Solstice
On a vast open field in the heights of summer, a girl dances. She spins and chants to the sun with her arms thrown wide open and her bare feet finding their own rhythm on the grass, her white dress catches the air, glazing her calves with every turn. When she leaps and her ten peacocks leap with her, their jewelled heads bobbing in time, and her coily brown hair bouncing at her jaw with each landing. The sun falls on her brown skin, glistening on her sweat where they gather on her collarbone and temple, this is what she loves the most.
She and her peacocks dance on the empty field as though they had staked their claims upon it and the land itself has agreed, In this ceremony with the sun, eight out of the ten of the peacocks have their tail feathers fanned towards the heavens, their iridescent eyespot coloured blue and green catching the light, as though the birds knew to show off their beauty as well. A knight in clunking uniform stumbles upon it all and stops dead.
‘What wonderful madness is this?’
The maiden halts mid-spin, every peacock lowers its feathers at once. All turn to face the knight.
‘Excuse me’ the maiden calls, wide eyed and peering. ‘Are you lost?’
‘I– I strayed away from my company for a moment,’ she said, gesturing vaguely behind her. ‘The heat made it impossible to keep my wits and our guide kept droning on and on and–’ a short laugh escaped her ‘I stole away. I’m Hector’ she added, walking forwards now, scanning my face as she came.
‘And what is your name?’ she said, outstretching her hands as she drew to a stop before me.
She’s tall so I have to tip my chin up to meet her. Fair skinned, short haired, a knight I’ve never laid eyes on before. Her shoulders are broad from combat training and I find myself wandering, what she looks like when she fights.
I glance down at her hands, then back up at her face, and return to myself. I blink, brush my damp curls from my forehead and take her hand.
‘Soleil.’
She softens visibly ‘What a lovely name. And what house do you hail from?’
‘A yeoman one. Apricity’ I answer swiftly.
‘I confess I have not heard that name before.’
‘We are quite small in number’ I say, dipping into a small bow. ‘My family has no known figure yet, we are only just now setting out to make our mark upon the world.’
‘Ah’ she says, nodding, as though it satisfies her. ‘My family is of the Lardner line. Knights, all of us, hence I became one.’ She seems relaxed now, at ease, her gaze resting lightly on my lips.
‘Then you are not from this land’ I blurted.
‘Ha! No, I am not. I sought a posting away from my province, I wanted grounds to stand on that was my own you see. Away from my family’s meddling. My brothers have Gastor well in hand without me, so when I heard there was an opening here, I took it without hesitation.’
‘Have you been a sworn knight long?’ I questioned.
‘I have trained since my squirehood, my spurs were earned back in my home province. I am a proven knight, though I’ll have to show my worth here.’ She pauses.
I smile and say nothing.
‘You should come see me’ she continues, almost shyly. ‘I’ll be performing at the investiture rites before the royal household.‘
‘Yes, I knew the new recruits were riding in today’ I said lightly.
‘Are common folks permitted to watch the oath rites?’ Her lazy eye settled on me, she wasn’t cold, just not offering a smiling.
‘Yes, there’s a public gallery set aside for– for folks like us. I’ll find my place’ I replied.
‘Good, I’ll look for you in the crowd.’ A quick pause. ‘But what are you doing out here, truly? Tending to your peacocks? Are you farmers?’
‘Yes, that’s right.’
‘I ought to return to my company, they will be searching for me by now’ she muttered, and began to turn.
‘Goodbye Soleil.’
‘Bye Hector.’
Hector turns and walks back towards the treeline. Soleil drops to a crouch in the grass, three of the peacocks waddle forward obediently, the others already drifting apart to chase each other through the field.
‘Hector,’ she tells them very seriously, ‘is one of the new knights coming to serve the kingdom. Isn’t she something?’
The three peacocks respond indifferently.
