Mislabel Maker
I don’t know why Democrats are so upset: one of their own won. We’re being ordered around because the president just had to ruin the economy. Like plug-in cars, the label is the only thing that matters to them. Call a Tesla an Edison so liberals drive them instead of keying swastikas on them. Self-aggrandizing foes are ticked for the wrong reasons just like the incumbent’s devotees are pleased for incorrect ones. This is the closest to bipartisan agreement we get.
You might think liberals are pleased that the repeat president has made it far harder to enact conservative goals. But they never think ahead. Alleged government shrinker Donald Trump notoriously promised to preserve sinking Social Security, which will be the first time he’s ever told the truth. An investment so bad that it could’ve been in his Atlantic City casinos is mandatory, which he wishes he’d gotten to try. Trump Plaza might still be open if taxpayers had to fund it.
The worst retirement plan possible is fitting in its way as a sign of doom to come. We’ll naturally be made to suffer in the meantime. The inability to afford discounted elderly bus fare won’t be a big change. The big government-adoring Republican of course has his precious tariffs, which are a meddlesome tax just like his sworn enemies adore when they enact them.
There’s no need to fear an alleged businessman will balance the books, either. A bankruptcy specialist spends like it. Unfathomably unconscionable spending continues apace at a level which would make Barack Obama blush. Liberals who want to counter the notion that they only care about claims and not results should start cheering for Trump wasting their money.
People will keep spending despite price increases that corporations won’t install, anyway. Joe Biden’s second term didn’t need the person in question making decisions any more than the first. Noting circumstances may change in response to pushy federal initiatives is a specialty of conservatives who realize seizing assets from the successful may prompt them to stop trying. Those sick of getting hassled by both parties are depressed for rational reasons unlike shrieking liberals who think Nazis lurk behind every corner.
Power-hungry goons are thieves who use power they seize to claim their plundering is illegal. As with their fellow criminals, they don’t think ahead. Like Carl and Gaear acting impulsively to retain their ill-gotten gains without a moment’s thought to consequences or morality, villains who take from the productive are grabbing what they want to get through that moment. The difference is one robber pretends to help victims.
Announcing just how they’re going to raise prices makes all the difference except for how it doesn’t Voters get to choose between inflation or tariffs. The shopping cart’s interior remains desolate upon reaching checkout either way, but hungry customers who can barely muster enough energy to keep pushing can pretend half the options are conservative.
Printing money seemed awesome, as it meant more money. But I knew there had to be a catch. By contrast, a fee on every import is more subtle conceptually. Adding a cost to every item will surely aid the economy: it means more spending, duh.
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Pick a fight with someone minding their own business to prove toughness. A docile neighbor is an easy target for a total non-bully to flex over. Canada got money while we got power, and the notion of trade is unacceptable to the business titan. Making demands instead of negotiating means losing out with economics or other countries.
Government bookies who collect a vig on every purchase seem confused. Confused autocrats can never quite explain if they’re trying to raise federal revenue or modify behavior so they can improve lives of stubborn individuals who flaunt autonomy. Your overseers it’s their job to protect people from enjoying themselves. Taxing all the fun things like alcohol, junk food, and tobacco at least meant you can theoretically afford a little. Pretending dyes will kill you leads to outright bans. I’m starting to suspect Robert F. Kennedy Junior might be a Democrat.
They’ll never anticipate a preemptive attack. Own the libs by spending like them. An actual conservative and true business success could explain why a few trillions pilfered or borrowed is as awful an investment as it is a violation of autonomy. Let’s elect one someday.
Americans suffer consequences beyond semipermanent financial woe. It’ll be way tougher to nominate an adult after all this immaturity. Like being the ironically emblematic RINO, Trump is a grownup only technically despite how he’ll pass 80 by the end of his second and blessedly final term.
Both sides embrace Kamala-style maneuvering where the nominee will have to claim to do everything differently while being in the same party. The only distinction will be how patriotic the intervention the framed. Prototypical minion J.D. Vance should act surprised following his inevitable betrayal. Mike Pence could’ve repeated the lessons about what happens to those who don’t learn history. Of course, we warned the previous sucker first.
Claiming to do what he won’t is how Trump reached out to Democrats. His career pattern has been difficult to notice because it’s only been going on as prominently as possible since the Reagan years. He might just be into vague promises delivered with wholly unearned confidence. Why would he stop fooling people begging to be suckered? Another term means he can finally get around to building that wall like he promised. The handy president had four years to stockpile supplies from Home Depot.
Trump gets things done aside from how he’s all talk. The rebooted presidency again features conservative rhetoric paired with liberal results. We get the best of both worlds otherwise.
The flying saucer’s tractor beam guides Earth into the Sun on schedule. The inevitability of what’s coming is comforting for those who know anguish looms and the ignorant for entirely different reasons.
We’re all doomed, which should please nobody. But some got their choice of the form of the destructor, and getting their way was all they wanted. Your apocalypse would’ve sucked. Partisans are pleased about the particulars of the apocalypse adhering to promises from its initiator. Nobody must wait another term for a functionally Democratic White House that’s into words and not results.
