Hey Siri, play Girlfriend by Charlie Puth
Wagwan guys, it’s been a minute. So sorry about that. And if you will permit me to explain myself, it’s not that I ghosted you people on purpose o. I have been crafting quality content for you people ni. All I think about is you guys. Fr.
Don’t worry, I’m only half Yoruba. So there is some truth to the previous paragraph.
Ok, let’s be serious, off the record yh? I’ve been going through a creative block.
I mostly draw inspiration from things happening around me, but lately, it’s been feeling like I’ve forgotten how to experience life. Does that make sense?
Hauwa talked about something similar earlier today, almost like you can’t write anymore.
But fuck that tho. Excuse my French (in case you’re new). I have told myself that I will keep writing regardless, I will not deprive my wonderful readers of peak content, and selfishly, I will not deprive myself of this therapeutic process. Thus presenting what you’re reading right now (Kot’ope, my dear).
Today’s article is about love. Cliche, I know, but this is an experience I know that people can draw lessons from and relate to. This is what I aim to do now — sharing experiences and events from my life in the hopes that others grab nuggets of wisdom and caution from them. Will Smith waited until he was over 50 to do what I’m embarking on, but why wait till then, yunno?
Btw, my stories aren’t nearly as captivating, thrilling, or enlightening as his (cap, I’ve lived many lives).
OK, fr this time. Let’s begin
The year is 2020, a time that I refer to as the height of my Charlie Puth obsession. He had this single coming out called “Girlfriend”. The song depicted a guy confessing his love and asking a girl to be his girlfriend, assuring her that his feelings for her weren’t a phase and that he actually loved her.
There’s a line from the TikToks he made to promote the song:
“Baby, would you ever want to be my girlfriend?
I don’t wanna play no games,
this is more than just a phase.”
During that period, I developed a strong bond with a friend I had initially encountered several years prior. Her intelligence, charm, confidence, and poise drew me towards her, and my feelings went beyond mere friendship; I wanted her to be my girlfriend.
So I carefully crafted a plan of how to ask her out in my mind. While I can’t recall the precise details of the strategy I devised for asking her out, I distinctly remember that I was going to wait for the song to come out before I did. It was prolly a gesture like the classic “boombox outside her window” vibe from those 80s teenage movies — a grand and sweeping gesture aiming to capture her heart.
Lowkey, I think why I can’t remember the details is because my brain is protecting me from the cringe you just felt from thinking about me asking her out like this.
Anyways back to the story. As I said, we got really close, and our shared interests were abundant.
We openly exchanged a multitude of experiences. During this time, our discussions ranged from revealing childhood traumas, late-night conversations, and divulging our aspirations, dreams, thoughts, and fears– essentially, every aspect of our lives.
I knew I wanted her to be my girlfriend. But the song hadn’t come out yet. So I was patiently counting down till I got the green light from Charlie Puth.
One night, we were talking like we normally would. And then it got intense.
HER: “Hey, quick question”
ME: “Fire”
HER: “Would you want to be my boyfriend?”
ME: **silence**
**3 minutes later**
HER: “It’s fine if you don’t want to. I’m cool with that. We can still be friends”
ME: “Noo no. Yh I want to be your boyfriend. I’d be honored!”
Get Nathaniel’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
Yup. Idan said those words.
No because make we reason am first. Wouldn’t it have been awkward if I declined, and then asked her out a few days later?? Ehen naw!
We both desired the same thing. It was clear.
Now cooperate, back to the story!
I was beyond shocked. To be honest, I fell even more in love with her after that. I said “I love you” a few minutes later. She replied:
“You stole my line”
We went to bed shortly after.
When I woke up that morning, I told my sister I was in a relationship. She almost strangled me.
She gave her reasons, and in hindsight, her perspective was valid. What we did was irrational.
My sister was right, she almost always is, but I have no intention of admitting this truth to her.
6 months later, we broke up.
Moral of the story? Kids, never fall in love. It’ll rip you apart.
Closure was comforting tho. We realized we were just two dumb kids. And to this day, I still believe we probably ruined a beautiful bond with that relationship.
For a while it even felt like we’d be one of those people who were really cool with their exes, but naahhh.
And now I don’t even think those people even exist. There are just a lot of things like new boundaries, emotional baggage, and shared history that will definitely emphasize the fact that the dynamic has changed between the two of you. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying people should block their exes or move to a new country or whatever, I just mean things will never be as “fluid” as they were when you were just friends, and that’s ok.
I wouldn’t change anything tho. It was an amazing experience for me, and I know it was for her too.
I learned, I grew, I changed, I got hurt, I hurt, and I evolved.
In retrospect, our journey was a whirlwind of emotions, a blend of youthful passion and the search for meaning. Our brief but intense relationship taught me that love, while capable of inflicting pain, is also a beautiful catalyst for growth and transformation.
Despite its eventual end, I cherish the lessons it left me with — the importance of love, the bliss in sharing the most beautiful and vulnerable parts of yourself with someone, and the understanding that sometimes, our paths converge only to divert us toward our individual destinies.
If you’ve read most of my pieces, you already know that I’m not big on interpretation, and I don’t like to draw the lessons out of my pieces. I like to leave that part to you, my dear reader.
I will leave you with this information tho: I am not afraid to love again. I am now… “armed” with newfound wisdom and the courage to welcome both heartache and bliss. After all, it is through these varying experiences and emotions, that we find a deeper understanding of the complexities and depths of life and love.
POSTSCRIPT 1
Btw, she is cool with this :)
POSTSCRIPT 2
Thank you so much for your time, and I hope you enjoyed this piece as much as I thought you would.
I also have some exciting news to share. I’m launching a series titled “I Promise You, I’m Not High.” This series will explore various captivating concepts that engage the human mind, it is meant purely to be educative, thought-provoking, and enlightening. It will have seven distinct parts, each contributing to an enriching exploration.
However, please note that it will only be available on my Substack profile. If you haven’t subscribed yet, here’s the link for your convenience.
I’ll be sure to keep you updated on its release as I’m currently in the process of fine-tuning and editing.
Thank you once again for your support!