Then she remembers, and clasps her hands ‘Oh Goddess Solaris, forgive me, the interruption was not of my making.’ Soleil then gathers her birds to herself and returns to her praise to the waiting sun.
…
I make my way into the amphitheatre in my pink bejewelled gown and take my seat among the royal benches, five rows above the arena floor, the whole court can be seen at a glance. My hand settles on my lap and my back straightens.
The knights file in below, a clean single line that fans across the sand into a broad rank, and they bow as one towards the throne. I hold myself perfectly still and fix my gaze on Hector, willing her to feel the weight of it, to look up and find me, but nothing. I tell myself to be patient.
But patience has its limits. I shift slightly on the bench to be seen but Hector’s eyes are fixed on the commoner gallery.
‘Come on look up at me’ I murmur beneath my breath to not alarm father beside me. My father turns to me at the moment, his face open and proud, and I return his smile with all the warmth I have. My bodice has begun to feel tight.
The knights reassemble, breaking formation to take up their positions for the proving display, they pair off. And whatever restlessness has been sitting in my chest begins to quiet itself, because Hector fights exactly as I imagined she might.
She is swift, swifter than she looks given her broad shoulders, she does not simply endure blows she answers them. Defending and firing in the same breath. Not many knights do that. When the rounds turn to choosing arms she handles herself with the same authority, I find myself leaning forward without quite meaning to.
But one thing still bothers me, does she not recognise me? I don’t suppose I look too different from when we met, I am wearing rather more silk than when we met, and my hair is pinned. My lie served its purpose rather too well.
The evening draws to a close. My father rises and delivers his speech with the full warmth of a man who has genuinely enjoyed himself. The new knights stand tall in the spotlight of the arena below. I have instinctively drawn myself back, content to not be seen.
And then he calls for me.
‘My Daughter, Soleil’ he says ‘is our land’s very own divine intercessor. She communes with the Goddess Solaris on behalf of all who dwell within these walls she will carry your requests into the light. Your petitions are welcome and she will see you through.’
Now Hector’s eyes are furrowed on me.
…
We take our leave so the knights may complete their ceremony and mark their registration in celebration. I’m glad for Hector, sworn in, planted here in Sephora soil where I may find her again.
My Father falls into step beside me.
‘How went your communion with Solaris yesternight?’
‘She was generous’ I told him. ‘She bids me remind the Kingdom that harvest season ahead is hers to bless, the people ought come in gratitude before petitions. And there are three families I have been given words for. I’ll see them by the morning.’
‘Good. See to it swiftly, my darling.’
‘Yes Father.’
I head to my chambers. The hour is late to seek Hector out, she will be among her new brothers and sisters in arms, drinking and laughing through the night as soldiers do after victory. I will send a fruit basket up to the knight’s quarters tomorrow.
I turn to the nearest guard and tell him to send for Medora, quickly.
Her knock arrives just outside my door.
‘Come in’ I call from the middle of my canopy bed, she opens the large door and walks into my room, tall, full figured, wearing her maid’s uniform short just how i like it, a folded cloth over one arm and a bucket of warm water in the other. Her eyes glance at me, then she sets the bucket beside the bedside table. I move to the edge of the mattress, one hand reaching towards her without a word. She takes my hand, then places a firm hand on my shoulder and pushes me into the bed, I let myself fall, she climbs up above me.
‘Good evening princess’ she murmurs, her face close, her thumb tracing my jaw. ‘I aim to serve you very well tonight.’
‘I’m counting on it’ I breathe.
Then she moves downward.
Medora takes her time, and I feel the press of her mouth before I’m prepared for it, my knuckles curl, I raise my fist to my lips, press them against my teeth to hold myself quiet.
Her mouth tracing the full terrain of me without hurry, as though this is a ceremony she has practiced and intends to perform well. When she brings her fingers into it, two at this time, curling inward with a searching, insistent patience, then finding the place that makes my hips lift off the mattress entirely. I stop fighting the sounds and simply let them be; melodious and hers to have drawn out of me.
