</Relationship of CMD>

A Mixtape Memoir

What the early internet built inside the people who built it.

00PROLOGUE

Where should we START?
Maybe we’ll just time jump a bit.
ZRRRRP!

Q2 2004 Crashed out of an online dating start-up. All good.

Really thought the world was ending during the dotcom fallout.
No more logo branded golf shirts, no more catered surf & turf, no more bottle service nights — what the hell is going on?

2004, yeah I decided I wanted a break. So quarter drink nights and half priced Applebee’s Adventures it was. A month worth.

Then my RAZR rang…

“Steve Dillard with Matrix Resources” ♦︎an agency that never found me any work. “Was looking at your profile and thought you’d be a great fit for this project I have out in Addison. GE Capital Finance.”

My portfolio & resume were littered with companies that were on their last legs or that no longer existed. I viewed this as an entry into the corporate big leagues.

Length?

“One month,” said Dillard.
♦︎this will look great on my portfolio

I’M IN!

No interviews and two weeks later I was assigned a desktop and a window office.

Three days into my contract they hired me full-time as their first and only Senior UI Architect.

No more late nights & weekends burning through start-up cash. No more risky endeavors. Wasn’t seeking career validation. I wanted Windows 98 2nd Edition levels of stability & peace.

By the end of the first week I had introduced what I called “quick links”.

You see GE had 10+ financial portals that didn’t link or talk to each other. Even though some of them shared the same data sets & source. Quick Links was a simple Flash based widget that was hardcoded and dev could implement easily across app portal headers.

Not dynamic, but an instant hit that established thought, collaboration, and trust.
I would later go on to win the Edison Award for an enterprise financial reporting portal, but this isn’t about that.

To find out what influenced me to become a consultant we have to jump to 1997.
ZRRRP!

I’m 17 years old, serving popcorn in a movie theater, and GAP khakis are fucking in!

Don’t give a shit what Tyler Durden thinks.
I get fired for going to a concert instead of working a double during Batman & Robin opening weekend.

2 weeks later I’m this temporary Network Admin Scrub for a mail order pharmacy distribution warehouse and one of the SUN mainframes blew up.

“You Know Computers?”
-Yeah.
“You’re hired!”
[IT Interviews 1995–2001]

Operations came to a halt till the IBM guys showed up. Slick suits, matching backpacks, and all the answers.

They immediately set-up a “war room”. Diagrams posted all over the walls. Chunky Thinkpads and what seemed like a bottomless coffee pot.
Whole effort lasted a little over 24 hours and none of us left.

At some point one the IBM guys asked what the hell I was doing there and was informed that I was a temp.
I get it. These dudes probably had kids my age. ♦︎I was also hourly..
My only significant contributions during this imbroglio was rebooting terminals and ordering pizza.

“Where can we get a good steak around here?”
They asked after things were patched up.

Powered by zero sleep we ended up at a steakhouse 20 minutes away.
They briefed us on what was done and what needed to be done, picked up the check on a corp AMEX, and flew back North.

Maybe influenced isn’t the word. It changed my perspective on IT and nobody saw me in khakis ever again.

ZRRRP!

Q4 2001 I’m settled into a webdev role with Verizon(VZ). Started as a contract then forced to convert to full-time or be let go.

This moment made me realize we weren’t returning to a pre dotcom bust world. Funding had dried up, nobody was out there risking it. But I was thankful to not get caught-up in all the “rightsizing”.

When I think of my VZ phase; I immediately think of Office Space.
Matter of fact it was filmed around the corner.

Cube farm. 9–5. Soulless. Migraine as soon as you hit the parking lot.

Colleagues respected my experience & knowledge, and direct managers & most execs knew I didn’t belong.

A race car trapped in a school zone.

I’ll circle back to what I actually did there, but for now I want to focus on what I was doing outside of VZ life.
Gym, Xbox, and MTV Jackass.

I wasn’t happy.

I missed the high visibility & stakes of the start-ups I was previously at. The energy, innovation, the rapid priority shifts, and the potential to make a fortune.

Then one rainy November evening my Charlie’s Angels Nokia rang.

“Swing by my office sometime this week. You need to see what I’m working on.” — Lola

In “LolaSpeak” that means come by right now!

Lola del Valle was one of the first recruiters to take me seriously when I turned 18. Her & her husband owned & operated separate staffing agencies in Dallas.
Working whatever project she had; helped pad my experience and raise my rates.
I trusted her and she trusted me.

Get to her office, catch-up, then she starts showing me blueprints & leasing agreements to this spot out in Denton ♦︎College Town 40 miles from Dallas.

“I’m opening an internet cafe.. Well I’m backing it.
Steve Becker is going to run it.”

-What does this have to do with me?
“Need you to help with the website & branding. We already have the domains.”

-Give me a day to think about it.

Drove away pretty proud of myself. For the first time I didn’t immediately cave to Lola’s pressure. She was extremely persuasive. Sure she was proud too.

