Keeping The Peace
Sometimes, something throws off my balance. Some intuition or intrusive thought or situation or heavy emotion and pushes my thoughts together so that they are one large chaotic cloud.
And then I have to take out the time to calm the chaos. I have to sit in the middle of whatever godawful tornado my mind has cooked up for me and try to navigate my way out of it so that it doesn’t leak out of my head and ruin everything else.
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I have to take time to mull it over and keep the peace.
I don’t mull it over a cup of tea or with music in the background. It doesn’t happen while I’m sitting at a chair with my thoughts and plans on a piece of paper.
I’m curled up in the silence, in the dark, with tears falling onto whatever pillow I’m clinging to to keep myself together.
Because it feels like the sobs would literally break my body.
