The Demon Within
This story is on Amazon Vella.
Jay Clossen had plans. In a blink of an eye, life changed. He joined the Marines. Came home. Became a detective. Now, at 38, his life is in shambles. Addicted to heroin from an undercover job, one night, he shoots too much. Arcas Raska saves his life. Now, there is a serial killer in town. Obsessed with Jay. Will Jay face this challenge, or will he finally break once and for all? Only time will tell of Arcas will answer the cry screaming ‘SAVE ME’. And save Jay from the demons within.
But I am going to post Chapter One here.
Copyright 2022 All Rights Reserved
Trigger Warnings: Drugs, Violence, Sex, self-harm, Murder, Blood, Gore, it is rated R. Talk about abuse. Recovery.
The Demon Within
by Kris Charles
“A Broken Man Can Beat The Devil…
Or Become What Even God May Fear…”
Chater One:
Addiction: Losing My Religion
Wars may be fought with weapons, but they are won by men. It is the spirit of men who follow and of the man who leads that gains the victory.
~General George Patton.
Jay screamed inside of his mind as he started awake. The time was about thirty minutes before his alarm would go off. Today he was going to war.
War.
Jay felt like he had been at war his whole life.
From birth.
To his teenage years.
To his twenties.
Which in his late teens and early twenties, he was literally in a war.
About cost him his life.
But he won that battle to stay alive.
And now, at thirty-seven, he was still fighting a war.
War.
No matter the weapons at his disposal, in the end it would be him that had to fight and win the war.
And there was war.
There was a war inside of his head. He looked at the line upon the car hood. There was no going back. Part of him scoffed that the idiots really thought a cop would not take the line just because they were a cop. The war was raging on but would be over in just a blink of an eye. There would be no going back. For as long as he was undercover, he would be expected to take the drugs. He flashed upon the last kid, barely thirteen, dead because the supplier cut their shit with chemicals that tore the baby’s lungs. He remembered their grandmother screaming as she lost her only grandchild.
He bent and took the line.
He shook his head and looked at the guy. “So, when do we meet the supplier?”
Two Years Later
The gunshot rang out as the supplier realized he had been trapped. “Lawrence Police Department!” Jay yelled once the exchange happened, which caused the bullets to fly. “Damnit! Just give up, Rogers! We have you surrounded. You won’t make it out of here a free man!”
The man next to Jay was hit and down. Jay winced, as that man had been his informant. His CI had got him an in two years ago when Jay realized the only way to permanently stop the bad drugs from killing kids was to go undercover. So, Jay went undercover. He was good at it. Fifteen years on the force, he has been undercover on multiple missions for all but four of those years. This last undercover mission has been going on for two years. And it would be his last. He kept his mind on the shootout; the thugs were the worst. But nobody would escape. Jay had worked much too long for this moment. So, Jay fought.
Twenty minutes later, the supplier was arrested, along with a few other high-level bosses. There was a pile of bodies from their thugs. And they were lucky not to lose one cop. Though three were injured.
The last thing Jay remembered fully was the slap on the back by his captain, a bottle of cheap whiskey passed around, and walking down a dingy, dark alley. Could not throw a stick without hitting an alley like that in Lawrence nowadays.
He saw a homeless man and dropped some cash in a cup.
Then he closed his eyes for a moment and saw blood.
Death.
He reached into his pocket for his phone.
He felt the needle and balloon.
He gripped them into his hand.
Next thing he knew was blue eyes.
Then nothing.
Then a bright light, which would be the ER lights, fighting a tube, and then oblivion.
Until he woke up feeling like he had been run over by a Mack Truck, backed over, and run over again.
Fuck. He barely remembered the first couple of days after waking up in the hospital. He knew he had a problem. He was not one to deny things to himself. Others, sure. Call it pride of a man. Pride. His greatest sin. He stood at the window smoking a cigarette. It was against the rules. But he would damned again if they took away all his addictions. He had nicotine, caffeine, and sugar left. He could hear the tap, tap, tap of the nurse coming; he quickly put the cigarette out and flicked it out the crack in the window. He turned to the woman as she walked in and glared.
“Seriously, you cops are all the same with those cigarettes. Think you would know better.”
“Nurse Lily.” Jay did not try to hide the smell. But he was not that much of an ass to continue to smoke in front of the people who were forced to enforce the rules.
Lily crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. “What is it with you and those things?”
Jay shrugged, “we see some shit. We have some vices that might kill us.”
“You have your first meeting. Here is your delivery of clothes. Don’t be late.” She put the clothes on the bed as Jay moved to the sink.
Jay looked into the mirror, his emerald hazel eyes stared back. Dead inside. Worn and weary. They reflected the demon within. The hospital gown made his skin look too pale; and the freckles he had been ‘blessed’ with looked darker.
He fucked up.
All for the bust.
He knew he had the tendency to shoot first, ask questions later.