Plus I knew I was going to do it. Just wanted her to sweat a little. And the only thing I knew about internet cafes was from The Beach with DiCaprio.

And who the heck is this Steve Becker Guy?

Few nights later I found myself back at Lola’s with Becker on speaker. Witty hardware guy. Older. ♦︎Everybody was always older. I was 21.

After intros he starts going into details. “30+ desktops, dedicated T1, energy drinks, hourly rates…”

-What y’all calling this place?

“Xtreme Bits & Bytes”

“If you’re not playing at Xtreme, you’re playing with yourself.”

I shoot Lola a look like “is this guy serious?”
She wraps the call.

“Whatcha thinking?”
-I mean it seems like..
“Wait! Do you want to be a partner?”
“Keep your full-time, just help Steve with operations.”
“We’re going to franchise this thing.”

-I’m in.

We broke ground Q2 2002, with a soft opening planned for mid-Summer. Lola & Steve had picked out an excellent location in an established shopping strip that had heavy UNT foot traffic and an oversized parking lot.
Honky-tonk country bar, Thai place, burrito joint, laundromat that served booze, a plasma donation center.
Had everything but a high speed internet cafe.

A former tailor/cleaners, we had a huge glass window store front & door. eXtremely welcoming.

Steve was overseeing construction & buildout. Permits, vendors, and whatnot.
I was set to launch the site and was engaged with local print shops to negotiate rates for t-shirts, banners, flyers, and other merch & media.
Lola cut checks.

Website was a hybrid HTML iFrame setup with Flash navigation & elements.

♦︎Photoshop, Dreamweaver, Notepad, Flash, Fractal Design Painter, Swift3D, HTML, CSS, JavaScript, ActionScript.

Needed to be dial-up friendly & scalable to support events, news, tourneys, and anything else we could imagine.

My daily commute between Ft. Worth(Home) ➜ Coppell(VZ) ➜ Denton(Xtreme) averaged 100 miles.

In a lifted Wrangler TJ; it just wasn’t feasible.

I made the executive decision to move from Ft. Worth to Denton.

Xtremebits.com was a successful launch and by that I mean my Grandma Lupe could navigate it with ease. She was my first Beta tester. She was my Oracle.

With work at VZ on cruise and Xtreme going as planned; I found myself a 1 bedroom 1.5 bath unit, a healthy walk from town square and a 3 minute drive to Xtreme.
“Look & Lease” special, so I received a FREE 1 year gym membership.

♦︎This was also my very first apartment.

With Becker in the Coppell burbs and Lola in North Dallas; This positioned me as the goto.

I was also the only one out of us three that wasn’t financially independent. Them making me a partner felt like an unofficial early invitation to the club.

To this point I had sacrificed r̶e̶l̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶s̶h̶i̶p̶s̶,̶ ̶f̶r̶i̶e̶n̶d̶s̶h̶i̶p̶s̶,̶ ̶f̶a̶m̶i̶l̶y̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶n̶t̶s̶ ̶&̶ ̶m̶i̶l̶e̶s̶t̶o̶n̶e̶s̶,̶ ̶S̶p̶r̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶B̶r̶e̶a̶k̶s̶,̶ ̶b̶a̶s̶i̶c̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶w̶h̶o̶l̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶t̶h̶.̶ Everything.

I was all in with sweat equity and needed this to work.

Back at Verizon(VZ) I may have held the title of Web Developer, but it was more like Template Designer.
Team of 40 people tasked with transitioning/converting businesses from the phonebook (YellowPages) to the internet (SuperPages).

I’ll be the first to admit that I wasn’t the most humble at the start.

“You’re completely overqualified, but I think you can teach my team something.” — Allen (VZ Hiring Manager)

He was eventually right.

Like I stated about 25 paragraphs ago; The dotcom investors were gone and in hiding. Took the VZ offer at a massive salary cut in hopes I’d be out quickly.

A/C repair, barbershops, plumbers. Any & everything listed in the phonebook would soon have an online presence.
You’d come across sales tickets that were basically blank.
Sometimes you’d come across tickets that were a dental office funeral home that really cared about their image & brand.

Those were my favorites, because it felt less cookie cutter.
A number of times, I’d get assigned escalated accounts because a “designer” just couldn’t deliver.

I’d work with sales & call customers to make sure we were in sync. Rudimentary stuff.

Not going to get into the 7 levels of hell that VZ management was, but I will say that leaving that parking lot was the highlight of my day.

The move to my apartment in Denton was a breeze. Bed. Big Screen. Loveseat.

By the time we got around to testing things at the cafe; I was never there much anyway:

M-F
6:30AM — Alarm Set
6:31 — Snooze
6:45 — Scream at ceiling
7:00 — Gym/Run
8:15 — Head to VZ office
9:00–9:15 — Scream in parking lot
Noon — Just cry
4:50 Leave office
6PM — Arrive at Xtreme
|
Midnight — Close up/Lock doors

Sat — Sun
9AM — Birds wake me up like a Disney princess
9:59 — Arrive at Xtreme/Unlock doors
10:45 Ask Steve why he stopped by. Get no answer.
1:30 Grab a burrito next door.
2:00 — Tell Steve to stop avoiding his family and go home.
4:30 — Steve leaves.
|
Midnight — Close up/Lock doors

Guess you really have to understand our dynamic.

