christian wedding, it is crucial to evaluate whether they align with the sanctity of marriage and the dignity of the individuals involved. Lobola, as currently practiced in some instances, may conflict with these principles, leading to profound consequences for the couple and their families.
Ultimately, the decision regarding lobola should be grounded in a deep understanding of biblical teachings and a commitment to honor God in the marriage process. Couples must engage in open communication with their families, seeking to bridge the gap between cultural expectations and their Christian faith. It is essential to hold fast to biblical values, promoting mutual love, respect, and selflessness within the marriage.
African Christian couples should seek guidance from their spiritual leaders and mentors, as well as engage in prayer and study of the Scriptures to discern the most appropriate path for their marriage. Emphasizing the significance of appreciation and gratitude, rather than a monetary transaction, can help maintain the essence of lobola while aligning it with biblical principles.
In conclusion, lobola is a complex issue that requires careful consideration by African Christian couples. While it may have cultural significance, its compatibility with biblical principles needs to be critically examined. Striving to honor God in the marriage process, African Christian couples should approach lobola with wisdom, prayer, and a desire to uphold the sanctity of marriage and the dignity of every individual involved.
References used
- ‘Anderson, Siwan. 2007. “The Economics of Dowry and Bride price.” The Journal of Economic Perspectives: A Journal of the American Economic Association 21 (4): 151–74. https://doi.org/10.1257/jep.21.4.151.
- “Bride Price Syndrome and Dominance in Marriage: An Expository Analysis.” 2019. International Journal of Humanities Social Sciences and Education 6(8). (8).https://doi.org/10.20431/2349-0381.060811.
- Colson, Elizabeth. 2006. “the function of bride wealth payment.” The journal of the Royal Anthropological Institute of Great Britain and Ireland 90, no. 1:23–34White, Douglas R, and Michael L. Burton. 201. “causes of polygamy: ecology, economy, kingship, and warfare.” American anthropologist 90, n04:871–887.
- “ Muyambo, Primrose. 2019. “To Lobola or Not to Lobola.” TGC Africa (blog). August 20, 2019.https://africa.thegospelcoalition.org/article/lobola-not-lobola/.
- Nalovu, Tracy. 2020. “What Is Lobola or Lobolo?” Cabuniversity.com.August 6, 2020. https://cabuniversity.com/what-is-lobola-or-lobolol.
