My Final Days in Nursing School Look Like…

Photo by Abdulai Sayni on Unsplash

Right now, my life is measured in exams.
Not days.
Not weeks.
Exams.

We’re done with classes.
Done with lectures.
Done with pretending we’re not exhausted.

What’s left are exams. Two big ones staring at us like, “You sure you’re ready to be a nurse?”
Pre-council.
Council.

Just typing that makes my chest tight.
At this point, sleep is optional.
Or maybe forbidden.
I’m so sleep deprived that I’ve started doing strange things just to stay awake.
Like boiling rice at 1 a.m.
Not because I was hungry.
But because if I stay in my room too long, the bed starts calling my name.
And once I sit on it, it’s over.

So I stay in the kitchen.
Standing.
Watching rice boil.
While reading.

Because apparently, this is who I am now.
What nobody prepares you for is how tired your brain gets.
Not the normal tired.