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My pleasure indeed when someone mentioned that you’re smart, you’re strong, you’re tough ; you’re brave and we can see that through your presence.
Every chance I heard those words, I always smile, feel proud, and narcissistic cause by that means, they can see my power and they knew I can’t easily get knocked down.
Sadly, no one’s perfect and a person is like a coin. We have two sides — our vulnerable side that everyone didn’t know about, our ugly past that we never let them to know.
It is not mandatory for them to understand what we’ve been through for this long time to receive that compliment. But they need to understand that we’re a human.
We can be sad, stress, weak, zero energy, dumb, clumsy, annoying, disappointing, etc — and they also need to deal with that kind of personality too, cause it’s a part of us too.
Please understand, behind someone’s stronger there also a weakness, when we show it, doesn’t mean we’re weak, it means, we need time to stand up.
Behind someone’s intelligent, there also a struggle to understand something, when we show it, it doesn’t mean we’re dumb, it means we need time to acknowledging something. We try, harder.
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Sometimes, people value us through our brain, our successful, our ideas, our bold move. When we get stuck, they shock. They thought we wouldn’t do that, but hey… surprise. We are human, we can be tired, we didn’t know anything about, and we can be confused. It calls, process.
But at least, we try —and please give us some time to break or to understand what you want. We also must deal with you human, the most confusing and loudest creature in this world.
Don’t worry, the writer isn’t sad. The writer is confused. Feel like whatever the steps I take, feels so wrong and never had enough. Like what I had mentioned at the above, it takes time — good things always take times.
The writer believes this is what Indonesian phrase by the well known from one of our philosophers — Tan Malaka– and people in my hometown used to said it like a holy spell every time life doesn’t take sides with us terbentur, terbentur, terbentuk or in English endure, endure, ensure — like a stone.
The whole process might be hurt you, but everything what you fight for, for your education, career, self growth, and health always be painful, and it must be painful or falling apart, cause you’re new life will cost you’re old one. There always something that need to sacrifice to achieve one.
When the times come, don’t forget that you did it, you’ve been through a lot, and when someone compliments you, you deserve it — you look back then nod your head that you really became what they call — and find another challenge to push your limit for the better self and for the future.
PS :
Relax, you’re still in early 20’s, you don’t have to figured everything else.
Everyone indeed in their rush to achieve something, you can also run faster as you can but don’t forget to take a breathe when you feel tired, then you can continue your run then stop again when your heart feel heavy, then run again.
You need to know, when you must run and when you must stop.
Enjoy the life.
You will arrive, soon.