He also thought a million steps ahead.
He was not as dumb as he let people think.
After all, at only thirty-seven, he was the primary detective in Narcotics and Homicide.
And actually had doctorates in two different branches of psychology.
But he was the best undercover detective.
He was the primary in his field.
Fuck what people thought.
He may just be a detective; but that was something to him.
But it did not change the fact he fucked up.
Jay had not meant to get this deep into the undercover persona. He got in too deep. Became attached. At times he forgot where Jay Clossen was under the disguise of Jay O’Malley. It got blurred. But he won.
He won.
Now not only did he have to find himself again, but he had to kick a habit his job forced him to fall into. Oh, he could have said no. But if he had, he would never have gotten into the inner circle. He would never have gotten the major supplier. The ass getting kids hooked and then killing them.
He had not wanted to do the drugs that night.
He just wanted the images to stop.
For his thoughts, that always ran a million miles a minute, to stop.
And he certainly never meant to overdose.
He does not remember much of that night once he shot that spike into his vein. Blue eyes, a long trench coat, kindness as the person hulled his odd ass off his back, made sure he did not choke to death on his vomit, and stayed there to stab him with that damn needle in his thigh every two minutes until the ambulance came.
And Jay knew he stayed to stab him in the thigh, because of the multiple little pricks in his skin, the giant ass bruise that covered the thigh, and most of all, Jay was still fucking alive.
Many would not have done that.
Fought to save some junkie.
But this man did.
Who was this man?
He knew as well that the guy had to be strong. He had left bruises on his arm.
And he could not get the blue eyes out of his mind.
He wanted to know who belonged to those crystal ice-blue eyes that glowed with a true kindness that Jay thought was destroyed by humanity.
He had signed the papers to stay and do a thirty day in-house rehab. And the bonus of it all, Jay finally got enough evidence to take down the crime boss that caused him to have this addiction.
Jay’s only wish now was to meat the angel that saved his life.
Even if it was only to get the blue eyes out of his dreams.
Jay splashed water onto his face. He had a meeting to get too, and he finally could get into his own clothes, and not this stupid hospital gown.
God, he missed his jeans and boots.
Lord knows he was not a fancy man. He did not wear suits, unless he had to; his best suit was his dress uniform.
He shook himself free from his thoughts and dressed before going down to the session. He was also being assigned a shrink. Ugh! Dr. Robert William Rowen. They were suggested to him by his Captain. So, he will go and see him, twice a week, after his thirty day in-house rehab.
Jay sat down in the hard metal chair. He still had a hospital wristband on his wrist, and would for the next thirty days. He had a cup of terrible coffee and a stale donut. He snorted; cliches were cliches for a reason. He was a cop who could not say no to a donut. He loved sweet things. Pies and donuts were his favorites. Fruit pies and those old man donuts, the ones with a custard pudding in them, and then powdered; yep, he had his favorites. He settled in with his stale donut, which was for sure not his favorite type, and took a deep breath; he could do this, he could. He looked at the shrink. Yes, he knew it was not politically correct to call them that nowadays. But Jay did not like people who tried to mess with his mind. He had enough going on in there, things better left buried, and they just wanted to rip it all out and make him face everything. He had not been running since he was almost seventeen from nothing.
“Hello, I am Doctor Alton Tennant! The next thirty days will be one-on-one sessions with me and twice a week group sessions. Also, once a week you will leave here to go to the meetings that you will go to once you leave rehab. Some of you will go to AA, others NA. But we will expect you all to go to meetings. If you want to get your life back in control, the meetings may not seem like they are doing much at first, but they will become a lifeline for you. At first, you may need to go every day and then drop to a few times a month. Why will you be going during this time? You need time to find a sponsor. Your sponsor will be the one you can reach out to, the one that will be your connection to this new life. Now don’t worry if you don’t find your sponsor this month. It is a very important role someone will fill. You want to make sure you trust them. Today, we will be going around and giving our name. First names only. And why you are in here.”
Jay pretended to listen to the other people. In honesty, he just did not care. He did not have enough strength to care at this time. He only had enough to focus on himself and staying clean so he could get back to work in thirty days. And when it got to him. “Jay. Blow.” He was a man of few words. He was not ready for any type of connection. Only connection he wanted was sex. He liked sex. It calmed him. It released stress. What he wanted was some no string attached sex. With a very pretty person. He did not care about gender, he liked pretty. He was not talking about physical beauty, though there was that; he was talking about the soul. You can just tell if someone has a kind soul on them. He thought himself an excellent judge of character, but he was human and could be fooled.
“Hello Jay.”
Already Jay knew that these thirty days would be a test of his patience. Mostly because the shrink shot him a look that said he should say more about himself.
Jay sighed, “I am a detective. Head of Homicide and Narcotics. I was undercover. To not blow my cover I had to take blow, occasionally heroin. The drugs helped me deal with things I saw undercover. I overdosed when I finally took the suppliers down. I was saved. And now to go back to the job I love, I am here to get clean.”