She works with the single-minded dedication of someone who takes genuine pleasure in her work, and I feel the warmth build in slowly gathering waves inside me until it breaks, and I come apart, gasping, one hand pressed over my own mouth and the other fisted in the sheets.
For a long moment I simply breathe.
Medora wrings the cloth in the warm water and cleans me with the same attentiveness she brought to everything else, before gathering herself, straightening her uniform, and slipping out with no more ceremony than she came in with. The door closes softly behind her.
I lie still, staring up at the canopy.
Then fold my hands and close my eyes.
‘Goddess of our land, keep us in your care as we sleep, and bring us back to your light with the morning’ And I let the day go.
Each Kingdom is held in the hands of a Deity, we of Sephora count ourselves among the most beloved. Our Goddess is Solaris, She Who Governs the Sun. She is generous in the way that only the eternal can afford to be: unhurried in her warmth, abundant in her blessing, patient with our harvests. It is she who teaches us, through the simple act of standing in the light, that life was made to be felt and not merely endured. And from that comes everything we make: our theatre, our music, our vibrancy, our songs. We of Sephora do not forget it. We carry her name in our mouths like a blessing we are never done giving.
…
The sun comes in through the window, the moment the maids draw back the curtains the light falls on her face, Soleil lies still for a moment, slowly blinking her eyes open. She closes them again.
‘From the power that dwells in me, I call upon thee, Solaris, Goddess who governs the sun. Pour forth your light upon us this day. Bless us as we go about your work. Find us worthy of the warmth’.
A beat of silence. Then she scrambles out of bed.
She makes it as far to the door before she remembers herself. She stops. Breathes. Reaches up to straighten her linen sleeping dress. Then she walks, at a measured pace, down the corridor towards the kitchen.
The kitchens are already deep in their morning chaos when she arrives: clattering, the smell of bread and something herbed and complicated on the far hearth. The moment she appears in the doorway every maid in the room straightens. Hands still. Eyes drop.
‘Good morning, Princess.’
Soleil winces slightly as she is not fully awake yet, waves a hand to release them back to their work, Medora and Odette glance at her expectantly. She drifts through the busy room entirely unbothered by the noise and the mess of it, moving from station to station, bending close to murmur instructions to the maids. It takes the kitchen staff only a moment to understand that she is not here to extend any private invitations this morning. She is here for a fruit basket.
The realisation circulates quickly and quietly, the work is done before long. The basket, dressed in cloth of deep violet, is placed into her hands. Soleil looks down at it and her face brightens considerably. Whatever remainder of sleep in her eyes departs.
She leaves through the back of the kitchens.
The garrison sits away from the main household, across the rear courtyard, and Soleil crosses it with a light focused pace, to not draw attention, seeming to believe she is invincible. She passes by her dear peacocks pen and two of them escape to walk with their owner, waddling behind her. The knights outside the garrison, sharpening their blades or attending to their armour, turn as she passes, the greetings pour in.
‘Princess Soleil! God’s light, you are radiant this morning — ’
‘Princess — I’ve been meaning to seek an audience for a prayer petition — ’
‘Please come to me at the temple’ she replies to each of them in passing, brisk and gracious all at once. She does not stop walking.
She finally lays her eyes on the person she wants to see most. Hector. At the far end of the garrison yard, bent at the waist over a bench with a piece of cloth, working at it with focused attention.
She approaches just enough to be seen, Hector straightens abruptly, startled, ‘Princess, what brings you to the garrison?’ Soleil flashes her eyes charmingly, ‘come and meet me behind the quarters’ she says, and turns back the way she came.
A beat passes. Footsteps follow behind her.
Soleil halts at the agreed spot, ordering her birds to quiet as they squawk and peer at her. Hector rounds the corner and draws to a stop at the sight of her, whatever composure she had gathered on the way slipped entirely.
