One day, I met a boy. There was something unusual in his eyes. He was talking to my friend, curious and perhaps flirting. His eyes held hope, while his body language revealed nervousness.
When I met him again, I sensed something different. He seemed deeper, more intense, as though he was carrying a pain he couldn’t quite express. And honestly, I have always been drawn to people who carry pain, to those who share their struggles and vulnerabilities. Perhaps that was why I found myself attracted to him.
I wanted to know him more, to get closer to him. But a year passed, and I couldn’t even bring myself to talk to him.
Then, one day, gathering all my courage, I messaged him under some pretext. He didn’t reply, but he called me back. We met again and again, yet each time, I felt I was encountering a completely different person from the one I had imagined.
He seemed confused and insecure, someone constantly chasing after things, trying to grasp whatever he could. A successful career, popularity in college, a circle of friends, a love life. It felt as though he wanted everything at once.
And there I was, still searching for the person I had glimpsed beyond the picture he presented to the world. I wanted to understand the person beneath the surface, the one I felt was there but couldn’t quite reach.
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I never asked him directly. Things between us became confusing and complicated, and I couldn’t find a way to explore that deeper side of him.
Later, through our long conversations, I tried to draw out the person I thought I had seen in him. I wanted to hear his story, in his own words. I wanted to understand what he had been through, what shaped him, what made him who he was.
But somehow, I could never become the person he felt comfortable enough to share that part of himself with.
Khila-khila sa tera chehra hai,
Kabhi shaant, toh kabhi gumsum sa tu rehta hai.
Dekha hai tujhe kai dafa,
Par pyaar har dafa tujhse hota hai.
Har baar mera mann tujhse kehne se darta hai,
Har baar mera mann tujhse kehne se darta hai.
Pyaar har dafa tujhse hota hai…