Steve was ex-army, but never discussed it.
He did talk about the Mojave desert and Area 51 a lot.

He had a son & daughter, but only ever talked about his son’s football.
He lived in the burbs and had another property/storage/bunker.
Was always warning me to never get married, but I could tell he really did love his wife.
Prior to the internet cafe he was a network engineer. His demeanor reeked of old money; no matter how much he tried to hide it.

Xtreme was his mid-life passion project, so imagine his surprise when Lola brought me in as a partner without his permission or blessing.

Took the launch of the website for him to realize I wasn’t a “Spy” for Lola, but I did share the same vision as him.

The Grand Opening of Xtreme Bits & Bytes High Speed Internet Cafe was a few days out and the small town hype was real.
Spec’d out & overclocked — we had the best performing rigs in all North Texas. Pair that with a dedicated T1 and it was the best Lan party around. Zero-lag!

“BRING IN THIS FLYER FOR 1 FREE HOUR!”

You’re probably wondering what the hell made me qualified to run operations. Even if you’re not, I’m gonna tell you.
I’ll make it quick.
ZRRRP!!!

Summer 1998 I turned 18, passed some typing test that dunked me in the very deep end of a tech support job. ISP(Internet Service Provider) named Flash.net.

I’m responsible for getting Americans Online…
I’d also troubleshoot hardware and whatnot.
But I mostly helped curious husbands clear their Netscape history.

One night I’m pulling a double and a very drunk VP comes stumbling in with a couple of prostitutes because he wanted to give them “a tour of the server room.”
The board voted to send him to rehab and he was never seen or heard from again.
Everybody at that place was full of shit, so I learned from them.
I’m q͇u͇a͇l͇i͇f͇i͇e͇d͇ because I’m full of shit.

Being honest here. PC gaming is for dorks, yet here I am days away from opening a PC arcade. “Cafe” was in the name, but we weren’t serving lattes. We sold every flavored Mountain Dew under the Sun, Jolt Cola, RedBull, BAWLS, and bagged snacks and candy.

Walking into Banana Republic and buying whatever is on the mannequin was my fashion motto.
Flat front charcoal slacks and whichever pastel button ups were trending. “Dress how you want to be treated.” Yeah I was young, but strived to be treated like the seasoned pro I was.

Being new to this college town, I felt like I needed a new guise.
Polos, jeans, and Cole Haan driving loafers should do the trick.
Sure I looked relaxed and less like a MiCocina waiter, but inside was like — you ever have those fried twister chips from a fair?
Well I was the spud attached to the drill.

Hadn’t seen any of my friends or family in months, but my birthday landed around Xtreme’s Grand Opening. Being the efficient man I am, I decided to combine the two.

It was a defining moment. Every person I cared about or that cared about me was there.
Even some associates from VZ.

Black high traffic carpet with neon accents.
Black leather-ish gaming chairs.
Aluminum CPU cases with one transparent side, so you could marvel at the glowing fans and all the magic.
Midnight blue & purple walls.
Black ceiling tiles with a big yellow 3D X.
You would think we were already franchised.

That was the point. No corners were cut and every part of the build was meticulously documented to roll out new locations as quickly as possible.

Hugs, handshakes, and high-fives.
Xtreme Bits & Bytes High Speed Internet Cafe was officially Open For Business, but the real work was just getting started.

And remember

“If You’re Not Playing at Xtreme, You’re Playing With Yourself.”

01 HOOYA

$5.95 for one hour of play or $20 for the whole day.
Open 10AM — Midnight 7 Days a Week.

Not everyone was there to play.
Technically we had 40 machines.
1 was dedicated to video conference calls and another to movies, music, and burning CDs.

Steve opened M-F while I sold what little left there was of my soul to VZ. I’d get to Xtreme around 6PM and tell Steve to go k̶i̶c̶k̶ ̶r̶o̶c̶k̶s̶ home to his loving family.

I’d open on weekends and would hit the town with a back pocket full of flyers if he came in.
Bookstores, pawn shops, tattoo parlors, bars, and the bar next to that bar.
Our concept was so foreign that we weren’t seen as competition.

We were the new family-friendly dork arcade in town.
A friendly place where your 9 year old could get Funyuns & RedBull for breakfast.

I mean it wasn’t unusual to have a posse of pre-teen boys waiting outside by the time I rolled up to open.
Well-mannered with crisp bill$ and ready to PWN the day!
Except for Russell. His mom’s number was taped to the phone.
Russell wasn’t allowed RedBull.