‘Princess. What brings you to the garrison?’
Soleil extends the basket ‘I brought you this. To congratulate you on your investiture’.
Hector stares at the basket, then at Soleil, as though waiting for it to explain something.
‘Princess Soleil’ she begins, her voice very careful, ‘you are– you are truly a princess? Of this kingdom?’
‘Yes Hector.’
A long pause ‘Then, why did you deceive me?’
‘I didn’t deceive you’ Soleil says, at once. Seeing Hector’s expression ‘I simply… withheld. You were a stranger– for all I knew you were an advance scout of a kidnapping party. And there I was all alone in an open field with no guard and no — ’ she pauses and settles into a small, deliberate pout ‘I’d have been entirely powerless.’
Hector, visibly disarmed, exhales. ‘I– forgive me, Your Highness. I meant no offence.’
‘Non taken’ Soleil extends the basket again. ‘Here’.
Hector does not take it. ‘Princess, I– I am grateful, truly. But the articles of our order do not permit us to receive preferential favour from the royal household. It would not sit well with the others.’
Soleil tilts her head, thinking for approximately half a moment. ‘Then I shall simply have to not be obvious about it’ she says pleasantly, and deposits the basket into Hector’s arms. She turns to go and does not look back, her peacocks follow.
Hector stands in the narrow gap between the garrison wall and the open yard for a moment, holding the basket wrapped in violet cloth, then walks back inside.
‘The Princess has sent provisions’ she announces to the room, setting it down on the nearest table and unwrapping it briskly. ‘It is modest, let us see it goes around.’
The news reaches Soleil before she has made it back to the main hall. She receives it with a small nod and keeps walking. The thought of Hector distributing her gifts, carefully, to everyone, how generous.
…
Mother Solaris, bless our works this day.
Lead us with your full and golden glory.
We are your children, we are your own.
Warm us, keep us, shed light on our darkness.
She draws each foot with deliberate care against the stone floor, her spine held straight, because she is always being watched, she has been trained to carry this role as a column is trained to carry a roof: with grace, without complaint. She is our divine intercessor. She is the one touched by light, luminous golden thread connecting our mortal needs and the ears of the Goddess. We rely on her for things we cannot see ourselves. Soleil cannot let us down. She knows it.
The inner sanctum is cool and amber lit.
The morning sun filters through high narrow windows so that it falls in clean across the floor. Soleil sits at the low table at its centre, composed and still.
A woman enters — middle years, plain dress, her eyes looking particularly exhausted as someone who has been worrying for a long time.
‘Peace be unto you’ Soleil says, quiet and even.
‘I — I have a problem, Your Holiness.’
‘Solaris asks what troubles you, child.’ A pause, Soleil’s voice softens, filling it with warmth. ‘All who enter this house are children. Speak plainly’.
The woman speaks. Her son; fourteen summers, stubborn as weather — has been gone three weeks. She believes he left. She cannot understand what she did wrong and she cannot sleep over it.
Soleil closes her eyes for a long moment.
When she speaks her voice carries fullness, like the wind lending it resonance.
‘Solaris says this: the child did not leave because you failed him. He left because something in him has not yet found its name and he could not bear to be not knowing. Give him time. Keep the house warm and the door unlocked. He will find his way back when the way back feels like grace rather than defeat.’
The woman’s breath comes out of her all at once, shaking. ‘Thank you, Solaris. Thank you. I’ll do just that.’
She rises to go. Soleil tilts her face upward slightly, eyes still closed.
‘Solaris — watch over this child, wherever the road has taken him. It is a hard thing to be young and confused. Shine some light onto the path that leads him home.’
The door opens again. Soleil looks up.
Hector.
‘Peace be unto you,’ Soleil says, same tone, same stillness. ‘What brings you to the sanctum?’
Hector remains standing, and looks as though she is conducting some internal argument. ‘I am — newly posted here. I like my position. There are simply certain things that have unsettled me since my arrival, and I find I cannot quiet them.’
