Character Info:
Choi Hyunsuk as Kael
Park Jihoon as Bry
Yujin as Alexa
Chaeyeon as Rina
Asahi as Miko
KAEL’S POV
Here we go again, I sighed for the nth time as I wipe away the sweat that formed in his skin as he enjoyed the night partying it all again.
Bry, until when will I care for you like this. I sighed again, habang patuloy na pinupunasan ang kanyang maamong mukha.
Ilang minuto pa at naramdaman ko ang kanyang mga kamay na pumipigul sa akin. “Kael?” he muttered as he opens his eyes groggily at time and that made me laugh for a bit. He smiled all so charmingly and I felt my cheeks warmed out at the very thought na I’m the reason of such smiles.
“I didn’t know that they would call you out again for tonight” he said and I chuckled “As if naman no. Tsaka we both know that you’re such a baby kapag nalalasing” I said and he chukle himself. “I’m just you’re here by my side Kael. Thanks a lot.” He said at patuloy na humiga sa lap ko.
Ito na naman tayo, I hummed in my mind. Bry and I have been best buds ever since the start. Its just one day we clicked and since we’re on the same neighborhood masasabi mong we grew up literally together. But we’re on different schools nuong highschool, then we discover na parehas kami nang universities na pinapasukan. We’re graduating this year tho nasa iisa kaming university we’re not usually hanging out lalo na ay mag kaiba kami nang group of friends.
He belongs to the popular clique while I belong sa mga average students lang. Those peeps na walang presensya ikanga. Pero we’re both satisfied with that since we can just hang around each other sa aming free time.
“I just miss her so much Kael” I felt my throat tightened at his words. Sino nga banag niloloko ko. I blink the pain away kasi hindi naman talaga ako.
I continue to wipe his face with the washcloth “I know I should have let it go already; it’s been three months pero it feels so empty without her by myside Kael. Do you know what it feels like?” he asked and I just hummed. Completely listening on his rants kasi ganito naman palagi.
After he drunk himself away, kapag nakapag sober up na sya konti he will now share his woes away. And I as a best friend of his or maybe isang martyr na tao ay pakikinggan lang sya. Kung gaano nya kamahal si Alexa, and how can’t he live without her.
Alexa’s been his girlfriend simula nang freshman years, both are taking business administration and Bry fell in love and courted the girl and a few weeks after sinagot narin naman sya. They’re considered the IT couple of our university. Parehas over achievers, parehas na maganda at gwapo. They’re the couple na hinahanggan talaga nang lahat. Kaya everyone was surprised when they learned na they broke up.
Rumors started to spread na Alexa is transferring sa States because of her family and the rumor became the truth when one of the student saw her sa Dean’s office holding her record files and the Dean’s words of “Take Care Miss Alexa, I know that you’ll achieve great things out there. Don’t be scared to spread your wings and fly up dear”
And with that on the university forum hindi rin nagtagal at naiform na ang lahat sa nangyari. Bry was left alone, as Alexa chose her promising future sa kabilang mundo. Ever since she left madalas nang nasa bar itong kaibigan ko na ito.
His friends always call me at night telling me na sunduin ko si Bry as he’s making a mess and like a month drawn into a flame. I always, always put him on the top of my priority list.
Hindi ko naman ginustong magkagusto sa best friend ko. It just so happens na ganun na nga ang nangyari.
“Hindi ka naman nakikinig eh” he pouted and I chuckled right, I’m with him nga pala.
“hmmm, sorry I’m just thinking of something” I said and mas ngumuso pa sya “Ano bayan or Sino bay an?” he asked and napatawa ako “Don’t mind it to much, anyways nangangawit na ako sige na pumunta ka na sa guestroom don’t forget to change your clothes kung hindi mo kayang mag shower pa” I reminded him at patuloy na tinutulak sya patayo.
“Bakit kaya hindi nalang ikaw?” he said as he stood up. Napahawak ako nang mahigpit sa washcloth na kanina ay pinangpunas ko sa kanya.
