Dementia
As the newly-elected president of County Donegal, the Corncrake has issued the following presidential edicts. Stockpiling of tinned and dried food will commence immediately and the Council’s resident architect will issue bunker plans for those residents not equipped with a stone-built or slatted-concrete cattle shed. The new biometric Donegal passports will be issued from the various public-service centres around the county from 12 noon today. Anyone who does not qualify as a Donegal native, either by birth, familial connections, ginger hair, or a genetic predisposition to Football Special, will be separated from the general population. The imposters will be transported, in resurrected Swilly buses, to the holding compounds at Finner Camp, where they will be processed, assessed and deported. The construction of the Great Donegal Wall between us and the rest of the island, will begin tomorrow morning, or as soon as enough stone and blocks can be found. The wall will stretch from the sands of Bundoran all the way to Muff, with Customs and Donegal Civil Guard controlled checkpoints at Bridgend, Strabane, Belleek and Bundoran. New skin-colour swatches will be issued to all Council employees and Civil Guards. Anyone who is not compliant with the pale-pink to lobster-red hues (depending on the weather, obviously) will be arrested and questioned. If found guilty of being a blow-in, they will also be summarily deported. Refusal to attend church services on a Sunday or listening to anything but Country and Irish music will be a criminal offence, as will expressing any liberal-leftie opinions in a public place. Any woman who is in paid employment must immediately hand in her notice and get back indoors where there’s plenty of cleaning and cooking to be done. These edicts are but the beginning of a glorious revolution that will make Donegal truly great again and for those of you who voted for the other shower of do-gooders, yah boo sucks! It’s called Democracy baby, yeah. And in other news, the USA has a new president whose skin tone matches many a hi-viz workman’s vest, and honestly, I really can’t think of too much more to say, other thank God we’ve an ocean between him, them and us. But hey, it’s democracy and who’s to say the voters aren’t right… very right, very, very right.
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But enough of D.J.T. and the potential mutually assured destruction of this planet. There are more important things to be discussed, things that affect us all, and will do even more as the century progresses, so listen up, I’m being serious now. The Irish government come in for a lot of stick from me and other folk, and so do the HSE. For the most part the criticisms are deserved, but every now and then, the government and the HSE manage to pull their fingers out and do something right. Last week saw the launch of a new National Dementia Strategy, called Understand Together. There are 55,000 people living with dementia in Ireland, that’s half a million in families affected by the diagnosis. A new National Office has been established and an awareness programme is in place to educate us all about dementia in all its forms and diagnoses. We have an ageing population and that demographic will only increase as medical advances keep us alive longer. We all need to know what a dementia diagnosis means, not just for the person living with that diagnosis, but also for the carers and families. A person with dementia is a person still… a living, loving human being, just like you and me. In these dark times, with all those presidential shenanigans, maybe it’s a good time to reach out, to learn more about people, to educate ourselves about ageing and spread a little love around. It goes a long way. And that’s an order.