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‘Go on’.
‘The Princess — yourself — ‘ Hector stops. She tries again. ‘I met a maiden at a field who I was drawn to. Then she became a princess at the investiture rites and everywhere else. Now I am standing before an intercessor in a temple. I cannot work out which of them I am addressing at any given time, and I do not know how to speak to someone when I do not know who they are.’
Soleil regards her steadily. ‘Is that all?’
Hector blinks. ‘No. I apologise. That was not all I came to say.’ A breath. ‘I would like to pray for someone. A woman from my home province. We were not fated for one another, but she was a good person and she was taken in her childbed last winter. I would ask for peace for her. Wherever she is now.’
Soleil’s expression shifts to something quieter.
‘We grieve with you for this loss. The heart does not require permanence to feel the weight of an absence.’ She inclines her head. ‘Solaris, receive this woman into your light. Grant peace to all who mourn her. Help us to find, even in loss, the bright side of life you have always promised us there is.’
The room is quiet for a moment after. Hector exhales slowly.
‘Thank you, Your — ’
But Soleil is already rising, and her face composed for public arrangement, and she moves through the sanctum door with her chin up and her step measured.
Soleil walks out with her head high, walking swiftly but controlled, focused on the exit.
Hector follows.
‘Princess Soleil.’
A light touch against Soleil’s arm. Soleil stops. She looks down at the place where the touch landed. Then she traces the arm upward, slowly, until her gaze finds Hector’s face.
Hector bows ‘Your Majesty. I owe you an apology for my manner in the sanctum, I was ineloquent. I am still untangling the many facets… of you, and I spoke before I had finished thinking.’
Soleil’s expression softens, just slightly.
‘You are the kingdom’s treasure, that much was apparent to me from the field,’ Hector continues, with effortful sincerity. ‘I wished to befriend you. But I find I cannot work out where I would stand in your world, and the information I have tried to gather since has not been… clarifying.’
Soleil’s eyes sharpen with interest ‘what did they say?’
‘Things I cannot repeat, Your Majesty’ Hector bows slightly
Soleil laughs, bright and unguarded. ‘Come to my chambers this evening, I will have a word sent that the princess summoned you, no one will question–’
‘That’ Hector says carefully, ‘is precisely the sort of thing I heard about. Your Highness.’
Soleil goes very still.
‘You have a– reputation, Your Majesty.’ Hector is looking at the floor now. ‘For luring women to your chamber.’
A long beat.
‘Very well’ Soleil says pleasantly, ‘then I shall come to you.’ She turns and walks out of the temple.
The sun is extraordinary today, warm, direct, falling on her exactly right. People pass, some nod, some stare. That interaction stunned her and she cannot quite put a name to it. She is not accustomed to people speaking that blatantly to her face. Yet Hector said it, and what of it, she thinks. She shakes her head once, firmly.
It is better to leave it alone.
Her carriage waits at the end of the street. She steps up into it, settles against the cushioned seat, and the driver turns for the palace. The sun follows her all the way home.
…
‘Your Highness you sent for me’ Hector’s voice calls from beyond the chamber door.
Soleil looks up from the book open on her table and goes to the door ‘I did. I need a knight to accompany me out. Come.’
She does not elaborate on where.
They walk at leisure through the castle grounds stopping for travel provisions and then start on a journey. The paths start appearing worn as they approach trees at the forest edge, Hector recognises the path immediately.
When the field opens up to them, Soleil walks into it familiar, fully at home, she turns to Hector, her face alight, and arms open as she introduces Hector to her secret place.
Soleil takes Hector’s hands and draws her further into the field, then she lets go.
