Testing the Waters
You have definitely heard this positive psychology “trick” before. It is a variation on what my parents and the Girl Scouts always told me — be prepared. Science is on their side — research shows that preparation before change is a key ingredient when making a decision to change our mind or behavior. The “trick” includes starting before you are ready and experiment with your desired change. I learned this psychology trick during my residency at the Veterans Hospital where I helped women let go of addictions.
These strategies work well for all of us who are attempting a new task or wanting to make a change. If you have ever attempted a new year’s resolution and the forgot about it by February, you are not alone. Motivation alone can carry us about 19 days into a change. Motivation is a feeling and feelings come and go. Because of this, we need to generate committed actions through “testing the waters.”
The first time I tried the preparation trick, I was avoiding studying for my psychology license exams. I kept telling myself “I have no time” and I just wanted to stay home with my toddler. I convinced myself the task was going to be “more than I could handle” with my parenting responsibilities. These kinds of thoughts were a sure-fire way to stop myself from even starting to study for the exams.
A friend was studying for her exams and I told her I would “help” her study. I told her (and myself) that I was “not yet ready” to study. We met twice a week and she kindly encouraged me to bring my son to our study sessions. This kind gesture from her made it possible, otherwise I am unsure I could have made the commitment at that time. My trick to “help” her study took all the pressure out of my mind, and I just got started. Guess what? Turns out helping someone study for her exam was actually me studying too. I was ready to take the exam when my friend was.
I used the trick again a few years later when I was ready, albeit ambivalent, to return to exercise after my son started kindergarten. I decided I would start in January, but just “test the waters” for a month in advance. I felt I was not undertaking a grueling change of activity, but rather just experimenting. Turns out, taking a yoga class or going for a practice run really is exercising. When January came around, I had convinved myself that I really wanted to keep up my classes.
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Want to make a change?
Here are my five tips that I call “Testing the Waters.”
1. Visualize yourself after you have made your change. You might visualize yourself being healthy, learning more, building a creative practice, etc. Create a collage with images of your vision. Alternatively, you can select three images on Pinterest. Write 3–5 sentences about yourself as you imagine who you will be when you are living your vision. Keep the images and your writing in a place you can review it everyday, perhaps by your bedside table.
2. Pick your official start day about a month in advance. Give yourself at least a month before you dive in so you have time to conduct multiple experiments. Mark the date on your planner or post it in the kitchen.
3. Identify 2–3 experiments to “test the waters.” For example, sign up for a single yoga class, take a trip to the library, make a painting on a piece of cardboard that you plan to throw away, etc. Each of these are no pressure experiments and they will help you build momentum and ensure you really want to commit to your vision. You might find you like your initial experiments or you might discover new strategies to achieve your vision.
4. Schedule one experiments each day (or each week as appropriate). Keep reminding yourself that you are “just testing the waters” and there is no pressure. Review your collage and writing each day to remind you that you are considering a change.
5. Observe yourself conducting the experiments. Ask yourself how it feels to “test the waters.” Using water color paint, create an image of the experimental process. Write a few sentences after each experiment. Here are some questions you might consider. Are you ready to begin your official change? What did the experiments teach you (confidence, trust, courage, relief, etc.). How do you want to feel when you are the person you visualized? Is the vision worth the effort?
Testing the Waters might feel like a lot of work initially, but if you have tried to change in the past and been unsuccessful, I urge you to follow these steps to success. They will build your foundation of commitment and help ensure you have the energy to sustain the change in the long run.
I would love to hear from you! Send me your story of change over on Instagram @dramybackos. I will be here cheering on your success.
