A Valuable Lesson
In a person’s birth chart, the second house is what indicates self-worth and value. It is the natural sign for Taurus and ruled by Venus. In my own birth chart, my second house has three planets occupying it, Jupiter, Venus, and Neptune in the sign of Scorpio. You can say that with that much emphasis on the second house, what I value and how I value myself will be a focus for me in this lifetime. And because that house is in the sign of Scorpio, it will most likely undergo a lot of transformation.
And transformed it has been! Since my Uranus opposition, which was around 2012–2013, what I valued and what I thought contributed to my self-worth changed dramatically. I did not make life-altering changes right away, that took several years more, but that astrological event awakened my soul to a different way of being, to another path of living. I got off the hamster wheel, leaving the corporate career in 2017. I got off the relationship escalator, ending my marriage in 2019. My value system shifted from needing security to wanting freedom, from accumulating material wealth to desiring spiritual abundance, and from having an outward focus to having a more inward one.
When we do not have a clear idea of what we value, our own sense of self-worth is shaky at best. We delegate the assessment of our own value to the outer world. There are the tangible and external things that we think give us value, the job we hold, the degree we achieved, the house we live in, the things we own, the club we belong to, the achievements of our children, our spouse’s beauty, our own beauty. But these things can fade, be taken away, lose value based on societal shifts, and are prone to comparison. The foundation of our self-worth is built on proverbial sand.
How do we know what we really value? Sometimes we find out the hard way through events that are outside our control. We may lose someone we love, and that promotion we’ve been vying for just loses its luster completely. Or we strive for something we thought we valued only to realize when we’ve achieved it that it didn’t bring us the fulfillment that we thought it would. Some of our values are revealed through our interactions with other people. For instance, if we are triggered by those who always put themselves before others, we may value being of service. If we envy someone’s rank or position, we may value meritocracy, despite our arguments to the contrary.
Discerning our true values take time and self-reflection but here are some questions to ask to guide us toward them.
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1. What is true to you? Reflect on the choices you’ve made. Go back to the crossroads in your life. How did you make the decision? What prompted you to choose one path over another? For example, if you chose one job because it paid more even though the other job offered more flexibility. You can probably say that financial security is more important to you than freedom.
2. What angers you? The things that anger you may provide clues to values that you have not acknowledged. Do you get upset when someone cancels plans last minute? Do you feel disrespected? You may think it’s because you value reliability, but besides that, you may also value quality time.
3. How would you be described by people who know you? Do friends describe you as controlling? Maybe security is very important to you. Are you almost always chosen to plan family events? Organization may be an important value.
4. What are your must-haves in life? Of course, we all need food, clothing, and shelter. But beyond those are things that make our lives fulfilling. Without them, we would feel our lives are incomplete. For some that may be travel, religion, friendships, sex, etc. If you didn’t have it, what would your life be like? If you lost it, how would your life change?
5. What are the peak events in your life? What’s a common theme? Does it involve watching the sunrise, going whale watching, or kayaking down a river? Nature could be something you value. Or do the happiest moments in your life include a celebration, like a wedding or a bar mitzvah? Is it because you get to see more of the people you love? Then you value relationships. Or is it because you get to show off what you can afford? Then you may value status or money.
6. What are you fanatical about? Do you identify strongly with one political party? Do you follow a polarizing influencer on Instagram? Which values align with yours? Are you willing to give up friendships or relationships with family members who have opposite values? These may be signs that you are over-expressing a value. Find out why. What message is being delivered with the discovery of that value?
7. What sign and planets are in your second house? Astrology can also provide a window into what you value. Someone with Jupiter in the second house in the sign of Aquarius may value things that are progressive, humanitarian, or anything unconventional and may align their beliefs with those values. But if that Jupiter is quincunx or inconjunct Saturn in their 7th house in the sign of Cancer. Those values may be at odds with family members, partners, or friends who are more conservative. Radical empathy is needed to preserve those relationships.
Values are not meant to be hierarchical. Freedom is not more valuable than security. A person who values religion is not higher than a person who values science and vice versa. Rather what is important is how one’s values truly reflect who the person is. By becoming acquainted with our values through self-awareness, we become more of who we are. And the more we become who we are, the more we realize our own value and the more unshakeable we become.
