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FRANK LAZARUS, The Murder Hobbyist

FRANK LAZARUS, The Murder Hobbyist⁠

I am a lifelong Philadelphian who now spends more time on Hilton Head. Since retiring in 2021, I have published 9 books, 7 in the Brown & McNeil Mystery Series

Dog Owners…

2 min readMar 18, 2026

Yes, I’m picking on y’all again!

It’s not that I do not love you; I just do not understand you.

What is going on in your life that you tolerate dog hair, odor, smell, drool, pee stains & smell, and the ultimate insult, picking up their poop, but still complain about your neighbor’s leaf blower?

Here’s a new one…why do dog walkers smile at me when they pass me walking?

Are they waiting for me to comment on the cuteness of their beast? That will never happen.

Do they want me to think they are enjoying this little ritual with Fido?

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Are they trying to distract me from the fact that I saw them picking up dog shit?

I sometimes try not to smile back, but I do not want to send these village idiots off the deep end.

And on Hilton Head, the dog walkers are old, sometimes really old. I think the dogs are walking them. These are more than just emotional support animals. These dogs are getting paid to walk the old people.

We know that dogs prefer to live in a home with small children, so that when pee, poop, gnawed, and broken furniture are discovered, there is some reasonable doubt as to the guilty party.

(If you are tempted ((Passive))to write me about the “passive verbs” above, DON’T! I’ve told you before, I no longer recognize these as grammatical errors. F*** Grammarly)

FrankLazScribe.com

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FRANK LAZARUS, The Murder Hobbyist
FRANK LAZARUS, The Murder Hobbyist

Written by FRANK LAZARUS, The Murder Hobbyist⁠

I am a lifelong Philadelphian who now spends more time on Hilton Head. Since retiring in 2021, I have published 9 books, 7 in the Brown & McNeil Mystery Series