They clapped and they continued going around the circle, and Jay checked out once more.
Jay had his first one-on-one with one of the shrinks the next day. “Jay.” He checked in with the nurse.
“Jay, come in!” The shrink came out and shook his hand. “I am Robert Rowan. I am actually the department therapist as well. We will get to know each other. I would have allowed Tennant to handle your first thirty days, but he is typically too happy and touchy feely for law enforcement officials. When you are done here, you are to have twice a week meetings with me. To make sure that you are still fit for duty. I don’t see why you won’t be. But after this long of an undercover mission with the consequences it has had, it is to be expected, at least for six months.”
“Yeah. I was told.”
“You are a man of few words.”
“Yeah.”
“Well, today is just to get to know the background of what caused you to be here. I only know it was a long undercover mission.”
“Yeah, I was after this drug dealer who was putting this bad blow out. They cut it with enough chemicals that it was killing kids. I was undercover for two years. To prove that I wasn’t a cop, I had to basically become addicted to the shit.”
“Happens a lot. You got him?”
“Yes.”
“So, why become a cop?”
“Not ready to talk to that, doc.”
“You were in the Marines before?”
“Yeah, joined the Marines to help pay for College. I wasn’t smart enough for scholarships, but I could get in. Then 9/11 happened. Did my four years, stayed over there. Came back. Went to college. Joined the department. Started in patrol. Worked my way up quickly. I love my job. I may see the worst of humanity, but I either get people their justice or I protect them. And I have a saving people thing. Not a hero complex, I would never put someone in danger to save them.”
“Yes, you do have your degree, doctorates you got over the years, in criminal and behavioral psychology.”
“And I use it to find the bad guys.” Jay smirked as he laid back and started to relax with the doc. “I could always read people. Always. Tell when they were lying, when they were hiding something, it isn’t like reading minds, it is reading the person as a whole. Their soul. Their body can’t lie. Their words can. Their actions. But those hesitations, micro-expressions? They can’t. It is why I was such a damn good undercover cop. I am going to miss that.”
“Even though you can make a fortune doing what I do, easy job, give out advice and pills?”
“I am not a high life man. Nothing against you, but I have to have something to challenge me, keep me moving. It is just the way I am, Doc.”
Robert smiled; “of course, you are a man of action. A good, honest man. A righteous man.”
“Don’t know about that, Doc. But I try to make sure the angel on my shoulder wins more than the devil.”
“You said you were going to miss being undercover. Why?”
“I am… Was… Good at it. Best in East, so to say. I guess I will just have to be satisfied with giving lectures, teaching, etc. Because this blew me right into the front pages of the paper. Being undercover… I don’t know if I can explain it right. But it allowed me an outlet for all the darkness in my soul. I took the worse parts of myself and turned them to the most desirable in my roles. It made me work through the darkness, and figure out a way once I left the undercover role to handle the darkness, and make my weaknesses my strengths.”
“That makes sense.” Robert smiled. “One last question.”
“Shoot, Doc.”
“Do you regret any action you took?”
Jay looked at him. The image of those that died during these two years. Those that were hurt. Some even by his own hands as he worked himself closer and closer to the elite circle around the supplier. Then he flashed upon all the faces of those dead kids. Telling their parents that a terrible drug killed them. How it was intentional. How he had to tell them their babies would never come home. He blinked his eyes against the tears. “No. Never.” He said with all the convection of his soul. “No.” He could never regret a single action that got justice for those kids.
“Well, this was a good first session. I will see you in two days.” Robert stood and shook Jay’s hand. “Don’t forget to find your meeting place. Here is a list of ones that have mostly cops, firefighters, etc. A random lawyer.”
Jay looked at the list. There were three next to his house. All churches, but that was okay. “Thanks, Doc.” Jay left and went back to his room. Maybe he would call his boss and ask to get a K-9 pup. Yes, a companion and partner. He prepared his argument as he went through his day and dealing with withdrawal symptoms. Sometimes he just wanted to forget. Pets are supposed to help. Right? He called his boss before he laid down for a bit. Withdrawal took a lot out of a person.
“Jay.” Came the honey voice of his captain.
“Danielle. I want a K-9 pup when I get outta here.”
Danielle Brooks sat back at her desk. “Well, this was not what I was expecting. I was expecting more of: “Boss, get me outta here. Now!”
Jay chuckled; that did sound like him. “I know I need this, boss. So…”
Danielle chuckled; “yeah, I will approve that when you get out we are getting a batch of eight-week olds. You can help train yours. I will shoot you some pictures, so you can choose yours. Better yet, come down to the station when you leave tomorrow to find your NA meeting location. You can pick your pup out.”
“Thanks, boss.”
“A pup will be good for your. Partner. Friend. And dogs are good to help with PTSD, depression, and overcoming addiction. So, it is logical.”