02THE STARS@NIGHT

One benefit of moving to a small town was less light pollution.
A/C in the Jeep worked when it wanted, so the top was off most days.
By the time I locked doors it was a ghost town and the only time I wasn’t in a rush. A 3 minute drive home would turn into a 15–20 minute cruise as I discovered new routes back to my apartment.

First floor, 2 stories, pool, and a laundry mat view.
Next door neighbors were a late 20’s newlywed couple that were always arguing. Always.
One night I came home and all his stuff was thrown across the lawn. Stayed out of it.
Then there was Johnny. Old. Drunk. Rented there for years. Mechanic. Wife took him “for everything”. Always had a sixer of tall boys and he reminisced about his annual complex cookout that he hadn’t hosted for years.
Name of the place was Mack Park.♦︎Should an Indie Director find this.

Across the street was an abandoned Food Lion. On my block was a corner convenience store that had a surprisingly excellent wine selection.
A little further down the road was the primary source of my Salisbury Steak Hungry-Mans & hot pockets; Piggly-Wiggly.

They knew my name, but it wasn’t long until they referred to me as “The Internet Guy”. They were the nicest staff on the planet and it was a pleasure to know them.
Now back to this internet guys story.

03NAPS ARE FOR WINNERS/THROUGH IDLE WORLDS

Moonlighting at Xtreme made the fluorescent bulbs at the Verizon office a little less soul shattering.
The teams were vast and backgrounds were varied: Recent grads, art institute hotshots ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶n̶’̶t̶ ̶m̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶a̶n̶y̶w̶h̶e̶r̶e̶ ̶e̶l̶s̶e̶, old heads making the pivot from print to web, folks just collecting checks or waiting out retirement and everything in between.
Egos & differences aside, we all agreed on one thing; VZ management was the fucking worst.
To see what made them so atrocious we have to go back to

1876:
Alexander Graham Bell patents the telephone and kills the carrier pigeon industry. For good.

Know what? None of this matters.

FOR THEY HAVE SOWN THE WIND,
AND THEY SHALL
REAP THE WHIRLWIND

4:47PM: Already changed into my Xtreme casual wear and sneaking out of the office.

Packing a change of wardrobe shaved time off my trek.
No pets.
No plants.
No stopping.
Utilities were like $30.00 a month.

It took a few weeks, but even Steve swapped his picnic table plaid shirts & double pleats for what I’ll call bowling league couture.

From Day 1 Steve had installed a webcam in the corner that had a full view of our store.
From the entrance to the back counter — where you’d find his bank lobby grade popcorn machine, his Mr. Coffee(that stored his fav day-old coffee), our microwave(required by law), our cash register, and my favorite; our phone. Big. Beige. With a cord that could wrap around the block.
No clue why Steve was so anti-cordless. Was tired of asking.

Either way he had suggested a page on our website that would stream the webcam 24/7.
Cool in concept. Creepy in execution.
I built it.
Then I gave it a timeout.
“So parents can check on their kids.” He’d say.
Xtreme Daycare.
It’s true. Outside a few adults; it was mostly a young crowd.

Until we decided to throw a keg party.

04XPANDER.MP3

DOOM, Quake, Space Cadet Pinball was the extent of my PC gaming. Always equated my PCs with work, so I preferred consoles.
Street Fighter, Tekken, Gran Turismo, PGA Golf. That was my thing.

I showered at least once a day, wore designer, played sports, subscribed to Maxim, and had girlfriends; Hell, I dumped my long term GF(s) to pursue this partnership because I viewed relationships as a distraction.
What I’m trying to say is I was a douchebag.
World of Warcraft, Everquest, squads, clans, planning raids. All that was like C++ to me.

I kept this hidden well because I never sat down to play. You’d either find me on my own Toshiba working freelance projects, updating our site, or on our media machine burning mixtapes.

Reached out to some buddies about having a kegger and it wasn’t hard to make the cafe look like the place to be on a Saturday afternoon. I mean who doesn’t want FREE beer 30 miles away?

We had been open about 3 months at this point, so had some regulars and other business owners there. It was a toast to the neighborhood. Thanks for the support.
Behind all this Steve was looking for sales people and I was scouting for an intern.
Didn’t find one that weekend.
Lola provided one for us.

05THIS ONE’S OPTIMISTIC

5’3 and fierce is how I can best describe Lola.
Not Prince & The Revolution fierce, but fierce.

High energy. High expectations. High employment.
She had been building her empire long before I was on the scene.
Recruitment, staffing — data entry, admins, etc.
Then she found herself gravitating towards more exotic fields — Design & Development.

That’s how I got caught in her orbit. As our relationship evolved you’d find me at her office late afternoons and occasional evenings.
Bucket of hours here, small project there type stuff.

She ran a fairly lean operation. 7–10 heads. Mostly female.
Except for one guy. 6’2”. All black attire. Dark shades.
Slickest hair in all DFW and surrounding areas.
Lola happily introduced him as “Mr. Money”. My street sense told me he didn’t earn that at Winstar. Didn’t ask. ♦︎Sometimes the less you know the better.