“Stop that Bry. Hindi na nakakatuwa” I said and he hummed. And looks at me “Sorry, uncomfy ba?” he asked and I shook my head “I know you don’t mean it Bry. Don’t hurt yourself” I reprimanded him and he only pats my head “Kael, why don’t we try it though? Di kita pipilitin pero kapag hindi nag work edi hindi” he said as he used his killer smile on me.
“Bry naman, wag mo ko idamay dyan sa kolokohan mo.” And he just chuckled at patuloy na pumunta sa guest room. Praying so hard na hindi nya mapapansin ang pamumula nang buong mukha ko.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
“Tsangala si Akla more than one-week na yang free coffee mo sa umaga ha” pangaasar nang aking kaibigan na si Rina. We’re both entering the Art Department nang nakasabay nya ako sa hagdanan ganun din naman si Miko na naghihintay sa pagdating namin. Tinaasan nya lang ako nang kilay sabay nguso sa hawak kong coffee at nginitian ko lang sya nang tipid.
In the end he sighed, he’s perfectly aware kung ano ang kaganapan namin ni Bry. And it’s already been more than a week of uhm as he said “Dating” ewan ko. Hindi ko talaga alam na tototohanin ni Bry yung sinabi nya that time.
Nagulat nalang ako na palagi nya na akong tinatanong kung nasaan ako, may pa breakfast or dinner at times. Then hindi na natigil yung pagpapdeliver nya nnag coffee sa condo ko every morning. One-time akong nahuli ni Miko and he asked me what’s up. So I told him ano yung mga nangyari.
He warned me of course, sabi nyang gumising daw ako at on the way na daw ako sa pagiging rebound. I said na hindi naman kami aabot sa ganun kasi alam kong hindi naman magtatagal yung pagiging ganito ni Bry sa akin. He just said na I should ready my heart for a heartbreak.
Grabeng inspiration and motivational quote diba. Napaka brutal.
After two months of our set up akala ko talaga ay titigil na sya, na hindi aabot nang ganito katagal itong set up naming. Kung dati ay patago lang kaming nagkikita or kapag weekends lang ngayon ay lumalabas na kami. Nanunuod nang movies, nag a-arcades, madalas na rin syang nalalagi sa department namin. Hatid, sundo narin nya ako. And he’s being clingy kahit pa na nasa public kami.
Tao lang din naman ako, masisisi nyo baa ko kung nahuhulog na naman ako nang paulit ulit?
Na nagbabakasakaling this time around time ko naman?
Na ako naman?
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
“Oh taray ni Kael oh, ngiting ngiti tayo dyan ah” Pangaasar ni Rina sa akin habang nasa cafeteria kami. Miko’s already seated and is finishing his lunch. He nodded in my direction acknowledging my presence. “Syempre paanong di ngingiti yan eh yung all time crushie cakes nyan nag pabibo sa court eh. May nalalaman pang “this one is for you Kael Loves” sabay nag shoot at saktong buzzer beater. Taena ingay nang gym kahapon eh, hanggang ngayon daming inggit dito kay bakla. Sana all” Reklamo nya pa na kinatawa ko nalang.
“Ay speaking of the devil and he will come talaga” Pang s-segway ni Rina at nakaramdam naman ako nang halik sa aking sintido and I smiled widely when he wraps his arms around my shoulder. Sabay siksik sa aking leeg.
“Tangena oo hello, hangin talaga kaming dalawa dito” Pagmamaktol ulit ni Rina na kinatawa naming dalawa. “Ang OA Rina ha” rebat ko sabay taas nya nang palad sa akin “Walang karapatang mag salita ang nilalandi sa harapan ko. Bwisit kayo”
“Sus inggit ka lang eh” Miko teased at ngumuso yung isa “Talaga Proud ako dun no, Medyo may peyboritism si lord nim eh. Bakit ako walang jowaers eh yung dalawa kong kaibigan sobrnag busog na busog sa pagmamahal. What about me lord” Sabay tingin sa kisame nang cafeteria
“Sabi ko naman sayo nandito ako Rina Sweety pie” napatingin kami lahat sa dumating. It’s Jake, one of Bry’s buddies. Unang pagkakakilala nil ani Rina ay talagang mahangin na ito.
