NSLS Blog Post 1 Better Me
Why I chose to focus on Bringing Back the Happy Me!
When I began on the NSLS Better Me: Better World Project, the idea of just focusing on me was extremely uncomfortable. I’ve always been a person who put others before myself, but when I chose this, I realized that I reach my breaking point in it. I need to focus on myself so that I can make be happy again instead of trying to make everyone else happy while I was suffering.
Why this Focus?
My decision to focus on my happiness stemmed from growing awareness of how I had been neglecting my physical, intellectual along with my emotional needs. In the end it was affecting my leadership at work, my schoolwork as well as how I was at home, I felt like I had no balance. I was constantly sick, crying and always feeling emotionally drained. By choosing this project it wasn’t about just me thinking inside the box, I had to think outside and really do self-evaluations, I had to make a commitment to make myself Happy again, so that I could have enthusiasm for my passions, life, family, and all around ME!
One of the things that worked to motivate me was the idea that self-discipline is the foundation of leadership. It would be impossible for me to motivate other people if I did not have the self-control to take care of myself. When I was planning out all of the goals for my project, I used this idea as my driving force. I used five important areas: physical growth, intellectual pursuits, emotional care, ethics, and service to others.
My Goals and Vision
For me to be accountable, I set SMART goals, as to where I would focus on them daily. The SMART goals that I had set for my becoming Happy consisted of journaling, reading self-help books, articles, meditations and counseling. I took my larger goals and broke them down into smaller groups for it to seem simpler.
1. Eat heathier instead candy and fast food.
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2. Read daily- By reading daily I was getting more time in to read my self-help books.
3. Have specific time for journaling- keeping a routine is always best for me.
4. Make weekly appointments to attend self-help or counseling meetings to help me focus on regaining me back.
Not only did I have the expectation that this project would enhance my personal well-being, but I also had the expectation that it would build my capacity to lead with empathy and integrity. I hoped that by engaging in regular self-reflection, I would be able to become more knowledgeable about ethical conundrums and improve my ability to make decisions. The objective was to resurrect the earlier version of myself so that I could improve my leadership skills at work and be in a position to assist other people.
The Start of a Journey
This wasn’t easy for me. Attending mental health sessions was nerve racking for me, I am not a person who likes to talk about themselves, none the less someone who wants to talk about issues. I had to adjusting my daily doings to be able to work on my list of goals. Journaling for me felt like a challenge, again I don’t like to talk about what is bothering me, so me writing them down I had to dig deep and really put my all into and tell myself that if I wanted to go back to my old self and happier then I had to do it. My motivation to do what I needed to do; I realized that everything that I was doing now was going to help me reach my success. A perfect IE is during my couple of weeks of writing that my mom noticed a changed in my moods.
There were times that I had reacted to certain things that I normally would cry, freak out or even just lash out. My group settings with coworkers, strangers as well as family has improved drastically. My calendar has become my guarantee, with each day that came and left, I was in full swing of my habits. By using my calendar, I see what I need to do with helping me stay focused, dedicated as well as organized. As I do each goal, I know that I’m getting closer to making me Happy again.
Reflecting on the “Why”
Currently, as I sit here and reflect on the decision that I took to write about myself, I realize that it was the most difficult choice that I have made in a long. For me to be a successful leader at work and with my family, I am aware that I need to be in the best version of myself. This is something that I am very certain of. I was finally able to embark on the voyage that had been waiting for me for a very long time. Over the course of the following piece, I will provide you with additional information regarding the actions that I took, as well as some of the challenges that I encountered.
#NSLS