ZRRRP!!

Late Q4 2000: I’m wrapping up a Lead Media Architect contract for dying NetTV company and Lola the telepath has me swing by to hear about a promising project: West End. Start-up. Full-time. Flash Designer. GO!

Morning of the interview I came in early to prep. Told myself I didn’t need it.
“My work speaks for me.”
Just unmatched arrogance. Then she insisted on driving.
Then she sits in on the interview.
It was like a parent-teacher conference.

CEO: “Can you do this?” *swivels monitor around*
-Yeah.
“Do you want a desktop or a laptop?”

*glance at Lola* Laptop.

06WHERE THE SKY MEETS THE SEA

I was able to contain my excitement till we hit the parking lot. A walk-off home run swing & shuffle to her Benz was required. Wasn’t my first time dancing in that lot either.
My new industrial exposed brick & concrete office was located 3 floors above the Starck Club.

Working & playing in Downtown Dallas was a childhood goal.

I was the 10th hire, so that included the usual- benefits, hypothetical stock options, typical start-up stuff.
This was all fine by Lola. What had her guard up that particular morning was the salary.
The offer being negotiated was double what I was at 1 year prior.
She didn’t want funds discussed without her present because she was due a % of my annual as a “finders fee”.
She didn’t have to find me. I was always there.

By the end of the week this 21 year old 2x community college dropout had become the face of Reallinx (set-top box/embedded devices).

The launch parties, sales goals reached, IPO hype, new rounds of funding. We were always celebrating. Until we weren’t.

It was fast, but it wasn’t painless. Overnight. Start-ups, stocks, and investors turned to dust.

Lola was stiffed on her finders fees and other revenue streams.
I was out of my downtown loft deposit and job.

For weeks I didn’t touch a computer. Hit hundreds of balls at the driving range. Admired lake sunsets. Watched planes land at the municipal airport.

Totally. Normal. Behavior.

What if Princess Di stayed a few more days?
What if Bo Jackson ran an inside route?
What if Al Gore didn’t invent the internet?

What if we went public?

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Should’ve gone differently, but it was a necessary pain — like the first time you get hit in the face by a wild change-up.
You’re aware now.
You signal you’re okay as you dust yourself off while choking back tears.
Your pace towards 1st allows the ringing to stop and the stars to fade.
You tag the bag and take a 1 step lead.
Now 2 steps.
Catcher drops.
You steal 2nd standing up because you’re not fucking done.

07WIN_DEX.EXE

Mother of two young children, wife, recruiter, entrepreneur, business owner, luxury real estate agent, well respected & connected.
Lola was a number of things — she was our lone investor and owed a friend a favor.

Which brings us to Pugs. The Intern.

Pugs is who you brought in when you wanted to tank your sitcoms ratings. Like the neighbor from Married with Children.

Pugs was like getting your radio faceplate stolen. Just steal the whole radio, coward!
Pugs was getting home from the movie rental with Brandon Lee’s The Crow and opening it to find Bette Midler’s Beaches.
P̶u̶g̶s̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶1̶0̶,̶0̶0̶0̶ ̶s̶p̶o̶o̶n̶s̶

Pugs were neither 24 nor 34. Didn’t matter.

The Cafe Rules were simple:

08THE MARUCHAN CANDIDATE

My favorite thing about releasing Pugs onto the unsuspecting public was logging into our live webcam to catch him forever breaking Steve’s #1 Rule.
I’d call our beige batphone to watch him mosey back behind the counter then I’d hang up.
♦︎This isn’t a story about me being a good person.

No caller ID, so I’d do this like 5–6 times a day.
Called Lola to pull the Pugs. She didn’t ask why.

Our intern fiasco caught the attention of one of our regulars — and I’m not sure how because he was always stoned.
At 6’4” with the gait of a newborn giraffe and comedic delivery that thought it was edgier than it was- I’d like to introduce Robin.
Robin was a CompSci Senior that lived off campus with his twin brother Ryan. Robin was “older” by 25 seconds and brought it up at every chance.

“Pfft… I can be your intern.” He grew up in Southlake. Had been around since opening. Everquest logo etched into his PC.

“Ditch your pill poppin’ friends, the pothead act, and cut that shaggy hair.”

He returned 1 week later and I couldn’t have created a better intern in a lab.

09GOLDEN TRIANGLE

“Pompous” is how Robin described me. To my face.
That’s what made him a great addition to the Xtreme Team.
Fall Break in a college town was ideal for on-boarding.

Not Geek Squad, but we’d tinker & troubleshoot most issues folks would bring in. Free of Charge!
Reboots, mostly.