“Thanks. I will see you soon.”
“Rest Jay. You earned it.”
Jay ended the call and went and tossed and turned and got snippets of sleep.
Those snippets had him dreaming of bright blue eyes.
When he woke, he went to his next group session. For the first week there were sessions twice a day, meeting with the shrink, and food. Not much. It is boring as fuck.
Tennant looked at the group. “Jay! So, tell us about what lead you to this path.”
“What path? Drugs? I took an undercover op. That is pretty simple. I have seen a lot of shit in this world. I went from high school to the Marines. There I lost my religion. The shit you see over there is… indescribable. Never did I have the temptation to drugs. I did not want to escape my reality. Now you want me to confess what lead me to an addiction like it was something I did? Fuck you. I went undercover. To gain their confidence, I had to use the product. Keep your people addicted and they won’t betray you. What?” He scoffed at their shocked faces. “Too much? I don’t believe in sugarcoating shit. I am in the spotlight now. Cop gives up sobriety to keep kids safe. Wasn’t that the headline today? Look, I will do what I need to do to protect and serve. But you want me to be all praying, begging forgiveness, and apologizing for my choice to take that first line so I can get an in to a drug ring? Not gonna fucking happen.”
“Jay, that isn’t want this is about. We are not here to put blame on you.”
“Really, because it sounds like it. Only reason I am here is because I need to complete thirty days to go back to active duty. So, consider this, I was brought to my knees, brought to my lowest point, and now you want me to blab everything. AND then when I give my opinion on your methods, it is too much for you? Look, I am here. I will tell you the bare information. But, dude, I lost my religion and faith a long time ago. And more to the point I am ain’t going to spill my dreams and hopes to a bunch of strangers.”
Tennant sighed; “let’s try this another way. How about you tell us about your first day, you woke at the hospital after found with an overdose, and what lead to that?”
“I just made a bust of my career. I had some smack in my pocket, and some money. So, I went to celebrate. I kept taking shot after shot. I hit the bottle hard. I threw my keys to the bartender and just wanted to drink and not go home. There is nothing for me at home. And I had so much shit going through my head. Every murder, every deal, every fucking crime that I had to watch committed, or I had to commit myself, just so I can get the piece of shit that was killing kids. Look, I am human; you don’t fuck with kids. Then the bars shut down. I was alone. I looked through my pockets for a cigarette, nasty habit, I know, not gonna stop anytime soon though, when I found the smack. I looked at the needle, I looked at the amount, I didn’t want to go home. I prepared the whole baggie of it. I pushed the needle into my arm, the blood mixed with the drugs, and then I just pushed it all in.”
“Why?”
“Doc, you ever been addicted to anything?”
“Not unless you count my morning coffee.”
“Then you won’t get it. Blow and heroin, it has a power over you. I just don’t know that power even after feeling it. That feeling when you put a spike in your vein… I don’t know if I can explain it. For a moment the world stops. You don’t have to know your next move, you don’t have to worry about anything. It gives you this euphoria that makes you feel like you can do anything. It makes it feel, for just that moment you haven’t lost control of your life. But you have. Choices made when high, aren’t really choices. You run from the things you see, you run from the things you have to do, it brings you to the veil and back again. I just don’t know. It isn’t something that can be explained. Only experienced. And I wish that sometimes, I was born in a different time, a different world, and for a moment when that spike enters my system, I am not in this world of darkness. I am not chasing evil. And that night I just wanted to stop the darkness that played through my eyes. I just wanted the nightmares to stop. I just wanted to not think. My job is my wife, but blow and heroin were my mistress. And I don’t want them. I now have to find a way back to myself.”
“Very, good, and the first day you woke up at the hospital, what did you feel?”
“I woke up to pain. The night just playing in my head. It was like a hangover times a million. I was messed up. My mind was skipping like a scratched record. I was hungover and hard up. The pain was there, the sick feeling to my stomach. But my first thought was ‘Goddamn it, I am alive.’ I was relieved. I don’t, and didn’t, want to die. I just wanted to stop the images in my head. I just wanted to stop thinking about things, and just get some sleep. And instead, it almost destroyed my life. My life is being a detective. My life is fighting for the little guy. My life is helping people who need help, because nobody else will help them. I have a saving people thing. Not a hero complex, but a saving people thing. So, if you are asking me what I felt when I woke up in the hospital after my overdose? That is simple. I felt like shit, but happy I felt like shit because I was alive. After all, pain is just weakness leaving the body, right?”
“Marine. Yeah. Okay, good break through Jay. I will make sure the notes are sent over to your primary psychologist.”
