Swollen.
I will straighten my hair to take out the trash, my closet is color-coordinated, and I used to play five sets of volleyball with a full face of makeup — to say I’m vain is an understatement.
So, imagine my surprise when, a whole four days after my wisdom teeth extraction, as I get ready to head to church this morning, I look in the mirror and see a striking resemblance to the Nutty Professor.
Everyone told me this would be a quick and easy surgery and recovery. Everyone has been patently false. Between the gauze pads and painkillers and blended foods — I’ve been miserable. But it was when I was faced with my own reflection and saw the jaw of someone who ate bricks for fun that I knew this procedure had gone too far.
If my face were my moneymaker, I’m bankrupt. Face card couldn’t buy a can of ginger ale. There was no way I could go to church with a face that only Jesus could love. It’s against my entire brand. Yet, I knew I had to go to church today. After the week that just passed and the week that lies ahead, there’s no other place I could spend the morning than at the House of the Lord.
I was faced with a deep dilemma — would my vanity prevent me from receiving the companionship and communion with the Lord that I longed for? That I knew I needed?
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And maybe you, too, are plagued with something that’s keeping you from dwelling in God’s House — maybe it’s a wrestle with sin, time scarcity, lack of discipline, guilt, trauma, illness, you name it. It may feel like you must dot every I and cross every T before you can be in His presence. Perhaps there’s something about your perceived shortcomings that’s inhibiting you from chasing Him.
When Jesus came down from the mountainside, large crowds followed him. A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.” Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!” Immediately he was cleansed of his leprosy. Then Jesus said to him, “See that you don’t tell anyone. But go, show yourself to the priest and offer the gift Moses commanded, as a testimony to them.” Matthew 8:1–4. NIV.
Oh, but how wrong we are when we think this way! Whether it’s the blind man, the woman with a bleeding disorder, the man with leprosy, or the dozens of other folks we read about in the Gospel, Jesus works miracles through our imperfections. If we were perfect at the outset, there would be no need for Jesus. There would be no Christmas season. There would be no Redeemer. It is because we all fall short that we are blessed with the One who was sent to save us all.
Just then a woman who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak. She said to herself, “If I only touch his cloak, I will be healed.” Jesus turned and saw her. “Take heart, daughter,” he said, “your faith has healed you.” And the woman was healed at that moment. Matthew 9:20–22. NIV.
Importantly, those whom Jesus healed in His earthly ministry did not succumb to their illness. They didn’t just decide to give up. No, they actively sought Him for healing. Similarly, we cannot hide in the dark and expect the light to find us. It requires our own conviction, our own faith, to make us well. He can do all things, and we must invite Him in to make miracles out of our messes.
As Jesus went on from there, two blind men followed him, calling out, “Have mercy on us, Son of David!” When he had gone indoors, the blind men came to him, and he asked them, “Do you believe that I am able to do this?” “Yes, Lord,” they replied. Then he touched their eyes and said, “According to your faith let it be done to you”; and their sight was restored. Jesus warned them sternly, “See that no one knows about this.” But they went out and spread the news about him all over that region. Matthew 9:27–31. NIV.
We cannot hide our swollen cheeks, our broken hearts, our shattered dreams, our fallen expectations, or our horrid experiences from the omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient God. He knows what we’ve got going on underneath our facades and mirages of perfection. Yet, it is in seeking God whilst in our most vulnerable states that we begin to see His power and glory manifest.
So, I went to church: swollen face and all.
And it was awesome.
This week, I pray that we bring our insecurities and vulnerabilities to the One who can make all things new. I pray we feel acutely the love you have for the meek, the vulnerable, the poor in spirit, and the humble. I pray that we feel free to let go of the expectation of perfection and allow God to enter our lives and create miracles from our messes.