Except for Ralph’s shitty Sony Vaio.
Ralph was the GM(General Manager) of the country bar next door. Early 30’s, divorced, shared custody, loud. Not Long Island or Sam Kinison loud — just I scream across a bar for a living loud. Bout 5’11 straight up — somewhere along the line his love for endurance running was replaced with endurance drinking.
He’d been in Denton for a while ♦︎nobody is from there, so in return for fixing his puter problems, he’d introduce me to his Top Rated Greek, Chinese, and Italian spots.
I needed a breather from microwaved meals and also sensed that he was uncomfortable dining alone, so it was whatever.

When he wasn’t hosting Honky-tonk wet T-shirt contests; he was busy inventing shots that made people throw-up.
♦︎Fell victim once.
♦︎Hence the name Ralph. Nobody knew his actual name.

Outside of that just like Lola he minored in matchmaking. And just like Lola my answer was always NO!
Pretty sure they enjoyed my various rejections.

Too focused & busy to entertain dating. Plus I preferred to meet women the old-fashioned way.
By crashing weddings.

10SCIENCE MUMBO JUMBO

“I’m not doing the church part.” was my initial reaction to being invited as a +1 to a friend of a friend’s wedding.

Gym, real meals, balance. A few things I was attempting to win back by hiring an intern we could trust. I had seen the potential in Robin. He just needed to see it.

It allowed Steve to not do shit elsewhere and me to be a more present family member & friend.
Even when I wasn’t welcomed:

📞Interrogated by the Bride’s Sister about a Bachelor Party I didn’t attend:

Shoved fries in his pockets and made him a burger wrapper bowtie. . .passed out. . .Whataburger. . After.. I didn’t ride in the limo.. . What?! Why?.. Who’s Roscoe?. . Oh NO… Gifts wrapped, so probably still going. . . I thought pet ferrets were illegal..

Dressed too sharp to be denied entry was the genius thinking.
Like KMart Thievery Corporation.
The bride’s sister snuck us in the back.
♦︎Our relationship was similar to Lucy & Charlie Brown.

Then sometime between the cake cutting and Macarena we caught each other’s eye.

11ART OF DISCOVERY

Oak. Stone. Taxidermy. This wasn’t your standard venue or hall. More like a Safari Club.
Warm. Intimate. Could do this forever, but I won’t.
Pine. Menagerie.

🕥Music & lights lowered, self-serve coffee station up
She changed into flats, I finally found my jacket and my nerve:

-Nice Place! I yap while admiring her sugar cube tong mastery. ♦︎So fast.

“It is. Her Dad is a member.” She states without breaking focus. ♦︎Member of what? I didn’t drive and snuck in the back.

- So, you know the bride?

“High school dance team.” *slowly turns* “So, who do you know?”

- I’m actually not supposed to be here…
“Oh.. .” *finally clicks* “Poor Roscoe.” *faint frown*

- I had nothing to do with it.

“Right…… I’m Jennifer, but you can call me Jenny.”
(5’3” in flats/Japanese/Brn/Blk/Emory/Atlanta/Running, Dance, Tennis, Music, Art, Celeb Gossip)

🕦Coffee station was down and Val Kilmer’s & Elisabeth Shue’s 1997 sleeper hit The Saint was up:

-Great soundtrack! Duncan Sheik, Underworld, Bowie, Everything But The Girl,

“STOP!! You know EBTG?” *sparkly eyes*

- I mean not personally.

🕛Now strapped in the passenger seat of her moms Acura on a crusade to find the sacred Saint soundtrack.
Border’s, Blockbuster Music, Circuit City, Fry’s, and Virgin Records were closed for the evening, so Walmart was the play.
Unsuccessful, but noble attempt.

🕕Our phones started to blow-up because the bride’s brother was having an after party and we were missing.

“Like the deserts miss the rain.”

12TEMPLAR

CONTROL — 1:Power to direct or regulate
2: Reserve, restraint 3: A device for regulating a mechanism

Why in the World Wide Web would I spend my first full day off in months going to a wedding?

Being a witness to the aftermath of the bachelor party, it was no surprise the shotgun style house was packed. Passing on the cornhole & keg stands, we found refuge in the corner of the dining room.
She had a sincere tone that went up an octave when she was excited, so when she spoke of Emory, life in Atlanta, and how much she missed Texas; I knew what was genuine. Could also tell she was the conservative type, so took solace in the fact a woman of her caliber would entertain a guy like me.
She had charm. She had brains. She had an A.M. flight.

Cuddled on the couch we woke up surrounded by casualties. I escorted her to the truncated porch to say goodbye, because the yard was wet (morning dew), and my shoes were M.I.A.
Back inside I started kicking corpses to find out which was my ride home.

Checked in at the cafe and Robin was doing nothing (just like Steve taught him), so I booted up whatever war game had planes, cuz I loved a dogfight.
Was respawning when my phone rang:

“Hey it’s Jenny. Changed flights. Are you free tonight?”

13REMOTE NATIONS

SIX WEEKS LATER…

[FLASHBACK DREAM SEQUENCE]

Year: 1987

Weather: Stormy night

Location: Sears parking lot

I didn’t know it at the time, but the box Dad loaded into the trunk would change the trajectory of my life.