Jay just nodded as he sat back and listened to others of the group. Good God, was he going to have to do this for the rest of his life? How often would he have to go to meetings? Would he always crave that oblivion that drugs gave him? Did he really just fuck up his life? He had at least twenty more years on the force. Honestly, though, given the chance, he would work until he died. Retirement sounded boring. Fishing for more than a weekend was too much. He liked his work. He liked his life. He was thirty-seven, single, with a string of exes that read like a bad porno script. Most of his exes were all sex and no substance. The only one he really thought about making it work with was Kate. But they were better friends. Kate. He really should call her and let her know he was okay. Maybe she would have some advice. After all, she was his best friend. He had come a far way since being the popular jackass jock he was when he was in high school.
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He left the group session, ate some flavorless food, and gave Kate a call. “Kate.”
“Goddamn it, Jay! I have been worried!”
“I know baby girl. I am sorry. I am not going to dress this up in lies, just lay out the naked truth. I am in rehab. I got the guy killing kids, but have a bit of an addiction problem. I OD’d. I know you don’t have all the answers but give it to me straight.”
“I don’t have a book of rules to put your life back on track. But you were destroyed worse than this before, Jay. You may have stumbled before. But remember, this is your life to make your choice. But here is the little I do know. You don’t stand for hate, you scream against injustice. You let the world drag you through hell to save the lost souls. You stay unfiltered, loud, you stay proud of your scars, and you continue being who you are, Jay. This darkness will come and go. You will get through this. Just don’t run to the Marines again. You almost died in the war, your heart stopped three times when you were shot. But this is your life. You fix you the way you need to fix you.”
“Baby girl, you always know what to say. You know I won’t change. This is just a storm I have to weather… just like that day so many years ago.”
“You gave a lot of yourself away, Jay. You are paying the price for being the hero. But you used that rage at senseless death, and you won. You will get through this. I promise, I am with you every step of the way. It may feel like hell for a while, but you got this, Jay.”
“Dive into the pain and make it through the other side stronger and better.”
“Exactly. Dive into the pain. Put down your weapon, Marine. And I will be with you each step of the way. All the way to the end. Even if you fuck up, I will be there to help you stand back up. You are my best friend. My brother in but blood.”
“We always were better friends, what were we thinking when we tried a romantic relationship?”
“It was logical. But hey, I will come to visit you in a couple weeks. You just keep those spikes around your heart laid down, and heal.”
“Thanks, baby girl.”
“Welcome, brother.”
The call end and Jay went to lie down. He would get through this. He would.
They had left the center to find their primary NA meeting place. Jay found one between his home and the station. It was at the Catholic Church. The tattoo on the center of his back burned as he thought of the hell he went through as a young teen. Conversion Therapy. It was torture. But the tattoo on his back which was a compass with the center of the St. Benedict Protection Pendant, and instead of North, East, South, and West, it had the sigils of Archangel Michael, Archangel Gabriel, Archangel Uriel, and Archangel Rapheal. For protection, mercy, salvation, and healing. Only color on the tattoo were the sigils, Michael was blue, Gabriel white and black, Uriel was red, and Rapheal was green. It reminded him how his past helped him down this path. How he had to follow his inner compass to make it through the other side with his soul intact.
He shook his head as he told Tennant that he was stopping by the K-9 training center. After they granted permission, he walked the six blocks to the center. He walked in and he could hear the dogs all around him. He walked up to the pups. They were only four weeks old, their mothers protective. He was watching when he saw this one German Shepherd; he was a big boy, with a personality. He was running around with a red ball larger than him. Determined to play. Jay nodded to the handlers and stepped in and stood in front of the pup. “Rex, stop.”
The pup stopped and put down the ball. He looked at Jay.
“Good boy, Rex.” Jay bent down to the four week old pup. “I am your new partner. I will come get you in five weeks. Until then you will listen to your handlers. I will try to come by as much as I can.”
The pup barked at him.
“Go play.”
Rex took his ball back to the other pups.
“We could not get him to listen.” James Whittaker came over to greet Jay.
“He just had to meet an alpha.” Jay smirked as he leaned back and watched the pup.
James laughed. “Rex. Good name.” He marked the paperwork. “We will get his tags and badge made up.”
“Good. Go with red for his off duty color.”
“Red it is. Have a good day, Jay.”
“You too. Take care of my boy.”
“I will. You take care of yourself.”
“That is the plan. Have a pup dependent on me now.”
James slapped his back and sent him on his way.
Jay went back to the center and went on trying to heal from two years of having to wear a mask of someone he was not.
He just hoped he did not lose what made him, him with this latest mission.
When he got back from the last session of the day, his Captain was waiting. “Boss?”
“Just leaving you the file. Bruce and Jimmy are on it. But there was an arson today, intentionally set to kill. They found a body tortured and left in the living room for dead.”
Jay looked at the file. “Tom Pickett. Sounds familiar. Our CI, Pickett? Who got us an in on that murder ring of socialites five years ago?”
“One and the same.”
“He was a coward; his panic got me shot twice. But he didn’t deserve this. Any leads?”