Tho totoo naman na type nya itong si Rina, by his own words nga ay an love at first sight daw sya.
“Love” bulong nang nakapalupot sa akin “Yes love?” I asked back “Baka late ako makauwi ngayon, Gusto daw mag celeb nung department dahil kahapon” and I chuckled “Sure love wala naman akong problema dun” I said and I felt him leave ghost kisses sa aking leeg.
“Huoy Bry, kalian ka pa naging lamok dyan. Tigil tigilan mo yang kaibigan ko at may klase pa kaming tatlo. Hindi kami match nang foundation gaga ka”
“Well why the need to conceal it tho?” he asked back na napatigil kay Rina “putaena ka Bry, sige bahala ka na. Putcha” sabay kilig syang hahampas hampas kay Miko na halatang nagpipigil bago sabunutan si Rina.
Get MISS TSUNDERE’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
I put my palm on his lips “Ahahaha sige na at malapit narin ang mag bell, aakyat na din kami maya maya. Una na kayo, alam kong mas maaga yung afternoon class nyo kaysa sa amin” he nodded and I felt his kisses sa palad ko. And I can only blush out here as he chuckles in delightness. Kainis na Bry yan masyadong masama sa puso ko.
Our life continued peacefully yung fear ko na baka panagip butas lang ako ay Nawala na din as months passed by. Being love by Bry felt like a dream to me. Sino bang mag aakala diba, na akong dating nagkakagusto lang sa kanya ay nar-reciprocate yung feelings finally.
But there are times, times where I can notice his stillness lalo na kapag naoopen yung about kay Alexa. Di naman sya big deal, lalo na kapag inaasure nya ako regarding her. Alam kong it will take more time kasi syempre mas minahal nya nang matagal yung tao.
And I will wait, wait patiently for him to give his heart to me openly. I trust him with all of my heart. Ganuon ko sya ka mahal eh.
It’s our graduation in a week and I’m out sa mall with my friends nagkayayaan kaming bumili nang gifts and bumili narin nang pwede naming gamitin sa naturang araw. I asked Bry if he wants to come with us pero he rejected my offer. May pupuntahan daw silang magkakaibigan.
I miss him na kasi sobrang hectic nang schedule nila since graduation na kaya naman ay busy sya. Hindi ko na rin sya masyadong nakakausap lately. I asked him na nga kung may problema pero he just kissed my worries away at sinabing wala naman. And he loves me and all that. I felt appreciated and assured once again. Sigh, to be love by Bry.
“Oh ayan, ayan na naman yang ngiting nangiinis” Rina pointed at me na nginitian ko na naman “Just shut up” I said at saktong magsusumbong pa sya kay Miko. Tatawa na sana ako when I saw a familiar figure in a distance.
Is that Bry? Akala ko nasa University sya ngayon. I texted him and asked him kung nasaan sya he replied back na nasa university. Kasama ang mga kaibigan. I sighed a relieved sigh. Baka naman talaga namalikmata lang talaga ako. Hindi ko nalang din pinansin at inenjoy ang araw na ito.
Matapos ang pamimili naming ay we bid goodbyes to one another, ako naman ay patuloy na naglalakad towards the parking lot dahil I drove my way papunta dito kanina.
“Bry, why are you doing this? Ang gulo mo. You said you’re going to wait for me?”
Bry? I looked forward and in the deeper corner I saw two familiar figures sa harap ko. Naramdaman kong umikot ang buong mundo ko but Nawala akong magawa. Natuod ako sa mga nakikita ko
“Bry, here me out. Alam mo na I did that for us right? I asked my uncle sa US he said na he’ll be preparing a position for you after the graduation. That’s what I said diba?” Alexa continues her hold on his arms tightened “Bry, don’t do this naman”
In my view, I could see that Bry is taking it hard. I could still see in his eyes na he cares for Alexa. I mean alam ko naman. I knew it at the very start.
