Deserving What?
Do you know what you deserve?
I don’t know what I deserve.
From holding a pencil that I did not buy
To drawing anything under the sky
I do not know what I deserve.
From the respect from people who birthed me
To have what it takes to really find someone I’d like to be
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I do not know what I deserve.
Holding on to old patterns for the worse
Piling on failures to my life like a curse
I do not know what I deserve.
A shiny brain that’s waiting to be discovered
My mind neatly stores the words I never uttered
I do not know what I deserve.
When I think of the word ‘deserve’ and think what is it really?
A word meant to create self worth in a world never meant for competition, clearly!
I do not know what I deserve.
Because it is self limiting, almost like a prison
If I wondered less about deserving, what would I unlearn?
That economics and competition is not the way of life
That being the best daughter isn’t it, nor being an ideal wife
That fathers and mothers put academic pressure on you
Without realising they need you to ask, 'but for what and who?'
Submission dictates what I deserve, is it not?
If I submit to the tyrannical system, I deserve to live
If I submit to my fears, there’s more that people may give
If I work hard enough, my family will love me
If I adjust at work, I’ll be promoted duly
If I give in to conditions of society, I will live “freely”
But submission is losing yourself; would I be living, really?
