Frasier Crane’s Secret Code for Callers
“Tossed Salads” and “Scrambled Eggs” are just the beginning…
2 min readOct 29, 2023
- “Tossed Salad” = a functioning neurotic; the type of person who occasionally gets thrown off but can still host their own radio show
- “Wedge Salad” = a stylish but ultimately impractical person
- “Fruit Salad” = a person who is overly sweet; and, sometimes, a person with very little foresight — the type who buys bananas and then leaves them on the counter to turn brown
- “Mashed Potatoes” = a person who is overly accommodating, often takes on the personality of those around them
- “Diced Onions” = a person who routinely makes others cry
- “Chopped Carrots” = a person who feels physically or emotionally impotent
- “Roasted Brussels Sprouts” = a bitter person who must be handled delicately, often blames their own distastefulness on the failure of others
- “Marinated Meat” = a person who likes to soak in the world around them, is often found soaking in a literal tub
- “Grilled Cheese” = a person who melts under pressure
- “Blanched Almond” = a person who is afraid of aging, is often addicted to precise washing regimens and skin care
- “Pickled Cucumber” = a person who is stuck in their ways, typically grows more sour and warty by the day
- “Canned Vegetable” = a shut in
- “Stuffed Turkey” = a person who is full of themselves; alternatively, a person with disordered eating
- “Parboiled Rice” = a person who got early advantages in life, went to the good preschool
- “Pasta al dente” = a person with a firm hand shake
- “Corn on the Cob” = a person with a stick up their butt
- “Pig in a Blanket” = a selfish person who is always cold, often asks for things to be brought to them
- “Sloppy Joe” = a person who frequently forgets to wash their hands, never learned to pick up their own socks
- “Fried Egg” = a person who has children
- “Soft Boiled Egg” = a hardened person with a good heart
- “Hard Boiled Egg” = a hardened person with a hardened heart
- “Sous Vide Egg” = a person who didn’t notice things changing around them until it was too late
- “Scrambled Eggs” = a person who is clinically insane (and a good candidate for a referral to Niles!)
Get Amy Greenlee’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
For more TV humor, follow Pause Button on Twitter @ThatPauseButton







