When dreams don’t come true

The profound tragedy of stillbirth affects millions of families each year.

Globally, 1.9 million babies were estimated to be stillborn in 2021, a stark reminder of the widespread nature of this loss. In the United States, despite medical advancements, approximately 21,000 babies are stillborn annually. This translates to about 1 in every 177 pregnancies, underscoring the ongoing challenges and the critical need for greater awareness, research, and support for affected families.

Looking at family cemeteries in Appalachia tells this same story over and over again across generations. Tiny headstones lined up beside their parents’ stones. Weary, grieving parents who lost so much in life that they couldn’t bear to be parted from their angels in death.

The idea of infant loss wasn’t new to me. Decoration, a deeply rooted tradition in the American South, particularly in Appalachia, is a unique practice of honoring deceased loved ones that predates the establishment of a national Memorial Day. Typically occurring in the late spring or early summer, it involves families and communities gathering at local cemeteries for a day of cleaning and adorning gravesites with flowers and other remembrances. Beyond the physical act of decoration, these gatherings often include religious services, communal “dinner on the ground” potlucks, and storytelling, serving as essential occasions for family reunions and strengthening community bonds across generations.