Why I’m now writing about South America
If you’ve been following my work for a while, you may be wondering why the Medieval Indonesia person is now writing about South America and possibly also why I don’t have a job in Southeast Asian studies or medieval studies or something like that. There are a few facets to the answer:
- I live to learn and I get bored easily — not in an ADHD way but in a having-spent-months-working-on-the-same-topic-I-now-need-something-new-in-my-life way;
- I’ve always been interested in South America, and indeed the last taught course I took during my MA at Leiden was on indigenous American food and foodways in the archaeology department (a really interesting course, by the way);
- my primary interest is in the transformation of the world in the last few centuries as a result of the Columbian exchange; my earlier work on Indonesian topics pre-1500-ish was mostly about trying to understand an under-researched part of the world before Columbus, and I think looking at the more obvious effects of the Columbian exchange in the Americas is a natural next step;
- my doctorate wasn’t funded (for quite ridiculous reasons, which I won’t go into) and I had to work as a freelance English teacher to be able to afford rent and groceries and that sort of thing, leaving little time for networking or going to conferences and meaning that I have few publications or contacts in the field;
- the lack of funding also meant that I was unable to devote time or energy to developing certain skills, skills I think essential for someone working in anything to do with Indonesia; I can read Malay/Indonesian at a high level, for instance, but I’ve had very little speaking practice in the last five-and-a-half years (the last time I went to Indonesia was at the end of 2018);
- I wrote my dissertation in a little over two years (June 2018-Sept. 2020) while working full-time (for most of that period, anyway), and so, of course, I ended up with bad burnout, which is what happens when you work too hard for too long under poor conditions;
- I finished my PhD during the first stages of the COVID-19 pandemic, which exacerbated all of these issues and impaired my ability to make money, making the overall process ruinous to my finances;
- the other calamities that occurred during that period (surgery on my back; assorted deaths; my parents both having cancer at the same time) had a marked negative effect on my mental health and my ability to deal with stress (I got better but it was tough for a while there);
- I don’t have the CV to acquire a permanent academic job thanks to all of this;
- and my wife’s status as a non-EU citizen makes it very difficult for me to apply for (the small number of available) post-doctoral positions, any of which would undoubtedly require us to emigrate yet again, resetting my wife’s visa status.
And I must emphasise that we can’t afford to miss out on an EU passport for my wife. In the long run it is essential. We moved to Portugal two years ago and we’re staying here until she is a bona fide European. This will take some time. Until then I have to put my academic career, if it’s right to call it that, on hold. We’re too old now to bound around the world doing poorly paid short-term jobs anyway.
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This is not a situation of my choosing, and it still depresses me that it turned out the way it did. When I moved to Leiden to do an MA in 2016, I had hoped to do well enough that I would be in with a decent chance of getting full funding for my PhD. I was confident and mentally healthy back then. I worked very hard. In the end I did do very well in the MA, but my plan failed and I wasn’t given funding, for reasons beyond my control. Because of the aforementioned visa problem, I had no choice but to stay in the Netherlands and so decided to do the PhD unfunded.
Things would have gone very differently had I been funded, and I expect I’d still be working in Southeast Asian studies in some capacity. I’d have more money in the bank and I wouldn’t have had to worry so much about money in 2020 and 2021 (and 2022, and 2023, and…). I’m sure I’d be/I’d have been less stressed out about everything. I wouldn’t have had to rush the dissertation. I’d almost certainly have more publications. I’d know more people and have more references when applying for jobs. I’d probably enjoy the subject more as well. A little support from Leiden University would have gone a long way.
There were a few other indignities at Leiden, but I don’t want to go into those. Suffice it to say that I probably wouldn’t recommend sending your kids to study there. But everyone’s experiences are different.
Indonesia is a beautiful place, and Sunda especially so, and I wouldn’t say that I chose to abandon researching Indonesian history and manuscripts (etc.). As things stand, I no longer particularly enjoy revisiting or writing about Indonesian topics (or other topics, like the [Hemispheric] Middle Ages). I’m sure there will come a day when I will enjoy and appreciate those things again, but it will take time.
However: In the last year or so, I have learned to read an indigenous South American language. I’m pretty chuffed about this. I’ve put a lot of effort into improving my Latin as well, and I can understand Spanish much more easily too. I’ve written almost an entire book — the end is in sight — although whether it will ever be published I have no idea. I have a lot to say about a lot of things, and I’m excited to share some of them with you. Only a few of them relate to Indonesia, which is a shame. But it is what it is.
A. J. West — Lisbon, 2024.
