“WAGON” 10/03/2024
This is just me. Hi. Just regular, real life me. This is my ten minutes to write. Right now. I mean I write all day. Even when I’m not writing. I’m consumed. Haunted. Wound up. By stories. Especially the one I’m working on currently. I love it so much. The disappearing. That’s how I know I’m where I’m supposed to be. When I’m nothing. When I’m gone. Now I have to find a way to fucking tuck in the word: wagon. Which will not be clever or smooth. But in just saying that I have done just the thing. My brain is elsewhere as I’m about to leave for the airport. A wedding. Should I have checked the weather? Is it snowing? Doesn’t it always snow there? I have no idea. I feel ill prepared, but also, fine! Relaxed. Excited.
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I spent my whole life wishing to find kindred spirits. I would scrutinize people’s features on the subway, and think: “Maybe I’m related to them!” And while biological relation does not imply kindred, I looked anyway. And here I am getting to see so many biological relations. It makes me feel filled with a glowy, gooey joy.
Especially my mom. I can’t call her my mom, cause I have a “mom”. But she’s the woman who made me and I just love her so much it hurts. I can’t wait to hug her and laugh and listen.
She’s more than I ever could have hoped for.
And I have siblings! I hope they know I love them. I may not know know them. We certainly are not intimate, but I do feel fondly for them. And I really care about their futures. Their lives. I hope they all find purpose and happiness. Wagon. Wagon. Wagon.