“No. Fire department is still at the scene. Everything was burned. If it wasn’t for the exploding gas cans, they may have said he fell asleep with a cigarette.”
“I will read it when I can. But if this wasn’t random, then we may be looking at a start of a spree.”
“Let’s pray it was random.” Danielle stated as she walked out the door, leaving Jay to his thoughts and the file.
Across the city, there was a paramedic starting his twenty-four-hour shift at the firehouse. He had just put his personal clothes away when he heard his name yelled out by his boss.
“Raska!” His boss was standing on the second floor, looking down.
Arcas Raska was not worried; his boss had a giant smile on his face. And honestly, Alastair Eamon did not have a poker face. “Yeah, Boss?”
“Good save with that detective. Sad business that. Got all those suppliers and dealers off the street, but at the cost of his own health and sanity. That was a good man you saved.”
“Detective?”
“The person you saved from an overdose was one of our city’s top detectives. I got off the phone with Chief Fenna. Garret can be an ass, but he cares about his people. Anyways, good job. Garret mentioned something about a commendation. Jay Clossen is one of the best.”
Jay Clossen. So, the handsome man was just not another wayward soul. Not that it would have mattered. Arcas helped people. That was his calling. It did remind him to restock his personal kit. He tried to keep as much as possible on him in case he needed it. And that night he needed it. But to find out that the person he saved was a local hero who gained an addiction in the line of duty, that he had given up his sobriety to save the city’s children, that hit hard with Arcas. He knew that a lot of people in their line of work, either police, firefighters, paramedics, could end up down that road with pain killers, liquor, or other drugs. They saw many things in their lines of duty. Some things were so bad that it would give people nightmares. Many of which gave them nightmares. What had that man seen that he wanted to take that large of dose? Was it a wish to die? Or just a wish to shut down all the thought swimming in his brain.
Arcas remembered that night well. It probably would always stick with him. All because of how dead those honey green eyes looked as they stared at Arcas unseeing.
Arcas had just left from another awful blind date. Why did he let his sister keep setting him up? Next time he would have to tell Shelly no. No matter how much Michelle begged, he would not give into another blind date. Honestly, the only thing those men had on their mind was sex. Not that Arcas did not like sex; he just wanted a connection, too. He had one-night stands before, but he was not looking for just sex. He was thirty-six, and he wanted a companion in this life. He was walking to his car. The night was still. He heard a thud and turned around. He saw a man stumbling down the alley. “Do you need help?”
The man looked at him with glassy green eyes. The man titled his head and then fell.
Arcas ran over and turned him over. He was overdosing! He called for an ambulance. “Excuse me! Can you hear me?” He slapped the man on his face to keep him awake. “Can you stay awake for me?” Arcas cursed as he turned the man on his side to throw up. He had a Naloxone shot in his car. It was just a few feet away. “Stay right on your side. I will be back!” Arcas took off in a run and opened his car, ripping through his first aid kit grabbing the Naloxone. He got back to find the man on his back. He cursed. “Fuck.” He moved and turned the man again, hitting his back to try to keep the man’s lungs clear. He moved quickly and stabbed the man in the thigh with the Naloxone. He kept doing this every two minutes while he waited for the ambulance and maintaining the man’s breathing. When the ambulance did arrive the paramedic bagged him and took him right to the hospital.
Arcas shook himself from his thoughts. Jay Colossen. He wondered if it was the same one he went to high school with; so many years ago. If so, Jay had changed. That Jay was a popular jock who joined the Marines. Arcas, himself, was still in the closet about being a gay male. Arcas went to college and there he found himself and changed his name from Brianna to Arcas. And that caused disownment. But Arcas was bright, and he got scholarships to finish his nursing degree. But he found his calling when he applied at a firehouse right out of college, as he was having issues getting hired at a hospital. He went and took paramedic classes after going through the academy. And the rest was, as they say, history.
Arcas spent the next half hour on his phone looking up Jay Colossen. He was the one he went to high school with, small world. He also read about the bust. Jay really had changed for his jock ways of high school. The last time he saw Jay Colossen was the end of Jay’s junior year, Arcas’s sophomore year. Rumor was that Jay had dropped out due to drugs and not being able attend his classes. What he found out now was that rumor was so not the truth. There was a whole article on Jay Colossen.
LOCAL HERO BRINGS DOWN DRUG RUNG
Local hero Jameson Johnathan Colossen has had an eventful life, leading up to the last two years undercover. We were able to gain some information on Detective Colossen, and here is the scoop!
Jameson ‘Jay’ Colossen was born on September 27th, 1983. Four years later his brother was born, David Micheal Colossen. His parents were Raelynn Colossen and Nathan Colossen. His childhood would be shaped by tragedy. When he was fifteen, his own father put him in the hospital. Then, days before his seventeenth birthday, one of the most tragic events to hit this town occurred. The Lawrence High School Shooting.