Kinda had the same rules as a Mogwai; if Mogwai could print birthday banners.

It would be my first time pushing pixels.

First time clicking, dragging, interacting.

And my first time dying of dysentery.

What was in the box was an Apple IIGS.

My first personal computer.

Like football, life’s a game of firsts. They shape you, define you, and if you let them; sometimes break you.

“HEY! HELLOOOOO!!”

I wake up. Sandwiched between the Bride’s Sister (BS) and her Bestie (HB).

“Yeah, she even tried to control how much water I had before meals.”

(BS): “We would’ve warned you about Jenny, but we didn’t know it was that serious.”

“Who’s ‘we?’”

(HB): “We call her Dramatica for a reason.”

“Who’s ‘WE?’”

Putting an end to my first Long Distance Relationship (LDR) with Jenny came with no hard feelings(I think) & planet aligning(Pluto too) perfect timing, because Xtreme just gained its first corporate sponsor and we were in the process of launching our first expansion.

14Q-TICS

Early access beta titles, consoles, life size Master Chiefs. Our Microsoft Gaming Studio sponsorship came with some perks. It also came with people. People that were top ranked Halo pro’s.

This became the café’s new draw.

I’m garbage at first person shooters (FPS), but caught Halo fever like everyone else. The story, the graphics, the score. It was something you didn’t want to be left out of.
And with split screen multiplayer it made it an Xtreme crowd favorite. This would be the foundation we built our first cash tournaments upon.

It would also be the anchor at our new location inside Southern Methodist University (SMU) student center.

Steve had a revolving door of sales staff. One recent grad had solid enough connections to get us into the SMU student center — an abandoned recreation lounge nobody was using. 8 rigs. 2 Xbox’s. 1 Steve.

That was the recipe that worked best for everyone.

Robin & I managed the Denton shop while Steve ran tournaments and his mouth at SMU.

We also sponsored a Counter-Strike Team.

Compute. Compete. Destroy.

15BULLDOG DRUMMER

Like most of America’s large tele-coms, rumors of layoffs started to fill break rooms.

With Xtreme trending upward and my partner salary consisting of only Cokes & Twinkie’s, I had no choice but to become a model VZ employee. Not just for financial reasons but for mental.
I knew myself and simply did not have the cognitive bandwidth to start somewhere new while also maintaining the cafe.

So, I did what a 22 year old in my position would do — I started teaching classes, Lunch & Learns actually:

• Adobe Photoshop: tips, tricks, and macros

• De-escalation techniques (bullshit I learned from FlashNet)

• Introduction to Macromedia Flash (my favorite)

They were an open invite to the entire company.

I mean what was management going to say? “F**k this guy for trying to improve our products & people!?”
Yup. That’s exactly what they did.

With a new title and a microscopic raise I found myself sitting on a few internal boards & committees.

If they had an aquarium, I would’ve built a baseball diamond over it.

16PATTERN AGAINST USERNAME

Becoming an “instructor” introduced me to some new faces and familiar experiences.

That’s where Em & Tee came in, and they played hard. Em was former sorority and Tee was a former pro hockey player. They were the cool cats, the yuppies — they were Marketing.

Em was the ring leader to a circus of 5 other marketing associates. It was like Friends yet somehow whiter and with more Anne Taylor & Kenneth Cole.
Instead of coffee shops — it was hotel bars, mobster steakhouses, French fusion joints, and Gentlemen’s Clubs.

They would include me in this debauchery twice a month. I enjoyed it because it reminded me of the VIP nights out with the dotcom startups. ♦︎Also reminded me to breathe.
Skipping lines, glad-handing bouncers, like Travolta in Swordfish. Except Don Cheadle wasn’t after me.
Maybe he was.

Don Cheadle is after all of us.

I also enjoyed it because they were VP level, and if I wanted intel on any upcoming layoffs, it would be through them.

17SONIC_RINGS.WAV

The Disney birds woke me up an hour earlier than usual so, grabbed a glass of OJ and sat on my rarely used balcony to take in the clear blue skies and relish in the fact that Xtreme survived a full year and were in talks and negotiations with heads at Viacom/MTV, Virgin Records, and a popular Seattle based coffee shop.

Then the phone rang - It was my favorite hands off investor:

-Hey Lola!

… “Did you know?” *sniffles*

…

“How did everybody see it but me?!”

….Get.. Get some rest, Lola.

18SOVIETSPACECAMP.TXT

I had only met Lola’s husband and his assistant a handful of times, but knew something was off. Never said anything because it wasn’t my place or more specifically, my business. Lola didn’t even have to say it, but I knew her funding would be pulled. And it was for what would go on to be a messy divorce.

Lola’s call set Xtreme on a path to close our doors inside 7 months.

23 years old. The second start-up went under for things entirely out of my control.

19FLAGRANTE DELICTO

Through my adventures with the Execs at Verizon I learned that a layoff wasn’t coming, but a voluntary separation was on the horizon.
6 months salary. 1 year full benefits. I accepted the package with zero hesitation and left VZ 1 month later.

