Is Writing a Solitary Art Form?
It seems as if I go out of my way to avoid others, and I wonder if this is normal
Here is a confession I have to make as a published writer: I hate socializing online with people, and often in person too.
I’m not sure what it is, but when people get “too close,” I do feel a sense of caring for them, and I enjoy communicating, but the fandom they have towards me soon becomes claustrophobic. I start to isolate.
I find myself avoiding certain websites or places where they’ve gotten too familiar with me. (This is one reason why I now don’t allow comments on various platforms.) As soon as I see another message from a fan who has become a friend, I feel as if I can’t write for that audience anymore. I then go somewhere else for a few days, and rotate my platforms.
Is this just the way writers are?
Most of these people are not professional writers, and if they are, they are reading my writing to observe and utilize them in their own works. That too I find bothersome at times. I don’t mind, because as writers, we all share thoughts and ideas, but later on I learn that some of these writers are only capitalizing by writing on popular topics to make money. Then they charge exhorbitant amounts for their books, something that average people can’t even afford. I don’t find this right somehow. I can’t really relate to someone who writes with money in their eyes.
I don’t do any of that. My writing on Medium isn’t monetized. My writing on other websites isn’t either. Whatever I’ve submitted (except for years ago when I actually wrote generic articles for some cash), is not for sale. I am also having a few novels and a collection of short-stories published, but don’t expect to get rich from that either. Most of what I’ve submitted to more artsy places have been short-stories, not much else so far. Most of what I write is not intended solely for profit. I’m also not a full-time writer, as I have many other pursuits, and I’ve had to work “real life” jobs too.
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I write because it is a craft for me. My writing is a passion, not a purse, so to speak.
And so I find that I share little in common with most people who work for a living, to make a living. The same with writers who write and think they’re going to get rich. That’s called “selling out.” I can’t really be inspired by those who don’t actually want to leave something of lasting quality in their works. I feel that we are coming from completely different places. And even if writers do deserve more accolades, I think time in the end will sift the content through, and what is actually meaningful will persevere. Your money won’t though.
And so I hide. I feel that staying away, working on my writing, but avoiding too much friendly chit-chat is probably my best bet. It appears as if I isolate, mostly to avoid “contamination” from the outside world.
In addition, becoming too friendly with others then allows them to dominate a writer’s time, and their lives, and this isn’t healthy for us. We can’t spend hours answering messages and emails every day. Soon the friendship become a demand: “why aren’t you calling me?” one of them asked. I told them, “because I have a hard time trusting people.” It’s true though. I have had some horrible experiences with people I met from online, and I never want to go through that again.
Then I even find myself lying, and telling them that “I just don’t like how I sound,” or “I’m not well right now.”
Serious writing isn’t for everyone. I do think it requires a lot of alone time, and it requires a lot of focus and concentration. At this time, I’m working on editing a novel for example, and I can barely do one chapter a day — it’s hard work. Even being interrupted by mundane tasks becomes annoying and frustrating.
And then there’s the problem of literary circles. Do they even exist? Or is everyone writing to get a new screenplay sold, or to get published in some glossy magazine? I know some are even writing just to become famous, or to get back at someone — yes, it’s true. It’s fine if this elevates your ego, but you cannot keep doing that forever.
Writing means a lot of things to different people, but in the end, some of us find that isolation is a big part of writing because we also lack connection to direct sources of inspiration. Thus, we have to inspire ourselves. Sometimes I wish I had been born in another century — the 19th century Romantics perhaps. I would have enjoyed being part of those literary circles back then. I feel that I don’t fit in with today’s crowd either. I like a good horror story now and then, but Stephen King still isn’t Mary Shelley, and that says a lot.
And so I walk this solitary path by choice, but I also have no other options, really. I could give in to temptation, but that would mean having to get rid of who I really am, and what I want to entail in my writing. It sounds sad and weird to some, but it is the only way I know how to be. There are probably many of us like this out there: the solitary writers who need a lot of silence, peace, and isolation in order to thrive.
