Self care is not selfish.
I’ve been on Earth for 21 years and I’ve only recently stepped into the world of self care. I’m the sort of selfless person that would put you before me. Put your needs above mine and give you all my care and attention. In a way, being selfless was like self care to me. And boy was I wrong.
The most common self care act is meditation, so that’s what I did. I treated myself to meditation 15 minutes and I cried tears of joy after, realising how much I’d needed it. Those few moments of quiet mindfulness gave me so much peace and calm, I could actually finally think about myself and for myself. I hadn’t realised how thin I’d spread myself, thinking about others' well-being, working for my education and career that I’d forgotten to be there for myself. After those moments of peace, I realised how important it was to take care of myself, my feelings, thoughts and mental well-being. I’ve been practicing meditation for a year, albeit not as consistently as I’d like, and it’s done wonders for my mental health. I’m able to sleep better, quicker and overthinking-free.
After reading, watching other people’s journeys and experiences, I realised that self care looks different to everyone. Everyone’s life is different, with different situations and different tastes. Self care to me, looks like waking up a little later in the morning, curling up with a book, dancing goofily to loud music, or a long warm relaxing shower. For another, it could be about aesthetic value, cleaning up living spaces, giving self a cool face mask, doing skin care or giving their wardrobe a makeover.
Self care could also look like cutting out junk or sugary foods or a toxic person/relationship. Waking up early in the morning to hit the gym or staying up late to talk to someone you love. Taking long walks or lazing around and taking it slow. Painting and making art or cooking a feast. Journalling with a pretty aesthetic book or messy brain dumps. It could be as simple as lighting a scented candle to something as drastic as a bedroom makeover.
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There’s so much to self care, and everyone needs fixes to different aspect of life. It could mean something completely different to you than it does to me.
What self care did for me?
Personally, my mental health became much more stable, I no longer let insignificant stuff hurt me, and was able to set boundaries. I realised self care was not selfish, it helped me be better for the people I cared and loved for. I took time to rest, heal and feel more energetic. It didn’t have to be about spending huge chunks of the day doing things that only looked aesthetic. Self care gave me self esteem and confidence and helped me accept myself as I am.
I see self care as three major types, namely, physical, emotional and mental, and practical self care. Investing time and energy in finding what self care is right for you in itself is a very healing and therapeutic process. It will lead you to finding a sense of self, discovering a talent you didn’t know you had.
The world of self care is vast and diverse, and isn’t one size fits all. Dive in and take your pick, take care and love yourself.
Treat yourself like someone you love
Thank you for reading my first blog ☺