This day was extra tragic for our hero. Not only did he lose many friends, but he lost his baby brother. His brother was only going on thirteen, a freshman, who had skipped a couple grades. A brother who just the week before had done a paper on his ‘hero’ and naming his brother as his inspiration to be a good influence on the world.
Collosen then dropped out of high school, he got his GED and joined the Marines. Where he moved his mother away from the spousal abuse brought on by Nathan Collosen.
Then 9/11 happened. And our hero did his tours in Afghanistan and Iraq. His first tour was ten months in Afghanistan. He was injured saving a fellow Marine and was awarded a Purple Heart and a Bronze Star. After four months off, where he worked in base as a mechanic, he went on his second tour. His mother being tragically killed by his father just weeks before the end of his second tour. This ended his second tour after a year. After taking two months off to grieve and get justice for his mother. He left and went on one last tour.
In his last tour, he almost did not make it home! He saved a group of Marines and was shot three times, all while fighting the enemy and keeping the troop safe as they battled and cleared the area! His heart stopped for almost three minutes. By the end of his three tours, they awarded him: A Purple Cluster, A Bronze Star, The Silver Star, The Navy Distinguished Service medal, and The Navy Cross.
This hero then came home and went to KSU, where he would end up getting a doctorate in psychology, specializing in both criminal and behavioural. He joined the Police academy when he graduated from undergrad. During his time on the force, he moved up quickly and would end up with his doctorate. For eleven of his fifteen years he has been a detective. He became head detective just five years ago for homicide and narcotics. He has been the department’s lead undercover agent.
This last assignment will be his last undercover. Sources close state that our Hero is going to get a new K-9 partner and work more in Homicide and cold cases.
Everybody give thanks to the man who gave up years of his life to protect the people of Lawrence!
Arcas was brought out of his thoughts as the rest of the team was starting to come into the house.
“Hey Arcas!” Peter called as he walked into the firehouse to start their shift.
“Hey Pete. You driving today?” They always switched driving and being in the back.
“Yeah. Thanks for letting me drive this whole month. Hurting my back was so not the plan. But the doc says I should be able to go back to normal duty if my checkup next week shows the muscle has healed.”
“No problem. You would have done it for me.”
“Yep! Hey, how was that date your sister set you up on?”
“Sex. The man wanted nothing but sex. I don’t know why I let her set me up.”
“Well, sex is good. And she will keep nagging you until you give in.”
“True, but honestly, at thirty-six I would like some type of meat to the relationship, and not just that meat. Don’t go there, I can hear the comment now.”
Pete laughed; “You know me too well.” Pete was changed and sat down on the bench. “Heard you saved a junkie from OD’ing.”
“Wasn’t a junkie. Undercover detective who had to use to get an in. Caught the bad guys; guess the supplier was mixing chemicals that were killing kids that used his product. He would give them uncut stuff to hook them to heroin or coke and then switch it with the cut stuff. Which ended up killing them.”
“Shit. Undercover, wonder how long?”
“Article said almost two years.”
“Shit! That long? He had to become a whole other person to stay in that long. I wonder how that is going to affect him long term.”
“Don’t know. Psychology wasn’t my thing.”
Just then the alarm went, and they ran to gear up and move out.
When they got to the fire, only an idiot could tell it was not arson. Besides the gas cans seen exploding from the front room’s bay window.
“SHIT! DON’T MOVE!” The chief yelled, as they all ducked as a gas can exploded and flew towards them.
The whole crew jumped into action. Pete and Arcas helped man the hoses as others went into the house. It seemed like hours, but was only moments when they were back out.
The unfortunate part was that the body they brought out was just that a body. Arcas rushed over to do his duty.
“Shit, this guy was tortured to death then set on fire.”
“Dead?”
“Yeah.” Arcas pulled a sheet over the body. “The police are going to be pissed.”
“Tell me about it. All their evidence is up and flames. Get back to the hose, Raska.”
Arcas nodded and rushed to head for the hose again. Pete looking grateful he was back to assist.
It was hours later that they made it back to the station. They were all dirty and headed toward the showers.
As Arcas had stated, the police were not pleased. The detectives Bruce Moore and James Kingsley spent at least twenty minutes cursing. They talked to them all as they cleaned up the scene.
“Anything you can tell about the body?”
“I can see, barely, the torture. Looks like a sharp pointed object. Thin at the top and gets thicker based on the wounds. He would have been barely alive when he was set on fire. The shock and blood loss killing him before the fire destroyed anything that may have been on him. Sorry, Detectives.”
Jimmy sighed; “not your fault.”
“The person who did this used cooking oil in the gas containers.”
“Cooking oil?” Jimmy asked; that seemed odd.
“Less likely to be traced. Fuck.” Bruce stormed off.
“Yeah…” Jimmy shook his head. “Everybody buys cooking oil. And large amounts too. Hell, my girlfriend just bought a ten-pound jug of the stuff at that wholesale place.”
“Is he going to be alright?”
