strange place
has anyone ever said this before? i don’t know
has anyone ever told her about this before? i don’t know either
it’s like finding a gorgeous gem inside a rough-surfaced rock. it didn’t look pleasing at the first glance, but then i am aware i was completely wrong. it didn’t look reachable. it’s strange. unfamiliar. never seen, never heard about it before. it looks warm, and comforting, and indeed like that.
though, it seems like hiding a beautiful desire inside. it contains flower petals, it’s pretty and delicate. it’s so bright, even brighter on the inside. and even though it holds roughness outside, it seems like it’s just the cover. something telling me a certain part of it was already broken. perhaps not anyone noticed that, i have no idea why i think i just know it. that’s why i lowkey want to hold it, share my warmth ’cause some parts of that place look cold and i assume they are some dots with no longer lights brighten them.
am i just being captivated?
but people would say it’s not right. and i want to blame myself for easily falling merely by her warmth, by someone’s nature, again and again, like never get tired of it.
and i’m not tired of saying this though, that i can’t help it.
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defeat the surface to dive deeper into her eyes. maybe something familiar is there, waiting to be found.
if not then it’s a complete void, darkness that will drown me. right … it’s the fear that stopped me before. silly me thinking i could do it again in a total foreign place, that will only kill me if i take the wrong step, thinking the gleam of hope is there after the pile of flower petals.
should i just … stay here and do nothing? should i just stay silent and not take further steps … again?
forget about that, now i am wondering. because there is no way nothing is there. there most likely no way the flower petals just exist there filling the void, only waiting for someone to restore the flowers again and demolish the surface. no way … is it? something holding it, waiting for a savior to replace the flowers, something like that exists in that place, ain’t it?
no matter how pretty the petals are
no matter how graceful those hands are, i was almost there, i was almost there to feel it. even though those warmths are spreading widely, i was almost there, wasn’t i?
can i hope for a greedy yearning to be able to reach the void, the stranger place for me and build a new garden there? i will not change anything else, i will let it stay like that, hugging it and sharing my desire … maybe even more.
lastly, forgive me for writing this and showing you such a monstrous want.
has anyone ever written something like this to you before? i don’t know, i’m just a stranger, trying to step in a strange place that is your soul.