“Is it because of that Kael?” I saw him tightened his jaw “Don’t Alexa. Walang kinalaman si Kael dito, leave him sa conversation natin” she laughed “Ganun na baa ko kabilis kalimutan Bry? Are your promises empty and is your love that shallow? Three years naging tayo Bry. Three fucking years don’t tell me ipagpapalit mo ako sa panandalian lang. Tapatin mo nga ako Bry, do you still love me?”
“yes”
And that’s when I felt my world crumbles in my feet. Dali dali akong pumasok sa sasakyan ko dahil alam kong narinig ko na ang mga dapat kong marinig.
I knew that.
Of course, I knew
Fuck hindi ko alam na ganito pala kasakit to. I tried to keep my tears at bay dahil ayokong makasakit nang ibang tao sa pagiging tanga ko sa daan.
Tanga nga nga sa pag ibig, tanga pa sa daan. Aba ayoko naman makadoble no.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
After that day, I tried to ignore Bry’s calls and messages. Naduduwag oo pero hinahanda ko lang din siguro ang sarili ko sa ending naming dalawa.
I realized na maling mali ang pagpapasok ko sa kanya sa puso ko. Maling mali, lalo nang alam kong may Alexa pa na humahawak sa kanya. I know naman na minahal or mahal din naman ako ni Bry. Of course, I know that. How he acts, his words, how he looks at me. I once saw all of those nung Nakita ko syang mag mahal kay Alexa. That’s why hinayaan ko na din ang puso kong mafree-fall sa kanya. Kasi alam kong sasaluhin nya ako.
Ang mali ko lang ay nagmdali kami parehas. Akala ko kasi wala nang babalik, akala ko kasi ay ako naman.
“Okay ka lang” I woke up out of my day dream nang sikuhin ako ni Miko. I smiled tightly and nodded “yeah, kinakabahan lang” I said in reply. Parehas na kaming nasa venue ngayon at naghihintay nalang. We’re both waiting for Rina as of the moment kaya naman napukaw ang atensyon namin nang biglang may nag sigawan.
There they go. I muttered to my mind. It’s Bry and Alexa together with their family.
I Felt Miko’s hands on mine and I just shook my head as I mouthed “I’m fine” he frowned at that “You knew?” he asked back “I saw them last week”
“Hiwalay na kayo?” and napatigil ako. Napatingin ako ulit sa dalawang pumasok at saktong nag tama ang mga mata namin ni Bry. I could see the guilt in his eyes. And I just smiled at him “Congrats” I mouthed. It may be because graduation na or it can also be because of his continued romance with Alexa.
I really don’t know but all I know na totoo ang sinabi ko sa kanya. I am congratulating him with all of my heart. Ilang minuto pa ay nagsimula narin ang ceremony.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
Dalawang oras din ang tinagal nang graduation, each of them is celebrating the day with their family as I can only look away. My parents are in London at nagkaroon nang problema kaya naman ay hindi sila nakalipad pabalik nang bansa. I’m also following along after the graduation, maganda narin sigurong ganito ang mangyari sa amin ni Bry. With a bitter smile on my lips I went out the exit at nagulat akong may biglang humila sa kamay ko.
With a wide stride from the man halos tumakbo na ako masabayan lang sya. Nangmakalayo kami sa mga tao hinarap nya na ako sa kanya. The guilt in his eyes tells it all.
“I’m sorry Kael” he started “I… I didn’t want it to be this way. I love you Kael, I truly do. Believe me, all I did. All I said its all true. Kael kaso. This is really. I’m sorry”
I patted his hand that’s been trembling as he held mine. Embracing the time na meron kaming nalalabi para sa isa’t isa. I smiled at him, sweetly at that. “It’s okay Love.” I said at Nakita ko ang gulat sa kanyang mga mata “Hayaan mo muna akong tawagin kitang Love ha, susulitin ko lang hanggang sa huling sandal.” And I saw a tear drop from his eyes na agad ko naman pinunasan “Don’t be guilty love. Alam ko naman na mahal mo din ako, sadyang mas mahal mo lang talaga sya. I didn’t feel betrayed or anything kasi talagang nauna sya sa buhay mo. Nauna mo syang minahal kaysa sa akin. Sana lang ay pinaalam mo sa akin nang maayos. Yan lang siguro ang maitatampo ko sayo” I chuckled “Love, tandaan mo ha. There’s nothing for you to feel guilty for. Alam ko naman na may posibilidad na mangyari ito, sana pala ay hindi ko nalang inisip baka namanifest ko pa” iling iling naman syang hawak hawak ang mga kamay ko sa pisngi nya. His tears flow in my hands as I share my words.
