The Change I never imagined would happen.
Today was a pretty summer — y day in a new year but I think I’m still hung up on last Winter. As a matter of fact, I’ve never referred to time in seasons. You might think “What’s the big deal bro?” of course it’s not a very big deal for those who have experienced different seasons, but it is for me.
Why? Does it have anything to do with the fact that changing of seasons really fascinates me now or the fact that changing seasons somehow shows me that somethings don’t stays the same.
I was an individual who believed that everything’s gonna be consistent and I was really comfortable with it. I never had serious changes in my life that would really affect me. So in a sense I had a pretty boring life. I lived with my family surrounded by my relatives in my own country. I knew the roads, the people, sometimes even the shopkeepers around the neighbourhood, simply I was really comfortable with my surroundings.
It only took one day for my life to completely change. The people, shops, roads, even road signs, mostly Sceneries all looked different and unfamiliar merely in few hours.
This is when I had to pack up my whole life into one suitcase even through I had two (My mum used the other suitcase to pack spices and pickled food) and fly across oceans to land in another country.
I read somewhere that there are stages when you move to a whole different country that should go through. First the honeymoon stage. where you go exploring new places and be mesmerized by the beauty. I even appreciated the small things in public places. Clean roads, different signs, creative billboards or anything that i haven’t seen. I was fascinated by those things. My camera role was filled with random places that i thought looked cool. I even photographed the city council cuz that building looked cool. petty me.
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That stage really is something.
Second, the stage where you miss your old life, your friends, your loved ones, your daily routines, your people, your food and everything about what you left behind. It is a lot and really hard to push through. I have cried alone at night hiding under my bedsheets trying not to make any sound. Life starts to feel like a waste of time. You just randomly feel guilty for leaving your loved ones just by looking at a photo. You feel sad that you might not be able to see your grandma for real again. Also You think a lot about the fact that you are going to miss a lot of milestones in your favourite cousins lives. But we have to handle that.
I would say the third stage would be that, you tend to question yourself a lot about the decisions that you took. Even the decision to migrate. You question yourself everyday, in everything you do. You question whether you are allowed to feel happy over something considering the fact that you left the whole life that you built several seas behind.
The next for me was accepting the fact that this is my life now and everything happens for a reason and that now I have to work with it. Then You starts to see the real beauty and you starts to love the difference. The fresh beginnings, new people and new experiences. You start to slowly like living. life starts to feel like it restarted.
I’m now in that stage, the things from here are yet to come and I know life will throw curve balls at me but I will push through them somehow. That’s the plan.
This is THE CHANGE I NEVER IMAGINED WOULD HAPPEN…..
Ps:- and I’m glad it happened cuz now I’m more than near to finding my true self.
