No one deserves to be lonely.
That bright cold night walk.
It was a decent night, cold breeze flowing through, the bright moon was up, an ideal day for a good long night walk.
Time was a little late so most of my neighbors were asleep, almost every building’s light was off, except one. While passing I saw through the window of that house, stories of losses were well known, it was the house that had recently lost two of its three family members to COVID-19. The light was from the dining room, which had a window facing the main road. The person sitting there was the only surviving member of that family, around 60 years old neighborhood uncle, who moved here around five-six years back to relish his retirement. But was left lonely by this tragedy.
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A thought hit my mind which was short yet a strong one:
“No one deserves to be lonely”
Sometimes we want to be by ourselves just in our thoughts. Is that loneliness? No, that is a state, the state of being “alone”, which sometimes is by choice, whereas, “loneliness” is a feeling, the feeling of having no one, which is an unhappy state of mind and is without choice.
I stopped and thought of saying “Hi”, as soon as I started moving towards his house, I froze, soon enough that soothing cold breeze became colder than you can enjoy, the brightness of the moon became dimmer than it was before. It was my mind questioning me, what are you going to talk about, will it be, How is he? or How can I help you? Or something different. That genuine smile, exchanging morning greetings from his lawn, waving his hands to get your attention is not going to be the same anymore. That moment took away all my courage, I somehow wasn’t able to move towards him anymore.
I stepped back, looked at those stars twinkling through the sky. As a child, we are often told, “those who leave us for eternity become stars”. Maybe that’s true. The losses, the grief, the loneliness maybe it’s just temporary.
That day, I couldn’t walk, I came back, I felt tired by just walking two blocks.
There is no happy ending to this incident. This is not just about my neighborhood uncle or pandemic. Look around you, many smiles are waving through their lawns waiting for your attention. Say “Hi” because this is true:
“Everybody deserves alone time, but no one deserves to be lonely.”