The princess disappears, Soleil runs farther into the field and throws herself to the sun, spinning in the air with her arms flung wide, landing and launching again before the grass rises from being bent beneath her feet. She moves through the field like the weather, like something that cannot be contained, spinning, leaping, running wherever her feet are positioned. Hector stands at the edge of it in awe at the bewildering sight. As Soleil jumps, pollen rises alongside her in combination with the careful beams of the sun forming a gentle glow outline around her, Soleil really is blessed. She runs around like she is excited to be back in her abode, like she has been waiting to be here to let loose. Hector wonders if her life is a constraint on her, which is why she seeks this domain to let loose? It still is a very pretty sight.
The sun drops down towards the treeline now, now mid afternoon. It seems Soleil has tired herself out, as her pace eases. Hector found a patch of levelled ground and settled onto it, the cloth with their bread beside her knees, just waiting. Soleil drops to the ground beside her, close, smoothening her wind-wild curls from her face with both hands
‘What do you think?’ She looks at Hector ‘It is so nice out here’. Hector is not entirely sure it was a question but answers it anyway. ‘it is’ she says, nodding. Soleil turns suddenly, jolting her face in front of Hector’s, close, searching, as if to be threatening ‘You should have joined me’. They are inches apart, searching each other’s eyes. Hector has been in the princess’s company the whole afternoon and it had not felt like this.
‘I– I did not want to intrude’ Hector stutters ‘it seemed you needed the space’.
Soleil sits back, settling onto her outstretched hands behind her, her face tipped towards the dimming sky, smiling with content. Hector looks at her, noticing the sweat on Soleil’s face cool and dissipate in the evening air.
‘Do your roles weigh heavily on you?’ Hector spoke before revising her words, now questioning them. ‘Forgive me, you need not answer that’
‘It is all right’ Soleil replies, soft and untroubled.
Hector turns to face Soleil fully now, ‘You are as if so many different people in one, a different person every time I encounter you. Does it not grow weary? Is that why you come here, to be free?’
Soleil is quiet for a moment ‘I was named after Goddess Solaris’ she says ‘and I was born on a Solstice morning. The prophecy had been written that I’d be the intercessor, I was just born to live it. It was hard to grow into but Solaris proved her love for us, and I in return, submit to her presence. Every four days I go to her in prayer and praise, to keep her close to this kingdom.’
She looks up at Hector with her wide eyes not smiling, Hector cannot gauge whether to pity her.
‘That is a tremendous weight to put on a person’ she says finally.
Soleil opens her mouth in astonishment and gasps, she looks up at the dimming sky ‘Goddess are you hearing this?’. Then to Hector, still half laughing ‘It is what I was born for’. Her eyes drop briefly at Hector’s lips before rising again. ‘It is my purpose. Everyone within this kingdom carries a role. And it does not feel like a cage, truly. I love the Goddess, she gives me peace and happiness in her presence. And this place’. Soleil says, patting the ground beside her.
Hector is mesmerised by the sight in front of her, Soleil belongs in the world in this forest, the trees breath in time with Soleil. ‘Who are you in this moment?’ her mouth moves ahead of her better judgement in Soleil’s vicinity, as though something in her has decided the usual caution does not apply here.
‘I am the girl from the field’ Soleil replies simply ‘that is the one I like best’
‘I love her’ slips from Hector’s mouth.
Soleil’s gaze swings to her, amused, reading Hector’s face then lets it go without a comment.
After a beat.
‘It is growing dark’ she says, rising from the grass and shaking the stems from her skirt. ‘We should head back’.
‘Yes’ Hector gets on her feet, gathering their clothes and the remains of bread. They both walk back through the treeline side by side.
…
As I open my eyes, thoughts of Hector swarm in, filling my mind. Thoughts of her mellow demeanour coming undone as she cannot maintain herself around me, her particular squint as she tries to read me, her intense focus on me like I occupy her mind as she does mine. It’s rather sweet, rather kismet.
My Queen Solaris, she thinks, looking at the canopy, what am I to do?
She closes her eyes.
