Stop it
Has it ever felt to you, that somewhere along the way you made a mistake, a wrong choice, a lapse in judgement, an error in comprehension or were plain old dumb, and now you are headed down s tunnel a dark, gory, slippery tunnel, that you have no meaning being in. You are SO NOT supposed to be there, that even that path rejects you, however worse it may be.
That calling you hear when you realise that you are not where you are supposed to be, is something we all feel, but this feeling is different. In this situation you are here not because you were lazy, or procrastinated or didn’t want to study a few more or hours, you are here because you made a conscious choice. A choice to go down a path, that you should not have been down.
Down in this depth of hell, your kindness is punished, your virtues are your weaknesses, any mode-com of dignity or morality that you hold, and try, simply try to live and practice, is punished with scrutiny, dumb judgments, half baked philosophy by people with a twisted sense of identity, who know that this is where they belong, that this is where there people are, and they feel accepted. But you exist as a distorted piece in this imagery of a broken sculpture, and with time you either become smoothed out by the currents and flows of time and pressure, or become the focal point till you either become the focal point or you’ve to be cut out.
What do you do when you realise where you are, and what you might end up becoming, with bits of your soul being traded away for a conformity you despise, and yet can’t fight against lest be destroyed.
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Do you choose to
go down as a last flaming light, with hope that you stayed true or
do you conform and lay down, let them crawl over you, hoping that it isnt too bad, and that it ends soon or
do you climb back up, through the depths of hell, layer by layer, scream and seek an opportunity for someone to lend you just a sign that if you climb out then there is another path regardless of whether you have to carve it out yourself or one already laid down.
I think i have found my answer.
STOP asking and maybe start finding your own answers.
