⟳ terrain ⟳
⟳ terrain ⟳
Some of my most vivid memories of first steps are with my YehYeh.
When I was four-years-old, I used to walk on ice with him. He’d hold my hand so tightly that my fingers would go numb. I’d look up to him for approval, as I slid along the frozen pond in my light-up sneakers. Whenever I started to slip, he’d widen his eyes and laugh, as though the whole thing was a joke. We walked like that for what felt like hours — moving slowly and steadily across frozen water.
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It was difficult, the expedition across the pond. Every step felt overly cautious yet didn’t provide any level of certainty that I would be safe. The only thing that kept me from becoming paralyzed with fear was my YehYeh’s insistence to keep going. His persistence made it almost impossible to turn back — there was only forward.
Sometimes, I would turn over my shoulder, seeing my mother and NaiNai smiling patiently, with frosty grass underneath their feet. They’d wave at me as they watched our trek from the sidelines. When we finally reached the opposite end of the pond, I skipped my feet to do a little hop onto the firm ground, relieved to move freely again. Running over to my mother, she embraced me in her warm winter coat as my NaiNai and YehYeh conversed with each other in their sing-song dialogue — a rapid fire of Mandarin mixed with my YehYeh’s heavy Sichaunese accent, accentuated by his jovial nature. Holding hands with my mom, we followed them as they guided us back to their grand house which perched over a marvelous view of the Hudson river.
When faced with a difficult journey, the stress of it is all we can think about. Feeling slowed down by the unknown makes us overthink, doubt and mistrust in our intuition. We tend to feel what can only be known during the process is how hard it is. We rarely take the time to imagine what enormous possibility there is in noticing the beauty of the struggle itself. Observing this provides us an opportunity to reimagine where we are headed.
Finding presence through strife is a tall order — escapism is much easier. But finding our awareness through each step of the way is what crafts a clear, intentional plan on how to cross scary, and sometimes even dangerous terrain. By being present, we withstand the stress, and welcome anew.
And so I ask you:
⟳ How can you be present on your travels across difficult terrain?