“He is probably wishing that we could get Jay on this case. We identified the owner, and if the dead body is the owner, he was one of Jay’s CIs.”
“Jay?”
“Hero in the paper?”
“Ah;” Arcas nodded. “He would normally take this call?”
Jimmy shrugged; “we normally would have him to bounce ideas off at least. Anyways! If you think of anything, call down at the station. Have a good night.”
Arcas took the card and nodded. “Of course, detective.”
Arcas had just come out of the showers when he heard his bos yell.
“MEETING! Kitchen!”
Arcas quickly dressed and high-tailed it up the stairs and into the kitchen. Any time there was a kitchen meeting, Alistar cooked. “Boss, what is for chow?”
“Bottomless pit! That is all you are, Lieutenant.”
Arcas laughed; “you shouldn’t cook so well, Alistar.”
“Pasta. I made pasta. Salad. Corn. We eat too much meat in this house.”
“Let me guess, Jenni is on your case to cut out some meat?”
“You know my wife too well!”
“She is my best friend since high school. I introduced the two of you. I think I told you, I didn’t care if you were my boss, hurt her and they wouldn’t find your body.”
Alistar laughed. “Oh, I remember. It is the reason you are the godfather to our daughter. Who is expecting her Uncle Arcas to come over and babysit her on Saturday, our first weekend off, I know, but I and Jen haven’t had a chance to be alone since she was born.”
“Oh, bring out the guilt. You are lucky I love my goddaughter. How is Dee?”
“You know, teething again. Hard to believe she is eight months.”
“Well, she is a cute little rug rat.”
“You think you will ever have any?”
“I froze my eggs when I started T, all those years ago. I find the right person, maybe.”
Alister knew the others were at least five minutes out. “I thought you…”
“I always wanted kids.” Arcas shrugged. “I would probably still get a surrogate, but it has crossed my mind once or twice to carry my own child. But that is something for when I am in a good, healthy, lasting relationship.”
“You keep letting your sister set you up, all you will have is one-night stands.”
“Shelly seems to think all I want is sex.”
“You are a sex fiend, from what I heard from my wife. Or at least you were in college.”
“College was a time to experiment. And I did. I repressed myself for too long. Coming out was the best thing for me. I may have been kicked out by my parents, but my siblings stood by me. Richard and Michelle are amazing.”
“That they are. So, you guys going to do Christmas at our house this year or New Year’s?”
“Richard has been hiding something. I think he finally has realized Kari is cheating on him. I expect him to be on my steps in the next month or so.”
“I do not envy you for having to tell him what you saw.”
“I know. I had to tell him, though. Though he denied it at first.”
“Richard is too good of man for all that. Damn good lawyer, too.”
“Yeah, he gets justice for the little guy. He could be rolling in the dough as a defense attorney. He had enough offers, but he stays with the prosecutor’s office. I wonder if he knows Jay Clossen.”
“You know Clossen? I mean, good job saving him, didn’t know you knew him.”
“Not really. He was a year ahead of me in high school. He was the popular boy, jock, good grades without trying. Though he let everybody think he was an idiot himbo.”
“Himbo?”
“Male bimbo. Shelly and Rachal’s daughter taught me that word. Did you hear they started fertility treatments to have a baby? And they just got approved to adopt their foster son! They will have a sixteen-year-old, twelve-year-old, and a baby soon!”
“That’s great! They are great parents. They took that angry girl and adopted her. And now Charlotte is a happy, bubbly, Goth teenager.”
“Tell me about it! I did not know how much of a culture Goth was until Char explained it all to me. Just like I can name all the Pokemon because of Jeff. I wonder what the baby will teach me.”
“Probably how much work a baby is.”
“Nah, I know that from Dee.”
“Who knows, maybe the baby will teach you that you need your own little rug rat.”
Arcas was laughing as the rest of the team came into the kitchen.
Alister went from friend, practically brother, to boss in a blink.
“Hey, smells good, Boss!” Pete plopped himself next to Arcas.
There will mummers of agreement as they all made plates.
“What is up with the meeting?” Dylan asked as he sucked in a noddle.
“With the fire we came from being a murder and arson case, we will be working with the police in regards to it. Just give them the information they ask for, when they ask for it. That said, we are now on high alert for other arson cases. You know if a person sets a fire once they will again.”
“We will be busy. An arson and murder? Add to that the full moon tonight and Mercury probably in retrograde, people be crazy.” Sean stated as he helped himself to seconds.
The others all winced. Scientific or not, the full moon brought out the crazy people. They would be busy all night.
“Eat where you can. Nap where you can. We are only five hours into a twenty-four-hour shift. And you are right. The crazy ones will be out!” Alister ordered, and sat back with his own plate.
Arcas sat and ate, but he could not get his mind off Jay. And he also could not throw off this uneasy feeling that everything was just beginning and his life would never be the same.
He just hoped he was wrong.
