Daring
Day 18
I have always been a little afraid of things.
Being a shy and cautious girl made me automatically rethink every choice I made. It wasn’t a phase I grew out of; it’s just the shape my mind takes.
Before I say yes to almost anything, I’ve already said it in my head a dozen times, turned it over, and looked for the crack. I question myself more than I should. Not because I don’t trust my own judgment, but because I’ve learned to move carefully.
I take time to analyse and evaluate situations long before they even happen. Funny how that still doesn’t save me from finding myself in deep shit.
I think about the willpower it takes to do some of the things I do, and how much energy that actually costs. By the time I’ve sent the email, walked into the room, said the hard thing out loud, I’ve already burned through reserves that other people got to save.
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I call it the cost of being someone who cares so much about getting things right, about not hurting anyone, about being ready before I leap.
For someone like me, daring is never simple. It’s never just an impulse followed by an action. There’s a whole invisible process that happens first, and then, somehow, I still choose to move.
Many things in my life would simply not exist if I had always waited until I felt ready. I would not have known some of the things I know. I would not have had some of the opportunities I’ve had. I would not have experienced the kind of love that has brought me this much joy.
I’m grateful for how daring let me be a beginner even when every fibre of my cautious nature wants a guarantee before I start. Learning something new, speaking up when I wasn’t sure I’d be taken seriously, trying something I’d already privately predicted I might fail at, and doing it anyway, because I’d decided the attempt mattered more than my certainty.
Every small dare stretches my world a little. Every time I do something I once thought I couldn’t, I become slightly less intimidated by the next thing. The woman I am becoming is, in many ways, being built out of tiny decisions I make every day.
🎵 Music Note: Stuck On You by Lionel Richie
Words I’d only know how to say with my head on your shoulder. ❤️
Love,
Da. Lily❤️
