Season 6
Club: Asane IL. Country: Norway. Division: D1. Expectations: Attain a respectable league position. Finances: £895k. Stadium: Asane Idretspark (5000) Facilities: Adequate. Star Players: Ronny Johnsen and Veigar Pall Gunnarsen,
We bring in Cayman Islander CB, Bryan Larkin. He signs for 65 of your English pounds a week, replacing a poorer player who was on £325-a-week. Norway legend and former Manchester United player Ronny Johnsen comes in, the board are very happy about this transfer. Northern Irish GK David Miskelly joins from Old Ham. Stuart Gray signs on the dotted line after leaving Rushden & Diamonds. Nazarow was a future by the previous manager and comes in from Polkowice. VP Gunnarson leaves Stromsgodset to join our revolution. JG Solli becomes an Asane player after his spell at Odd Grenland. Barkemo leaves OIS and finally Andre Hansen leaves Bodo/Glimt to become the final, maybe, piece of the jigsaw.
I’m also bringing in some youth teamers to bolster the squad and save on wages. The previous management team had a reserves packed with £300+ a-week players, my youngsters are all on £65-a-week, £100 at the most!
As art imitates life, it’s staff I am having trouble with! I only have two coaches, no assistant, one physio and one scout. There is a lack of interested staff that are unemployed. So this is where I may struggle.
My staffing problem reaches a crisis as Bard Flovik, my assistant manager, decides 59 is an acceptable age to retire at. How much was I actually paying him??
We get off to a flying start, netting five times in our opening game. As the 1st cup game comes around we’ve scored seven in three and haven’t conceded. Non-league Stjordals-Blink put up the best fight so far, going down bravely 2–0.
We drop our first points of the season and let in our first two goals in the 2–2 draw away to Fauske/Sprint. We make up for that in the next three games scoring 12 without conceding. Then disaster happens, we’re knocked out of the cup to non-league Orn-Horton, which I’m sure is a Harry Potter character! Our inability to score from the penalty stop, completes a complete and utter Champing!
At least we can concentrate on the league!
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At the halfway point of the season, we’re top but being pursued by Hodd, who we have just beaten 3–0.
Our defence is rock-solid, marshalled by the bloody brilliant Captain Marvel Ronny Johnsen.
Oh! I wasn’t expecting that. Immediate? What straight away? Halfway through the season? You wanna quit, now? Prick!
I pass the armband onto midfield workhorse Mats Barkemo, and sign Stefan Iversen following his release from Spurs. Iversen signs a deal on £600-a-week, but with a £500k release clause, we won’t be keeping him long!
June and July mean the World Cup and France pick up the trophy, beating Argentina in the final, played in Berlin. Palermo and Kily Gonzalez become the Waddle and Pearce of La Albiceleste.
Back in club football, or Norway’s D1, Asane are wiping the floor with everyone. Lindorff breaks the club’s goalscoring records after 17 games.
Things get weird at the FA as Lennie Lawrence, Celtic and Sven, En-Ger-Land, swap jobs.
Lennie The Manager packs his trunk and says goodbye to circus (Parkhead), off he went with a trumpty trump, Wembley Wembley Wembley. (Sort of works, maybe song writing isn’t for me)
We push everyone else aside as we totally dominate the division, Hodd are hot on our heels though.
With two games left we’re crowned Champions, but there’s a sting in the tail. Our captain and DM rock, Barkemo is ruled out for 8 months with a broken leg. This will probably finish him off, he’s 34 and he would’ve struggled to keep his place in a decent top division side.
We top the league and that’s division #3 done and dusted, relatively easily.
End of season stats, Lindorff was top scorer and broke the club scoring record with 27, although Iversen had 12 in 13 and 8 assists!
Fiskerstrand was assist king with 14 assists, Magnusson chips in 10 from LB
Onto the Norwegian Premier Division and the Cup. Can I do a first season in the top-flight double? Probably not, some of my squad are aging and we’re lacking a decent DM, with Barkemo’s injury. Our CB positions look shakey with Johnsen’s retirement, my two best CB’s are 16 and 18 now. Midfield is also looking thin, with one or two players aging. I’ll have to bring in fresh blood, but the core of the squad is there. A RB, CB, DM and 2x CMs and, with a bit of luck, we could challenge.
Onward…
