I Am Not Important And Neither Are You
I have a bit of a crush on a woman. It’s harmless. I don’t plan to “do” anything about this crush. The important thing is what I learned while I was busy creating a fantasy. For some reason I believed that I should be an important person in this lady’s world. We are colleagues in a group and some strange osmosis took place. We connected briefly. We shared one another’s status vis a vis relationships. Neither of us is “available”. I now ask myself this question: what made me think that I was important in this woman’s life?
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I look at my own grandiosity. I thought it was banished from my psyche, but…uh oh…here it is again in a new form. Self importance is not attractive. There are NO important people. Anywhere. If you think otherwise you haven’t grasped the sheer SCALE of existence. Consciousness is important because that’s what everything IS. The relative importance of a human being within the structure of consciousness is a passing conceit. The subtlety, grandeur, wisdom and compassion of the Highest Power is far far beyond our grasp. It is utterly inclusive and envelops everything in the physical world, the soul world, the spirit world, in all the worlds. I use the word “world” as a metaphor for certain structures in the Realm of Everything. If this is a difficult concept, just imagine an onion made from layers of thought. The core of this onion resembles a stellar object, such as a Black hole. It is an infinitely dense realm of focused and correct Thought.This Realm subsumes the Permanent and the Impermanent as complimentary aspects of The One Truth….or whatever you want to call it.
It’s refreshing to drop this facade of importance. I’ve got an ego. It’s pretty tattered and irrelevant at this point but it still holds sway in my psyche. I want to be admired, respected, loved, and I want, especially, to be understood. I also want to have the resources to return this regard with affection. I have not always been a warm person. This is an ability to connect with people in a way that is safe for everyone. My personal warmth is a work in progress. I have too much invested in my appearance. I’m in love with my own face. That isn’t a bad thing. I am confident in my own identity. So long as this fleeting identity keeps contact with the Infinite Wisdom, I hope to minimize my propensity for delusions, obsessions and over-excitement.
I can’t put it more succinctly than this: today I hope to be less ignorant and stupid than I was yesterday.