‘From the power that dwells in me, I call upon thee, Solaris, Goddess who governs the sun. Pour forth your light upon us this day. Bless us as we go about your work. Find us worthy of the warmth’.
She lasts until mid morning.
Then she sends for Hector.
Hector moves through the unfamiliar corridors of the castle’s residential wing, searching for the room where her attendance was needed. She walks toward the princess’s room, its door slightly ajar, a hand reaches out and pulls her through it.
‘Soleil!’ Hector gasps, catching her balance.
‘I am glad you found me.’ Soleil has her back against the door, Hector between her and the rest of the room. ‘I could not stand the distance anymore, I wanted you near me and couldn’t find a good reason to call. I would have you abandon your post entirely and stay by my side if you’d allow it.’
Hector’s breath is slightly uneven. ‘Princess. What is it you want from this encounter?’
Soleil’s chin lifts ‘I want to feel what I see in your eyes when you look at me Hector. I want it in my body, not just in my imagination.’
For one suspended moment Hector stands still then smiles.
Her hands find Soleil’s waist and pull her in.
Unable to meet the princess’s eyes. Her fingers find their way beneath the hem of Soleil’s skirt, and when they reach their destination Soleil’s head tips back against the wall and her arm goes around Hector’s neck. Hector watches her face, with the same focused attention she gives to everything that matters to her. Soleil brings her forehead to rest against Hector’s and closes her eyes, absorbing it all, the warmth of another body, Hector’s fingers working patiently and steadily.
Soleil’s hips find the rhythm. And chases it faster.
She pulls Hector’s neck closer when the pleasure deepens, when Hector finds the place inside her that makes coherent thoughts impossible, sounds escape that she does not care to suppress much. Her legs rise on their will, locking around Hector’s waist, jolting, urging her close and deeper, Which Hector obliges, she continues the pace with steady hands while Soleil comes apart against her, entirely undone.
When the last wave passes Soleil falls against Hector, panting, and Hector kisses her. Before turning them both towards the bed, hands gentle as she guides the princess’s back until she sinks into the linen with her arms outstretched, Hector follows. Their mouths find each other again. Hector’s hands resume their careful work, slower and drawn out until Soleil arches upwards one final time, releasing a long breath.
She lies afterwards looking peaceful as though she had just awoken, smiling as though free from problems.
‘Hector.’ Her voice is still slightly breathless. ‘I ought to have known a knight would be thorough’.
Hector blushes.
They settle, Soleil repositions herself against the headboard, Hector follows lying against her. Soleil runs her fingers slowly along Hector’s collarbone. The room is warm and still.
‘Princess.’ Hector’s voice is quiet. ‘Am I simply another maiden to you? To be enjoyed and forgotten?’
‘No darling’ without hesitation ‘You are different.’
A beat.
‘Then tell me how.’ Hector turns her face upward slightly. ‘How am I different from the others? What would make me– more than that?’
Soleil’s fingers move up into Hector’s hair, tracing slowly. She says nothing.
Outside the window the sun stands illuminating.
Later.
The amphitheatre is full and loud, when I take my seat above the arena floor. The knights have taken to the field in full vigour, as they work through their training bouts with real force and hunger not treating this as a pretend round. I am relieved the weapons are blunt, I couldn’t bear the sight of Hector hurt. I bring my knuckles to my lips and press it gently, watching.
Of all the loud noises below, courageous song chants, calls of hawkers crying their wares along the outer aisles, knights charging at each other. I hear Hector’s grunts clearer above all others. Hector illuminates in my eyes. I lean forward against the gallery rail for a better view. I can see the sweat on her skin catch the light from here, I can see the way she moves through a fight. When Hector focuses on something, the rest of the world ceases to exist for her entirely.
I am nearly jealous of her opponent.
Solaris, I think, my knuckles pressed to my lips, watching Hector run at her adversary with terrifying lovely purpose. My heart beats for Hector, I did not ask to and I cannot seem to stop, and don’t particularly want to… She’s the only one I see in the sea of many others.
