18/11/22
Real men don’t cry. Critically analyze this statement.
“Real men don’t cry”, a four word phrase which clearly highlights the toxic masculinity prevalent in today’s world. The patriarchal structure, alongside the assignment of basic human emotions to fixed genders is a reflection of the poor state society is in.
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For infants, crying is a method of communicating and expressing themselves, before the concept of languages. Even as they grow older and learn languages, crying remains an essential means of expressing any strong emotions, which highlights how there is no gender stereotype attached to crying at this stage. However, as children grow even older, even from the ages of three and four, innocent thoughts in little boys are poisoned with one idea: “real men don’t cry”. Soon, crying is associated with something inherently feminine, which is a tragic foundation set as they are just coming to learn and discover terms attached to the concept of males and females.
In a country like India, gender disparity in terms of roles in the household, pay at work and treatment in society, can be evidently noticed while growing up. After the indoctrination of “real men don’t cry”, any form of emotions and feelings are repressed by young men as they do not wish to appear weak in society. These deeply rooted societal stereotypes reinforce the expectations attached to what a man should be and how he should behave. It does not allow for one to explore their individuality and be unique.
The very statement “real men don’t cry ‘’ sets the firm basis of the concept of sexism as it assumes a female to be inferior for simply being accepted by society for displaying raw and genuine emotions of vulnerability and pain. Alongside the impact of this statement on women, its influence on the growth and development of young men is often overlooked. As mentioned before, crying is a primal emotion, often the first of a young baby. It is an emotion which comes naturally, from the day you are born. However, the restrictions set by the patriarchal society suppresses men from displaying these emotions and the accumulation of these feelings may eventually result in serious actions such as alcohol addiction, drug abuse, or even suicide.
Thus, “real men don’t cry” often, instead of making men into more composed individuals, limits them from expressing themselves and steals the opportunity for them to explore who they want to be.