Had all December off and received a call from a recruiter on New Year’s Day.
Online. Dating. Start-up. Here we go again.

During the 8 person panel interview, the CEO asked if I was an outside the box thinker.

I told him that “I’ve never been inside the box,” and was hired that day.

I was the 12th person in, so they assigned me an office with a computer already set-up, and a box with a screwdriver on top. 40 minutes later I had a chair.

Lead Webmaster. That was the title. My first projects were redesigning the homepage and relationship compatibility screens.

I worked closely with the psychology and marketing departments to help develop screen flows, prototypes, and the final launch of the profile application process.

As with any start-up that grows to 100 people in two months, runs into legal trouble for poaching talent from competitors, has a married vice president get his assistant pregnant, and an owner who preached about love while marrying someone more than 30 years younger than him, layoffs eventually came and my contract ended.

20DEVELOPING ANTHEMS

Remember Steve Dillard from the 00Prologue? This is when he reached out.

With a look at my 2000–2004 Flash portfolio and no interview, I was asked to sign a 1 month UI Architect contract with GE Capital Finance. After 3 days they signed me full-time.

My ability to create functional mock-ups helped establish a healthy relationship with local and off-shore teams. From Japan, Europe, Mexico, and India I was building applications on a global scale.

Localization was a heavy task. Strong communication was the key.

21BLANKENSHIP

It had been over a year since we closed down the internet cafe, but one Friday night I was out and received a call:

“Hey Lola, whatever it is the answer is NO!”

She laughed.

Recently divorced, she was back on the dating scene, and arranged a blind double date.
I was hesitant, having just ended a relationship myself, but agreed out of support.

She said she was “perfect” for me, which piqued my curiosity.

It was an early November Saturday night. Thunderstorm had passed early in the day, so the sky was creating some amazing colors.

I wasn’t nervous, just eager to get the evening over with. My focus was primarily on my stable career, so I had zero expectations.

As I sat in the corner booth, catching up with Lola and analyzing her date, she arrived.

Felt like time slowed.
She walked down the steps and the overhead lights seemed to create a halo around her.
At that moment, I realized I was exactly where I needed to be.

She had a few qualities I found attractive. Education. Warmth. Athlete. Striking beauty. Plus we were the same age. Bonus was her love for the Texas Rangers.

We exchanged numbers at the end of the evening, followed by lunch the next day, and dinner the day after.

We saw each other every day that week.

By Friday night, we were at my apartment ordering pizza, playing Burnout 3, and talking about a potential future.

A few days later she invited me to her family’s Thanksgiving. Most people would’ve pumped the brakes. I was strangely happy with how fast we were moving.

In the days leading up to it she had invited me to her Wednesday night youth group where she was a Youth Group Leader.
She was Catholic. I was raised Baptist & Catholic, so it was familiar territory, but I had checked out of religion in my late teens for reasons I may get into later. Know what? I’ll just do it now.

When I was 14 my Grandma Lupe was a member of a Baptist Church around the corner from her house. I attended with her every other Sunday and was active in the youth group.
There were rumors floating around the church that the Pastor was having an affair with his assistant’s wife. Sure enough during one Sunday sermon, the Pastor stood behind the pulpit and confessed that the rumors of the affair were true. Grandma grabbed her purse, stood up, and walked out. I followed. Never returning or speaking about it.

Fast forward to me being 16 and having a girlfriend that was deeply Catholic. Her dad was the leader of the men’s Bible Study and her mother participated in the women’s. They were active donors and attended service no less than two days a week. Her father Robert was a carpenter and the sole provider for his wife and 4 daughters. I worked with him a few summers and not only was he well respected, but one of the hardest working men I’ve met in my life.

I had been dating his oldest daughter for over 2 years at this point, so through my working for him, attending church, and just generally trying to be a good guy, I was able to earn his trust & respect. As the school year proceeded, my girlfriend’s younger sisters that were 16 & 15 got pregnant.

When they announced the news to Robert it was about as expected. I was at their house and Robert pulled me aside and asked me to go for a walk. Something he’d never done before. We stopped at his work van parked in the street.
He spoke little English, but in his words, he asked “Why would they do this to me? I’ve given them everything.” This wasn’t broken English. This was a broken man. He quit everything related to church & God and his wife followed lead.

So, here I am 24 years old being guided upstairs to the youth group room by a woman I just met a few weeks ago. Seeing her bright smile, I not only felt welcomed, but I felt safe. I had so many guards up and used my career as an excuse so much that I forgot what this feeling was. It was love.

22MERCI

New Year’s Eve we found ourselves at a rock concert with some of my former baseball buddies and in the midst of them horsing around, the droning speakers between sets, and the kaleidoscope of lights — she abruptly turned to me:

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Was clear, but I needed to hear it again, so mouthed — What?

I WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU!

<Sounds of CMD> ♦︎hit shuffle