…
I wake up to pray.
‘From the power in me, I call to Solaris Goddess’ Hector focused face flashes through my mind.
‘Solaris, Goddess that rules the sun to’ Hector’s golden brown hair in the sun.
‘Goddess pours sunshine and blesses us’ Hector !!
Soleil’s eyes fly open, she gasps for air, and is met with her canopy ceiling.
‘Goddess Solaris, what do I do?’ She turns over then turns back again restlessly.
‘I should tell father about us!’
Soleil kicks the coverlet away, beaming as she runs down the corridor into her father’s study. The door creaks open.
The king looks up from the table at the sound of the door.
‘Father, I have conversation to make with you!’
‘With the council? Word from The Goddess? What news do you bring?’ The King bellows.
Soleil drops to her knees in front of his desk.
‘Forgive me father!’ She clasps her hands, already dewy eyed. ‘I fell in love with someone I did not intend to fall in love with. A passing dalliance that became something else entirely, I can not let this one go, Father.’
A long pause.
The king sets down his quill and exhales, ‘there had been observations of sightings, a pattern of favouritism towards a particular knight’.
‘Hector, Father. Of the Lardner line, newly sworn to our garrison. She is exceptional, in all respects’.
The King sighs through his nose ‘Rise, child. Well at the very least you did not bring me a maid’. He lets out a laugh.
Soleil bites her lower lips.
‘Bring this knight to me then, as it is my blessings you seek.’
‘Thank you, Father.’
A little later…
Hector enters the princess’s room finding Soleil already turned towards the door expectantly.
‘Hector’ she starts. ‘I spoke with father today and told him about us.’
‘You what?’
‘He wishes to meet you properly’.
‘Why? Why would you do that?’ Hector barks.
Soleil snorts ‘it is merely formalities, he already knows who you are’ She moves towards her and takes both her arms gently ‘it is to get to know you more’.
‘He could have my head!’ Hector peels away. ‘A knight of foreign descent pursuing the princess.’
‘Carlisle’ Soleil says. ‘My third brother fell for a girl of yeoman birth, and she lives amongst us. You are a sworn knight of this garrison, Hector, you are more considerable than that.’
‘How does a future with me look like? Have you thought that through?’ Hector barks carelessly. ‘I wanted to take this slowly, to be in each other’s lives, without being the subject of every tongue in the court.’
Soleil moves to comfort her ‘My father is only interested because you make me happy.’
‘I did not mean to make you afraid’ Soleil says tearfully.
Soleil hugs Hector and buries her head in Hector’s shoulder, and she cries quietly into her shirt. Soleil speaks ‘Do you know why I love peacocks, because they do not shy away from being seen’.
But Hector peels away, pacing.
Her eyes are teary, she wipes them with the back of her hands then looks at me. She begins to walk towards me, I stand arms open, ready to accept her, but she walks into them then past them, to places both her hands on either side of me at the edge the desk, leaning peering at me, I turn my face to the side, now all she sees is my jaw, Hector inhales and starts to plant lips on my tear stained cheeks, moving slowly, then rubbing her face on mine so tenderly. I soften against her touch. I turn my face till our lips touch, a simple kiss turned deeper, I feel her warm breath as she exhales into my mouth.
She turns me over so she sits on the table, without a beat I follow, I pull myself unto her, kneeling over her, she leans back, smirking then extends one hand back on the table and her other hand goes around my neck, holding me close, I grab her face with both hands and our lips meet each other again, pushing and retreating, playful with our kisses.
Hector’s hands move downwards. I cover my face with my palms knowing what is coming next, but Hector stops.
‘I will meet your father.’ Hector says with a low but steady voice. ‘Let us see what comes of it’.
Outside, the sun is fully risen. It falls in through the window in one clean bar of light reminding us of the everlasting presence of the Goddess.
