Spring has Sprung!
I’m supposed to publish a blog today. But I wouldn’t call this a blog, it’s skitter-scattered. It was difficult to decide what to write. My ADHD is really kicking in. There were issues with getting my ADHD prescription filled this week again. And that happened last month makes it a very frustrating ordeal. Thank goodness it didn’t take as long as before to get my prescription filled. What also makes it difficult is my medical insurance policy.
I’m afraid of the stigma surrounding disabilities, like ADHD. But what I also fear is what Audre Lorde said in “Transformation of Silence into Language,” “My silences had not protected me”. Will silence really protect me from difficulties or challenges? In most of my experiences, it has not. Keeping the emotional and physical pain all to myself can be worse than releasing it. Someone told me who was struggling to break bad habits that it’s better out there than staying in here, pointing to his chest. Hiding my scars, or pretending my wounds don’t exist does me an injustice. What if I had cancer and was receiving treatment, or couldn’t walk and was sitting in a wheelchair, wouldn’t I talk about it? Write about it? It does no justice to pretend I’m okay. What if a gym teacher asks a student with one arm to go across the monkey bars? He cannot. Maybe he can cross to the other side by swinging on a rope, like Indiana Jones, or swimming, or whatever. But if the gym teacher insists that he goes across the monkey bars, or he fails gym, then she’s a jerk.
So, I’d like dealing with disabilities in New York City as a focus for my blog. I also have Fibromyalgia and complex PTSD which affect my mind. When many things happen at once it severely affects my mind. ADHD and my other health conditions make my life very challenging. Future blog topics might be: My Misadventures with ADHD, Dealing with the Aftermath of Childhood Trauma. I would like to blog about a turbulent experience I had in February, but I’m waiting for somethings to pan out. Perhaps I’ll blog about it next month.
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Next month is National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo) so I’m gearing up to write poems every day in April. I signed up for several poetry workshops to make sure I do.
I will publish poems every day on my website. On my website, I have a 30 Crappy First Drafts Page, I’ll post my poems there every day as I write them in April, not polished or perfected, but “as is”, raw poems. I may also post them on Instagram.
Spring is finally here. I’m excited about spring. I’m enjoying the longer daylight. I signed up to go birdwatching on Mondays in April. During the COVID shutdown in May of 2020, I made an art piece, called “Spring Comes!” it’s at the beginning of this blog. At that time, I was used to taking photographs, but I decided to dabble in different art mediums. I used markers, fabrics, and a red pen. I was so proud of myself that I even hung it on my wall! I haven’t made any physical art pieces in several weeks. I want to make another one this year about spring.
The link for my 30 Crappy First Drafts Page is https://sites.google.com/view/creative-passions/home/30-crappy-first-drafts
Also, if you want to check out my Instagram for my artwork, or if I post for NaPoWriMo, it’s https://www.instagram.com/renee.bray.cp/
