Deeper

I feel like a girl falling down a chasm in a red dress,

Wondering when I’ll start referring to myself as a woman.

Grabbing at vines entwined with sturdier trees-

They disintegrate upon my grasp.

.

The silky fabric is rough against my skin

The color burns my eyes

And I just pray someone sees the broken bones

Sheltering under the beautiful facade.

.

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen anyone clearly

Get meara hogan’s stories in your inbox

Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.

Remember me for faster sign in

The walls rush by quite fast in a free-fall

Hardly giving me space to cry as they close in around

Squeezing the life out of me with their razor sharp arms.

.

I think maybe if I scream I’ll feel better, feel heard

But no one goes to canyons to listen to heartache

And my shrill voice might ruin their family vacation anyway

So instead I’ll embrace the cliff’s swiftly suffocating walls.

.

Throw me a voice and I’ll strangle myself with it

Or i’ll just quietly, violently, fade away

Always falling deeper.