“Love, Bry mahal na mahal kita. Kapag mag aaway kayo ni Alexa wag mong idaan sa alak ha. Ayusin nyo nang maayos. Wag nyong patataglin ang away nyong dalawa. Wala ako sa tabi mo para punasan pa iyang mukha mo. Be free my love, do what you want Bry. Whatever happens I’m always here for you Love. As I said you don’t need to feel guilty or anything. Nagpapasalamat pa nga ako sa oras na binigay sa akin kasama ka eh, who would have thought I will enjoy the last year of college with you diba? Salamat sa pagpaparamdam nang pagmamahal mo Bry. Salamat sa oras mo, sa aruga mo, sa mga pagluluto mo at sa pagmamahal.
Those time is enough for me — — for us. Sa yugto nating dalawa. Sadyang hanggang ganuon siguro talaga ang panahon nating dalawa and I’m grateful for it.”
I smiled as I continue to carres his cheeks.
“Love” I said and he looks at me. “Love” paguulit ko, as I hear a familiar voice on the background. Alam kong hinahanap na rin sya. So with a smile on my lips I said “I’m letting us go na….. I’m letting you go” at hindi nagdalawang isip na nakawan sya nang halik.
The last one I will ever have with him. A kiss full of love and tears as we celebrate our love away from the people. The only witness is the sun setting in the horizon and the whisper of the air around us. With a last look from his face, a last caress on his face trying to memorize his face. Burning it in my memory I nudge him forward as I hear her voice coming closer.
“Go na Bry, don’t let them wait for you too long” and with the last kissed he gave to my temples “I love you” he said and walked forward to the calling voices.
Don’t look back, don’t look back. I kept on repeating inside my head. Praying na wag na syang tumingin pa. As I let myself breakdown as I saw him walk away from me and towards his future.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
“Can you look at this Mr. Kael?” I looked at the design Marie is showing me and I nodded at approval “That’s actually good, why don’t we put it on the list as well?” I asked and she smile delightedly excited na patakbong pumunta sa cork board to pin her design.
It’s been seven years since I graduated and build my own fashion house in London. Time and opportunity have been on my side and business is booming. After the graduation I booked a flight at nagsimulang makipag sapalaran sa aking career. I cut off every communication I had with my friends. Sa mga naging kaklase ko even from him.
I deleted all of my social accounts and tinago ang dating kong sim. Besides I won’t be needing it anymore. Tutal ang buhay ko naman ay nandito na sa London.
I’m happy truth be told, nasaktan oo pero I really didn’t blame anyone sa mga nangyari. I didn’t regret anything at buong puso kong tinaggap ang lahat. And you know guys, I learned to be kind to myself, to put myself first, to love myself and be stronger for me. Nagmahal, nasaktan at natuto.
Totoo naman talaga na hindi lahat nang pagmamahal ay natatapos sa happy ending nyo, hindi natatapos na lagi kayo ang end game. And that’s fine. That is life. Mahirap, at masakit pero kailangan pag daanan talaga. You need to experience it, to take all the lessons you can get sa naturang experience na iyon. Don’t be afraid to love, to keep your doors open the moment you heal.
I learned to be patient towards love and I know balang araw meron talagang para sa akin, at kung wala mang darating ay okay na din. Masaya na akong naranasan kong mag mahal at mahalin.
I’ll live happily for me. I muttered as I feel the wind caress my cheek, remembering the ghost touch of his.
